Manipulating others through covert maneuvers shows the inner heart of a person who wants to control rather than bless others. When we do things to people in order to force them to do things our way, then we are selfish lacking a servants heart.
As believers, all that we do, should be out of concern for the well being of those in our life. Nothing else should motivate us except blessing those around us with truth, seeking their good and their desires.
When we have a relationship it should be based on "working out" the matters of life together, this requires communication and concern. When one person seeks to continually have their own way without regard for their spouse, it is hurtful and damaging to the relationship. God never intended for a marriage to be one party getting all they want their way, without regard for the other person.
1 Peter 3:7 "You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."
To completely ignore or disregard the desires and feelings of our spouse is to tell them they don't matter or are not worthy of respect and honor. When a spouse gets this message they become discouraged in the relationships and lose trust for their spouse.
It has been my observation recently that many people are experiencing interlopers who attempt to poke their noses into the marriages of others because of their idolization of one person in the marriage while showing contempt for the other. This favoritism is devilish, it seeks to undermine the marriage for the sake of diverting attention from the spouse to the interloper.
I have heard of such a case, where those who interfere in the marriage, attempt to influence the easily manipulated target for their own desires, while covertly picking on the spouse for their own gain.
When we see this happening we need to remove those nosy parkers from our life to protect the marriage. These people target the easily manipulated spouse to make decisions without their husband or wife. The goal of the narcissists who do this is to turn the one spouse against the other so they can maintain control over the marriage.
NO ONE outside a marriage should be allowed to remain in a friendship with a couple who are using these methods to undermine a marriage.
2 Thessalonians 3:11 "For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like BUSYBODIES."
1 Timothy 5:13 "Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not."
1 Thessalonians 4:11 "And to aspire to live quietly, and to MIND YOUR OWN AFFAIRS, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,"
Proverbs 20:3 "It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling."
Leviticus 19:16 "You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord."
I think we have sufficient evidence from the word to show that judging someone else's marriage while attempting to interfere by influencing one person against another is sin. Those who recognize the culprits must stand against them to protect the marriage.
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