Narcissists having love, threatens their control over you! They cannot allow themselves to be influenced by or being vulnerable to others through, being loved by someone else or giving love to someone else.
When we love someone we are at their mercy in a sense. When we give love we are vulnerable to rejection.
The easiest thing to do, is not to show love or receive love. In the mind of the narcissist this is the safest place to be.
The very thing they would like to have is love, but they chase away anyone that might bring it to them in order to keep from being accountable to them or influenced by them.
A narcissist would rather be feared and revered than loved. They do not want to show love to anyone else because that allows the person they love a measure of power.
I have seen this many times in my life. The closer someone tries to get to the narcissist the greater the push back to chase the one who loves, away. Tenderness, kindness and empathy are uncomfortable for the narcissist, they prefer worship and fear.
Often the narcissist will "love bomb" when they see someone beginning to leave them. This means they will come back with gifts or flattery for a time to draw us back in, only to resume their old tactics when they feel secure again in the friendship.
We need to continue to pray for wisdom when we have to be around these people. Sometimes God says to remain in their company and other times we are told to walk away and leave them to God. Of course if they are dangerous then we are to leave for our own safety.
More often than not, these people are dangerous to our relationships, they have the ability to destroy our relationships with others by their lies against us.
Let's remember though, if we lose a friend because of the evil of the narcissist, then perhaps God chased away someone who was not really a friend to begin with, a true friend who knows us will not believe the lies of the narcissist.
Proverbs 18:24 "24 A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
We don't need a lot of friends, that usually leads to superficiality and pride. We can have many acquaintances that we enjoy, but one close friend is all anyone needs. If we are alone because of our dedication to Christ, then He can be that best friend.
John 15:14-16 "…14 You are My friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will remain—so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give you.…"
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