Friday, September 25, 2015
The Golden Parent and the Scapegoat Parent
The narcissistic child who has a "golden parent" and a "scapegoat parent." The golden parent can do no wrong, there is interest in all that the golden parent is doing and no interest but only contempt for the scapegoat parent.
The golden parent is often the one who gave the narcissist everything they wanted, praised them continually and almost never corrected them.
The scapegoat parent is the one that set rules and boundaries. The scapegoat parent was continually disregarded in the rules by the other parent and the narcissist child.
Since narcissist is all about "themselves" all the time, it makes sense that they would choose the person who gave them everything they wanted while treating them like gods.
The scapegoat parent is continually mocked, ignored and demeaned at every opportunity while the golden parent is praised, appreciated and sought out for energy and narcissistic supply.
I have noticed that often there are several narcissists in a family, when one narcissist dominates over the family, they also bring alongside others who emulate them. There are entire families of narcissists who feed off of one another, while employing flying monkeys who believe everything they say and do. By "do" I mean that the kind deeds of the narc are done for self entirely. Those watching will believe their deeds are loving and kind, but those who are their targets know their gifts and good deeds are manipulation because the target is treated with contempt on a regular basis all other times.
Because there is false humility and a false persona that is demonstrated by the narcissist, he/she seeks to win converts to themselves through meaningless competition. They desire to appear better in every way, than all those who do not walk under their cloud of control.
The narcissists must win at all costs while demonstrating contempt and hatred for anyone who will not elevate them. Anyone who sees them for what they are, realizing they are manipulators and intimidators for their own glory, will be a target for the narcissist.
God tells us all about these people, they are called many things in the Word of God, 2 Timothy 3 shows us their nature and intent. God tells us to stay away from them.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Many of these people are in the church today, claiming to be grandiose persons of faith, through their false persona, they fool many people who either lack discernment or have been kept at a distance so as not to be able to get to know them up close and personal.
Luke 12:1-3 "
12 Under these circumstances, after so many thousands of people had gathered together that they were stepping on one another, He began saying to His disciples first of all, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. 2 But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. 3 Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed upon the housetops."
The only people who will know the character of the narcissist are those who have corrected or disagreed with them at some point, these are the narcs targets and God.
There is absolutely no tolerance for correction, rebuke or admonition with the narcissist, since their character in their own minds is "godlike", they will not entertain any idea that they need work in their attitudes and actions.
Romans 5:1-5 "
5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, [a]we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Those who will not listen to correction will regress in their growth if they are believers, or their rebellion may be an indication that they have never been born again. For the believer there will be God's discipline when we will not accept correction, for the non-believer there is hell awaiting those who refuse Christ.
Hebrews 12:1-11 "
5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
When we resist God's discipline, bailing out of everything that could grow us, we will remain spiritual babies. It is only when we as believers seek to be shown our faults and shortcomings, that we can grow in holiness.
Psalm 19:12 " 12Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults. 13Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me; Then I will be blameless, And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.…"
For those who refuse to hear the truth about their sin, this passage in Matthew may be speaking about you, it is worth your time to read it, ask God if it is you and pray to be born again, so that you will not end up in this condition;
Matthew 7:21-23 "
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
The golden parent is often the one who gave the narcissist everything they wanted, praised them continually and almost never corrected them.
The scapegoat parent is the one that set rules and boundaries. The scapegoat parent was continually disregarded in the rules by the other parent and the narcissist child.
Since narcissist is all about "themselves" all the time, it makes sense that they would choose the person who gave them everything they wanted while treating them like gods.
The scapegoat parent is continually mocked, ignored and demeaned at every opportunity while the golden parent is praised, appreciated and sought out for energy and narcissistic supply.
I have noticed that often there are several narcissists in a family, when one narcissist dominates over the family, they also bring alongside others who emulate them. There are entire families of narcissists who feed off of one another, while employing flying monkeys who believe everything they say and do. By "do" I mean that the kind deeds of the narc are done for self entirely. Those watching will believe their deeds are loving and kind, but those who are their targets know their gifts and good deeds are manipulation because the target is treated with contempt on a regular basis all other times.
Because there is false humility and a false persona that is demonstrated by the narcissist, he/she seeks to win converts to themselves through meaningless competition. They desire to appear better in every way, than all those who do not walk under their cloud of control.
The narcissists must win at all costs while demonstrating contempt and hatred for anyone who will not elevate them. Anyone who sees them for what they are, realizing they are manipulators and intimidators for their own glory, will be a target for the narcissist.
God tells us all about these people, they are called many things in the Word of God, 2 Timothy 3 shows us their nature and intent. God tells us to stay away from them.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Many of these people are in the church today, claiming to be grandiose persons of faith, through their false persona, they fool many people who either lack discernment or have been kept at a distance so as not to be able to get to know them up close and personal.
Luke 12:1-3 "
12 Under these circumstances, after so many thousands of people had gathered together that they were stepping on one another, He began saying to His disciples first of all, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. 2 But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. 3 Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed upon the housetops."
The only people who will know the character of the narcissist are those who have corrected or disagreed with them at some point, these are the narcs targets and God.
There is absolutely no tolerance for correction, rebuke or admonition with the narcissist, since their character in their own minds is "godlike", they will not entertain any idea that they need work in their attitudes and actions.
Romans 5:1-5 "
5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, [a]we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Those who will not listen to correction will regress in their growth if they are believers, or their rebellion may be an indication that they have never been born again. For the believer there will be God's discipline when we will not accept correction, for the non-believer there is hell awaiting those who refuse Christ.
Hebrews 12:1-11 "
5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
When we resist God's discipline, bailing out of everything that could grow us, we will remain spiritual babies. It is only when we as believers seek to be shown our faults and shortcomings, that we can grow in holiness.
Psalm 19:12 " 12Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults. 13Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me; Then I will be blameless, And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.…"
For those who refuse to hear the truth about their sin, this passage in Matthew may be speaking about you, it is worth your time to read it, ask God if it is you and pray to be born again, so that you will not end up in this condition;
Matthew 7:21-23 "
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
Thursday, September 24, 2015
No Bandwagons, Only Christ
There are so many people who feel a need to get on someone else's band wagon. They seem to need heroes to motivate them, attaching themselves, perhaps hoping some of their greatness will rub off on them.
They lack contentment with just speaking truth and living it themselves. There appears to be a compulsion to find someone other than God with which to engage in "hero worship." Is it possible when we name drop a name to appear in line with a famous human being, we are deriving a sense of specialness for ourselves from their presence in our minds and in the minds of others?
Idols seem to be a common occurrence in modern Christendom. Many believers think they have no idols, but speak often of the great words or deeds of others as though a deed or words make the person special or godly. Notice too that these same people will devote an inordinate amount of time appreciating an unsaved person's stand on something, while neglecting entirely to jump on the wagon of someone who preaches Christ.
The "cause" is paramount in the minds of many people, Christ is almost irrelevant, as long as there is agreement about the cause. When we celebrate the stand of a person who believes Christ was not Who He was, then we validate the religion of that person, causes become more important than Christ.
Acts 16:16-18 "16 It happened that as we were going to the place of prayer, a slave-girl having a spirit of divination met us, who was bringing her masters much profit by fortune-telling. 17 Following after Paul and us, she kept crying out, saying, “These men are bond-servants of the Most High God, who are proclaiming to you the way of salvation.” 18 She continued doing this for many days. But Paul was greatly annoyed, and turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her!” And it came out at that very moment."
Paul did not want a demon possessed person following them around telling people they were of God, when she was herself demon possessed, it gave credibility to the demon controlled girl. Thankfully she was delivered from the demons.
Is it possible that borrowing the fame, good deeds and words of others makes us feel as though we did those things ourselves? Sort of fame by proxy?
Right now we are seeing idols in the making, celebrating people who not only have wrong doctrine but blasphemous doctrine, because we happen to agree with them on one social cause.
To make an alliance with someone who negates the person and work of Christ, is to have an unholy alliance, it negates Christ for no other purpose than to feel important ourselves.
1 Corinthians 2:15-16 "14 But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15 But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. 16 For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ."
1 Timothy 6:20 "20 O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge”—"
I am only glad about a public stand made when it is by an Holy Spirit filled born again believer. I might share the gospel with the false Christian but I would not join ranks with them in any cause.
They lack contentment with just speaking truth and living it themselves. There appears to be a compulsion to find someone other than God with which to engage in "hero worship." Is it possible when we name drop a name to appear in line with a famous human being, we are deriving a sense of specialness for ourselves from their presence in our minds and in the minds of others?
Idols seem to be a common occurrence in modern Christendom. Many believers think they have no idols, but speak often of the great words or deeds of others as though a deed or words make the person special or godly. Notice too that these same people will devote an inordinate amount of time appreciating an unsaved person's stand on something, while neglecting entirely to jump on the wagon of someone who preaches Christ.
The "cause" is paramount in the minds of many people, Christ is almost irrelevant, as long as there is agreement about the cause. When we celebrate the stand of a person who believes Christ was not Who He was, then we validate the religion of that person, causes become more important than Christ.
Acts 16:16-18 "16 It happened that as we were going to the place of prayer, a slave-girl having a spirit of divination met us, who was bringing her masters much profit by fortune-telling. 17 Following after Paul and us, she kept crying out, saying, “These men are bond-servants of the Most High God, who are proclaiming to you the way of salvation.” 18 She continued doing this for many days. But Paul was greatly annoyed, and turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her!” And it came out at that very moment."
Paul did not want a demon possessed person following them around telling people they were of God, when she was herself demon possessed, it gave credibility to the demon controlled girl. Thankfully she was delivered from the demons.
Is it possible that borrowing the fame, good deeds and words of others makes us feel as though we did those things ourselves? Sort of fame by proxy?
Right now we are seeing idols in the making, celebrating people who not only have wrong doctrine but blasphemous doctrine, because we happen to agree with them on one social cause.
To make an alliance with someone who negates the person and work of Christ, is to have an unholy alliance, it negates Christ for no other purpose than to feel important ourselves.
1 Corinthians 2:15-16 "14 But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15 But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. 16 For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ."
1 Timothy 6:20 "20 O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge”—"
I am only glad about a public stand made when it is by an Holy Spirit filled born again believer. I might share the gospel with the false Christian but I would not join ranks with them in any cause.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
God Uses The Nothing Things
Often I think of how God used the nothing things to bring His greatest work. Christ, His Son, born in a nothing town, raised by nothing parents, little money and no prestige, to die a lonely death on an ugly cross. But......He was raised a King, offers forgiveness of sins, dwells in those who love Him, will come back as the all powerful King to rule on earth.
Whenever we are tempted to feel down and lonely, just remember how lonely Christ felt when the world He created, r...ejected Him.
Matthew 21:42 "Jesus said to them, "Did you never read in the Scriptures, 'THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE CHIEF CORNER stone; THIS CAME ABOUT FROM THE LORD, AND IT IS MARVELOUS IN OUR EYES '?"
Isaiah 53
1 Awake, awake; put on thy strength, O Zion; put on thy beautiful garments, O Jerusalem, the holy city: for henceforth there shall no more come into thee the uncircumcised and the unclean.2 Shake thyself from the dust; arise, and sit down, O Jerusalem: loose thyself from the bands of thy neck, O captive daughter of Zion.
3 For thus saith the Lord, Ye have sold yourselves for nought; and ye shall be redeemed without money.4 For thus saith the Lord God, My people went down aforetime into Egypt to sojourn there; and the Assyrian oppressed them without cause.
5 Now therefore, what have I here, saith the Lord, that my people is taken away for nought? they that rule over them make them to howl, saith the Lord; and my name continually every day is blasphemed.
Whenever we are tempted to feel down and lonely, just remember how lonely Christ felt when the world He created, r...ejected Him.
Matthew 21:42 "Jesus said to them, "Did you never read in the Scriptures, 'THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE CHIEF CORNER stone; THIS CAME ABOUT FROM THE LORD, AND IT IS MARVELOUS IN OUR EYES '?"
Isaiah 53
1 Awake, awake; put on thy strength, O Zion; put on thy beautiful garments, O Jerusalem, the holy city: for henceforth there shall no more come into thee the uncircumcised and the unclean.2 Shake thyself from the dust; arise, and sit down, O Jerusalem: loose thyself from the bands of thy neck, O captive daughter of Zion.
3 For thus saith the Lord, Ye have sold yourselves for nought; and ye shall be redeemed without money.4 For thus saith the Lord God, My people went down aforetime into Egypt to sojourn there; and the Assyrian oppressed them without cause.
5 Now therefore, what have I here, saith the Lord, that my people is taken away for nought? they that rule over them make them to howl, saith the Lord; and my name continually every day is blasphemed.
6 Therefore my people shall know my name: therefore they shall know in that day that I am he that doth speak: behold, it is I.
7 How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!
8 Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice; with the voice together shall they sing: for they shall see eye to eye, when the Lord shall bring again Zion.
9 Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem: for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem.
10 The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.
11 Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the Lord.
12 For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the Lord will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your reward.
13 Behold, my servant shall deal prudently, he shall be exalted and extolled, and be very high.
14 As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men:
15 So shall he sprinkle many nations; the kings shall shut their mouths at him: for that which had not been told them shall they see; and that which they had not heard shall they consider.
King James Version (KJV)
8 Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice; with the voice together shall they sing: for they shall see eye to eye, when the Lord shall bring again Zion.
9 Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem: for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem.
10 The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.
11 Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the Lord.
12 For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the Lord will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your reward.
13 Behold, my servant shall deal prudently, he shall be exalted and extolled, and be very high.
14 As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men:
15 So shall he sprinkle many nations; the kings shall shut their mouths at him: for that which had not been told them shall they see; and that which they had not heard shall they consider.
King James Version (KJV)
Friday, September 18, 2015
The Election is a Great Big Joke
O.K. lets discuss "Trump." LOL, I have to believe he is the ringer placed in the political fight to distract people from taking the election seriously. He is bombasitc, rude, arrogant entertaining and inconsistent.
I am watching news about the elections just to have a good laugh. Imagine if he were to get elected, entertaining the president of another country in the oval office, making comments about the face of that guest leaders wife.
So many things he says are outrageous for any "diplomat" to be speaking. Graciousness and demeanor is out the window with this cartoon character. I would hope he gets elected just to give us four years of laughs.
Since the good men cannot get elected and the others are all the same, not to be trusted, we might as well be entertained.
Something just isn't right in this election, it all seems like a bad stage production put on my a comedy team.
Has anyone noticed a lot more smiling and laughing, as though the whole matter of the presidency is a joke?
Somethings up, I don't know what. Call me crazy, but somethings up!
I am watching news about the elections just to have a good laugh. Imagine if he were to get elected, entertaining the president of another country in the oval office, making comments about the face of that guest leaders wife.
So many things he says are outrageous for any "diplomat" to be speaking. Graciousness and demeanor is out the window with this cartoon character. I would hope he gets elected just to give us four years of laughs.
Since the good men cannot get elected and the others are all the same, not to be trusted, we might as well be entertained.
Something just isn't right in this election, it all seems like a bad stage production put on my a comedy team.
Has anyone noticed a lot more smiling and laughing, as though the whole matter of the presidency is a joke?
Somethings up, I don't know what. Call me crazy, but somethings up!
Prayer Doesn't Work, God Does!
Sometimes we interpret what we see in films in terms of what we already believe rather than what was meant. A lot of people these days have faith in faith instead of faith in Christ. That's why movies can be dangerous, we miss things because of emotion.
Often people say "prayer works", but I like to retort, "prayer doesn't work, God works."
Even non-believers tell people they will pray for them, but it means nothing, they almost never do and if they do they don't know who they are praying too, into the wind I think.
We live in a culture now that believes all we have to do is say something and that will make it happen, the power of words.
It matters who we pray to and whether or not we are right with God.
“And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood” (Isaiah 1:15).
Many people who don't love God, don't pray to Him, but speak into the air to hear their own voices, are not being heard and have no power.
Often people say "prayer works", but I like to retort, "prayer doesn't work, God works."
Even non-believers tell people they will pray for them, but it means nothing, they almost never do and if they do they don't know who they are praying too, into the wind I think.
We live in a culture now that believes all we have to do is say something and that will make it happen, the power of words.
It matters who we pray to and whether or not we are right with God.
“And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood” (Isaiah 1:15).
Many people who don't love God, don't pray to Him, but speak into the air to hear their own voices, are not being heard and have no power.
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