A United Front in Marriage

Excellent comments regarding marriage in a family.

Gary Gavriel Dawson says:

"Yes! She is the other half of any man. That is what the Jews believe. They are supposed to be opposites. Man is hard, woman is soft. Man is thinking; woman is feeling. You understand?

Regarding speaking doctrine to a man, it is how they talk to each other that is the key. They should speak privately to one another. Not have public battles where one belittles the other. The bible says they are ECHAD BASAR - ONE FLESH. They should present a united front to the world, and especially to their children."

She's My Better Half

Gary Gavriel Dawson said this, it makes very good sense to me, something that God has been showing me for years.

"Actually in Judaism a woman is half of the whole man. Much more than just a helper. Where do you think the term, SHE'S MY BETTER HALF actually came from originally? It was from a religious Jew. Jews teach that Adam was a Hermaphrodite and was split into two by the LORD: man and woman. I just thought you Christians should know."

I have been persecuted by Christians for speaking to men about God, even saying that when a husband does not obey God we are to correct him and refuse to disobey God, even appealing to the husband to return to obedience to God when he strays. If we love our husbands, we will want them to be the best person they can be before God, the same is true if a man loves his wife, he will do the same.

Acts 5:29 "29 But Peter and the other apostles replied, “We must obey God rather than men."

Romans 16:17 "Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and obstacles that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Turn away from them."

Proverbs 28:4-6 "…4 Those who forsake the law praise the wicked, But those who keep the law strive with them. 5 Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the LORD understand all things. 6 Better is the poor who walks in his integrity Than he who is crooked though he be rich.…"

We are to honor and obey our husbands everywhere we can, except when they disobey or dishonor Christ. Then we are to correct them and do what we need to in order to obey God ourselves, all the while praying for disobedient husbands. We are never to repay evil for evil nor do revenge.

There are those who would say to decline to obey a husband who disobeys God, is sin for the wife who is dedicated to Christ. They would say that she does not love her husband. The Bible teaches the opposite of this, God says that to obey Christ is to love those who disobey. By obeying Christ we set an example to those who walk sinfully while remaining obedient to God ourselves. If we love our husbands we HELP them in all areas including and especially their spiritual life.

1 John 5:2-4 "…2 By this we know that we love the children of God: when we love God and keep His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome, 4 because everyone born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith.…"

It is entirely possible that those women who blindly obey their husband by going out to the bar with them, or attending wicked events or watching filthy pornography films, are either enjoying those events themselves or they are playing the martyr.

If a woman allows her husband to do wicked things without challenge, she is more concerned about elevating herself as the "perfectly obedient" wife than she is concerned about the well-being of her husband and her children. Appearances for her own glory has taken center stage over the welfare of those in her household. In short, she is self righteous, unconcerned about her family and her husband, while being overly prideful about her own goodness as she sees it, but not as God sees.

If we love our husbands we will be their helpmate in guiding them when needed. We are counselors for their good if we love Christ. Those who allow their husbands to make all the decisions whether good or bad are also allowing them to take the brunt of the blame when there is a failure. When we share in the decisions of our husband, no one is to blame, failures do not point to only one person who bares ALL the responsibility. The wife shares in the consequences of decisions, not only to the praise of the couple but also to the correction needed when things don't work out. We are to influence our husbands for righteousness.
There are woman who PRIDE themselves as loving their husbands because they basically say nothing, do nothing and are nothing, leaving all the hard decisions to their husbands so that they get to enjoy a life of freedom from any accountability or responsibility.

When we operate as a team in marriage we bare the consequences of decisions together, no one person takes all the heat for anything that does not go right. No one person in the relationship is burdened with the task of making all the decisions alone without counsel.

Marriage is a partnership of decision making and consequences. When one party in the marriage attempts to take over everything not allowing for the input of the other, it is not a marriage according to God, but a dictatorial narcissistic take over for the purpose of having everything their own way, while demeaning and devaluing their marriage partner.

It is important that we are not confronting every little detail of someone's life, such as a raised voice that doesn't happen often but is a reaction to an inconvenience when someone has a headache. What I am describing as sin that needs to be confronted is blatant continual sin that is damaging to the family and personally damaging to our spouse.

When husband and wife work together for the good of the marriage and the family, there is unity, resolution of problems and restoration when difficulties come. The bottom line in this is that a marriage that works together with mutual love and concern, will blossom, become very close and is unable to be affected by outside sources.

Never allow someone else to define your marriage for you. Each couple has different ways of relating to one another in the details. It's no one else's business.
Those who would attempt to interfere in our marriages must be removed from us, they can do more damage through their covert attempts at controlling emotions and spinning events to undermine what you are building.

Only allow in your lives, those who love you and your marriage, those who would encourage both of you in the way you have chosen to operate.

1 Peter 1:21-23 "21 Through Him you believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and glorified Him; and so your faith and hope are in God. 22 Since you have purified your souls by obedience to the truth, so that you have a genuine love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from a pure heart. 23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.…"

Seek Christ Above All Else

Often we remain with unsaved extended family, using the excuse that we might win them to the Lord when in reality we are fearful of being alone without family.

It is time to pray for discernment, understanding that many family members are not born again, are stubborn and refuse to trust Christ. They are in the camp with those whom God tells us to walk away from.

When we remain while they refuse, it is exercising a lack of faith that God can work on them without us. Often remaining in the lives of unsaved people merely solidifies their comfort with their wicked lifestyle, we are then enablers, and for no other reason except our own fear of being alone, or losing their attentions.

Matthew 10:37-39

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

It is very uncomfortable for us when we begin to realize we are not in agreement with family, that they work against God Whom we serve. We go through loneliness thinking that if they were only with us as we walk with Christ we could be happy. But it isn't true, if they walk with us while we are wanting to walk with Christ, they will undermine our every decision to obey Him, while manipulating and intimidating us to walk their way rather than God's.

There is a tremendous pressure now in the world and extended family members to disobey God to enjoy family. As family continues to walk in rebellion, after their own pleasures and lusts, they keep us in a continual state of turmoil rather than enhancing our walk.

In 2 Timothy 3 God tells us to remove ourselves from those who reject Christ.

Matthew 10:34-37 "“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

1 Corinthians 15:33-34 "33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 34 Sober up as you ought, and stop sinning; for some of you are ignorant of God. I say this to your shame."

We know that evil company corrupts us, all we have to do is watch the way the church has gone in the past 40 years. Many pretenders have come into the church, even unsaved church leaders who bring in worldly doctrine, that have corrupted those who are born again. The weaker believers who are afraid to stand strong for truth, begin to regress in their walk, focused more on being accepted than on a complete commitment to Christ and His principles.

We cannot expect to remain strong while surrounded by ungodly people who have already heard the gospel and reject it.

God Commands Us To Judge

God has commanded us to judge. The mantra that we "should not judge" came from worldly psychology not the Bible.

John 7:24 "24 Stop judging by outward appearances, and START JUDGING justly.”

We are to stop judging things by their appearance. So many people judge something to be right based on how it looks or how it feels. They also judge things as wrong without knowing the details.

God said not to do this, we are to judge based on God's standards. If we refuse to judge, to be accepted or feel happy, then we have disobeyed God. Our judgments must be based on truth and facts.

We are to judge based on real information, not merely what we think we see, but on what we know because we have seen both sides with our own eyes, asked questions and spoken honestly and openly to discern truth.

Far too many people are seeing actions without knowing what those actions mean and making judgments on what they have heard or think they see, rather than on communication while observing all the intricacies of a matter.

Humans tend to judge things as good because they like something someone said, the fact that they are popular or because they are physically beautiful, along with many other attributes, perhaps their musical ability or fame.

No one can judge with scanty information or the testimonies of others without real evidence. We cannot judge based on talents, skills or popularity.

I am reminded of the account of Eli the priest who judged Samuel's mother, Hannah (1 Samuel) as being drunk in the temple, when she was merely crying out to God to give her a child of her own. Eli saw her mouthing words silently, thought she had been drinking too much wine and rebuked her, only to discover she had not been drunk but rather was appealing to God intensely.

How many times have we seen something, being tempted to make a decision about it's status, right or wrong, only to find out later that we did not really understand what was going on. Had we passed that information on to someone else we could have caused great harm to someone's reputation, even turning close friends against one another.

When we do not have all the facts and when what is happening is not our business we can make a choice to ask the details for clarification or leave it alone entirely assuming it is not what it looks like because of our knowledge of the person we are observing.

It is human nature to interpret things as bad, wrong or mean when our perspective is tainted by our dislike for someone. Many times I have seen people being treated badly by those who don't even know the person for which they have contempt, simply because they didn't particularly like the person they were judging and they didn't like them because of what they heard about them. It pleased them to believe something evil.

It is also human nature to interpret things as good, right or happy when we are flattered personally or treated with honor, it is a stumbling block to base our appreciation for someone on how much they elevate or flatter us.

Proverbs 29:5
"A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet."

Proverbs 26:24-28
"Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling. A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin."

Flattery disarms, people can be very charming on the outside and wickedly evil on the inside. We cannot base our assessment of someone on how friendly they are to us.

I can't tell you the number of times someone said to me, about a complete stranger, "that person is really nice." My response has been at times, they were friendly, but we don't know if they are nice, because we don't know their life."

Many church cliques have been guilty of this monster of judging without enough information or information that had been tainted by the dislike of someone else. It is common for people to make superficial and completely wrong judgments because their assessments have been merely a superficial friendliness. It makes for a happy time, but cannot be trusted in developing relationships.

I have also seen people judged because of gossip, with very little information given on the part of someone else who had a bone to pick when there was no credible reason.

When people are corrected for their wrong attitudes or actions, they often give a bad report against the one that rebuked them, feeling justified in that evil report because they perceived the correction as a personal attack. Humble people receive a criticism, pray about it and either make changes to correct their own behavior or they dismiss the criticism as untrue because they have sought truth through prayer and found it to be incorrect, however this does not make them angry at the person who corrects them.

Those who are easily angered by a correction have much pride and must seek God for an attitude adjustment.

Those who would judge must remember to judge God's way according to His principles. In doing this we have to know what His principles are, seeking Him in prayer for truth.

Proverbs 16:17-19 "…17 The highway of the upright is to depart from evil; He who watches his way preserves his life. 18 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling. 19 It is better to be humble in spirit with the lowly Than to divide the spoil with the proud.…"

Who Will You Believe God Or Man

Why do so many sinful attitudes, actions and beliefs continue in the church?

The answer is very simple, most people know that if they correct, in even the mildest terms, they will lose the love and respect of the one they correct and all of those looking on who are made uncomfortable by the exchange, along with the friends of the one corrected.

Fear motivates the silence that has enveloped the church. The only people who get rebuked most often are those who correct wrong doctrine or behavior. Those who live the bad doctrine or sinful behavior are defended and embraced, in the name of love, which is not Biblical love but humanistic and damning friendliness.

Our world is backward, we have all been taught through psychology that it is not nearly as wrong to do evil as it is to correct it.

Does this make any good sense at all? NO, not only does it not make good sense according to human thinking it makes even less sense according to God.

If a bridge designer made plans for a bridge but it was full of error, would it make sense to withhold correction to make the builder "feel" good about himself. Most people who have brains, would say of course not. If we care about the safety of the people who will be crossing that bridge, we instruct the builder to fix those errors, then we have an inspector re-inspect to make sure the modifications are done to insure the safety of every person crossing that bridge.

Why then are we so lazy about correcting wrong doctrine and those who walk in sin? There is only one reason we protect the sinner and go after the corrector, that is that those who protect the sinner do not really believe in the consequences of sin, whether it be God's discipline or the possibility of going to hell.

What we are dealing with today is a lack of faith!!!! Doing things God's way is not followed because most in the church don't really believe God, they have been brainwashed by humanistic psychology, having believed the educators rather than believing God.

Who are you going to believe, God or man?

Fear God or Fear Man

You will fear someone, it can either be man or it can be God.
Psalm 39:7-8
"7"And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You. 8"Deliver me from all my transgressions; Make me not the reproach of the foolish."

It is not in any person that we place our trust or faith, but in Christ Jesus alone.

When we find ourselves walking on egg shells around someone, worried that they may not approve of us, then we have made them our god.

If we are going to fear anyone, it ought to be God not man.

WHAT THE FEAR OF GOD BRINGS:

Psalm 112:1
"Praise the LORD! How blessed is the man who fears the LORD, Who greatly delights in His commandments."

Psalm 115:13
"He will bless those who fear the LORD, The small together with the great."

Psalm 128:1-4
"How blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, Who walks in His ways. When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands, You will be happy and it will be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine Within your house, Your children like olive plants Around your table.
Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the LORD."

WHAT THE FEAR OF MAN BRINGS:

Proverbs 29:25-26
" 25 The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted. 26 Many seek the ruler's favor, But justice for man comes from the LORD.…"

We can choose to fear man and walk around terrified we might be rejected at the slightest miss-step or we can fear God and be confident that He will guide and cleanse us as needed.

Truth Tellers Maligned

I know many Christians who never say anything controversial except when they know someone will agree. They never rebuke, they never correct, they remain "likeable" to everyone. They basically say nothing, do nothing and be nothing, to be accepted by their families and the community.

They have lots of friends, but never move forward in spiritual growth and never influence anyone's life for Christ.

A truth teller comes along to make good sense of things and they are demeaned, rejected and avoided. 

We are living in difficult times, most people are dedicated to being appreciated, elevated and loved far more than they are to Christ and His principles as commanded in His Word.

Those who endure to the end are those who were authentic born again believers. They endured because they were changed into a new creation by Christ and indwelt with the Holy Spirit as the guarantee of their inheritance.

Ephesians 1:13-14
"13 In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise,
14 who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory."

Matthew 10:22 "…21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next. Truly I tell you, you will not reach all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.…"

Proverbs 29:27
"An unjust man is abominable to the righteous, And he who is upright in the way is abominable to the wicked."

Isaiah 66:5
"Hear the word of the LORD, you who tremble at His word: "Your brothers who hate you, who exclude you for My name's sake, Have said, 'Let the LORD be glorified, that we may see your joy.' But they will be put to shame."

Mark 13:13 "13You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved."