1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
If we are not sorry, we are not forgiven, but if we have been broken and confessed, then God cleansed us, it's over, we have forsaken it, we can move on with a clear conscience.
If we are in contact with people who want to hold forgiven sins against us, then we need to explain that we have confessed, were forgiven and cleansed, and then move on if they continue to hold grudges about things that didn't even have to do with them. Sometimes relatives and acquaintances enjoy their skewed view of our previous life, they love to treat us in ways that elevate themselves and demean us. Those are the people that we need to put out of our lives, they bring no good thing to the relationship and even hinder our walk with the Lord.
I have met people who heard rumors about others, based on sins from many years ago, who hold those rumors against their target. Remember if something is a rumor, if we do not see it first hand, then we need to take it with a grain of salt, knowing that God changes people. The people we look down upon for rumored sins, may not have done the sin, the perspective of the person who repeated the sin, may have been flawed or the person gossiped about may have become born again and cleansed of the very sin others want to continue to hold against them.
If we love someone and we hear about a sin, we need to go to that person asking them to explain. If we do not go and clear it up, then we are choosing to believe something we are not even sure is accurate, this is not love. Those who want to believe evil about others without proof are evil themselves. If we did not see the sin and there is no evidence now that they are in that sin, then we need to dismiss it as gossip and continue as though it never was.
Gossip is not sharing what we know based on our own experience, Gossip is repeating something we never saw for ourselves based on what others have said. Repeating what we have not seen or heard for ourselves is often embellished and inaccurate, not to mention damaging to the reputations of those who were gossiped about.
Proverbs 20:19
"He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip."
Ephesians 4:29 "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hearer."
Proverbs 16:28 "A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends."
Those who love to believe evil about others when they have been forgiven by God, He calls "perverse." Hatred and jealousy are at the root of the "destroy and conquer" mentality of the wicked. Often what others "think they see" is not at all what happened.
1Corinthians 13:4
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it his not arrogant."
James 3:14-15
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic."
Our goal as believers ought to be to find out truth, believing what we did not see without evidence is a blatant and perverse form of murder. God says if we so much as hate our brother we have committed murder. To malign and destroy a person's reputation based on no evidence is hatred and the same as murder, the intentions to destroy them is murder.
1 John 3:15 "Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."
The best friends to have are those who love us so much that they will choose not to believe gossip about us. If they see evidence that the gossip might be true, then those friends will come to us for an explanation. Those who refuse to communicate with the victim of gossip have hate and murder in their hearts.
May we be people who want truth while disdaining groundless and malicious gossip.
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