I saw a video a couple of years ago about parents lying to the their children, telling them they ate all their Halloween candy. The children were crying, having tantrums and being disrespectful while the parents stood by laughing.
I know that most people will think this is overkill. But what is behind the mentality that likes to watch a child in distress, crying and feeling frustrated?
How would we as women feel if our husbands and children were laughing at us when we were crying over a matter that we felt deeply about.
Matthew 7:12 ""In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."
Let's take a look at what the parent had to do to accomplish their form of entertainment in the case of the Halloween candy.
In the case of the Halloween candy, the parents had to lie to the children, laugh when they erupted in tantrum, even fierce anger and return the candy to them after the tantrum.
These parents taught their children by example that it was alright to lie to someone, upsetting them deliberately for their own entertainment. They taught them to have tantrums by rewarding them with the returned candy after having a tantrum. They set their children up for failure and punishment.
I have seen this down through the years, a father taking away a basket ball from his child just to watch him cry, while mocking the child for crying. These may seem like small matters to many people, but God wants our children to trust us, obey our commands and follow our example. When we act like children ourselves, taunting our children as a bully would do, they will become bitter and angry, even completely rebellious because they cannot respect a parent who deliberately frustrates them.
When we lie to our children, mock them and treat them with contempt, they will learn to do it to others. And they will learn to do it to their parents when they are adults. There is a old saying;; "more is caught than taught." What we do has a greater impact on our children than what we say. A child will watch and imitate what we do while minimizing what we say.
Children also feel a sense of contempt for parents who act like hypocrites.
When children feel angry at the foolishness of their parent, they are not likely to take them seriously in the rearing process.
We do tease our children from time to time, it is not bad to tease but mocking and taunting is another matter entirely. The Halloween video crossed the line from mere innocent teasing to harsh mocking. A child who experiences this feels devalued, defrauded even hated by their parents.
God says;
Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Colossians 3:21 "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."
When we do not treat our children with respect, we discourage them, when there is no good reason to do so. Even dismissing them by ignoring them, can cause these same feelings of sadness in children. Children are not equipped yet to learn how to handle feelings, in most cases they stuff them or let them fly, never feeling a resolution to them.
Setting up a child for failure is the aim of those who mock to feel control over a child. When we mock a child, we are deliberately setting them up for heartache.
There is a time for love in the form of discipline and rebuke, these things are far different from mocking for personal entertainment. They are for the purpose of training in righteousness, that the child become equipped as a future man or woman of the Lord.
Building a child into a man or woman is hard work, lots of encouragement, discipline and instruction, that must build confidence in them, not pride. A child who is neglected or mocked will turn to the world for his validation rather than God. A child who is mocked will become bitter in his soul, turning his back on whatever his parents taught him as a way of escaping the pain he felt through discouragement. Pride will overtake a child as he attempts to quench the horrible rejection he feels when mocked or ridiculed. Pride is the result because it is a coping mechanism.
Believe me, the world will give a sinning child plenty of encouragement and validation, no matter how sinful he is. Do we want to foster anger and bitterness or do we want to foster love and kindness. Children will choose the world over their parents even in good homes, let's not give them an excuse by our actions and attitudes.
Did you realize that ignoring a person is the same as saying "you have no value in my life?" Many parents ignore their children and then get angry when their child has no interest in them or their commands. Dismissiveness can be just as destructive as mocking and ridicule.
Preferring one child over another because of personality traits, is sin. Mocking or ignoring a child is never acceptable.
Time out is the most destructive mechanism used today, banishing a child to his room to punish him only makes him feel devalued, multiplying his anger. It is better to spank him and allow him to continue with the family than to isolate him from the love in the family. Time out is a way of saying "we don't love you anymore, be gone."
God told us to use the rod to show the importance of obedience, He knows better than we do what is needed.
Proverbs 20:30 "The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly."
When we love our children we will spank them when necessary, instruct them constantly, but never devalue them through banishment or mocking.
Do you want your children to follow Christ? If so then you must follow Him, that is the best teacher of all!
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