Thank you notes are very important, at least a call to show gratefulness, when we receive a gift from someone.
Whenever I receive a gift, I say thank you. However, when the person giving it tells me where to put it in my house, or whether or not you can paint it when you tire of the color, then the gift is not really yours, it belongs to the giver, they want to hold onto it, have power over you through it, making the gift not really a gift at all.
This has happened to me more than once. One time I was given a chair for my house. I am a decorator of sorts, constantly coordinating things, fixing up, recovering and painting. This person who gave me the gift, knew this about me, her instruction to me was that I couldn't do anything to change the chair.
The chair was a nice style but the fabric was ugly, worn and dirty. I like to improve things, this person also knew that about me, which is why she felt a need to instruct me as to my actions with the chair.
I politely declined the chair because often I forget things and might change the chair forgetting about the agreement. So I thanked the woman for the offer, but told her that I didn't want to accidently hurt her by doing something when I had forgotten.
She then offered the chair with no strings, I took it, changed it and she gossiped that I had changed it. UGH!!!!! From that time on, I do not take gifts with conditions attached. I wondered if she did that to have a way of discrediting me to others. It also led to a distrust for her and a distant relationship. To give a gift with conditions and expectations is a way of lending it, never letting go, but retaining ownership over it, then it is not a gift at all but rather a burden. Gossiping about the "misuse" of the gift is a way of taking that gift back.
When we give a gift we should forget about it, care not one wit what happens to it after that. If we have truly given then we have no strings or expectations for the use of it. We can even praise the person for the new change if they change what we gave them because we are happy that they used it the way that pleased them.
Why do we hang onto a gift we give to someone else, as though it were more akin to lending, than it is really giving? I suspect that one who does this is not giving to please the person who receives the gift, but to please themselves, feeling a sense of pride over having given the gift, more than desiring pleasure for the receiver.
Christ never "lent" our salvation to us with the expectation that if we mess up or displease Him, He will come and get His gift back. His gift is immediate upon our desire to be changed into a new creation by Him. He already knows we do not have the ability in our flesh to be anything good, so He sends His Son to live in us as our righteousness.
Christ gave us a gift that required the shedding of His blood, he cared so deeply about us that He was willing to give the most precious thing He could give and that was His life.
He alone gets the glory, He does the work and we are the joyful recipients of this marvelous gift. He changes us through sanctification throughout our lives, while caring deeply about us.
Unlike the burdensome offer of a gift with strings, that we cannot completely adhere to, Christ offers a permanent gift, a gift that required His very life for which to pay the price. He gets the glory because He is God, creator and deserves all praise and glory.
And, He never takes back His gift!
Ephesians 2:8 "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;"
Romans 11:29 "for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."
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