What to do with a Hardened Person

This was my response to a sister who wanted to hear hope for those that have hardened hearts.

Here is the comment I made to her:

It seems that the only way a hardened heart can be softened again is through very devastating events that show them their own heart and helplessness. Let us not be the ones to continue to make them feel comfortable in their sin, even empowering them by accepting their behavior as though it is normal.

John 12:39-40
"Therefore they could not believe. For again Isaiah said, “He has blinded their eyes and hardened their heart, lest they see with their eyes, and understand with their heart, and turn, and I would heal them.”

The warning is there to prevent those whose hearts are not yet hardened and to ask ourselves if we have one of those hearts. However there is always hope that God will do something to soften a heart.

Romans 9:18
"So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills."

Acts 3:19
"Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,"

Ephesians 2:3
"Among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind."

Often we have to let go of the frustration we feel when we see loved ones seemingly too hard to reach. We have no idea what is going on in their hearts. It is possible that the anger of the hardened person is the evidence that they are convicted and that one day they will get tired of being so angry all the time.

I have seen it happen, someone who was resistant seemingly unreachable, began to see the folly of their arrogance and stubbornness. Eventually life catches up with us, some sooner than others. Sometimes it takes years and even old age for some to realize they need Christ.

My focus has to be Christ, if someone does not want to walk the walk with me, then I have to let them go and leave them to God. There remains a smidgen of hope within me, but I do not dwell on it everyday, even being able to carry on my life without them in joy and peace.

Sometimes it takes years to get to the point of letting go, perhaps the sin in our loved one is so great that they become worse as they age, making it easier to let go.

Personally, our life is much more peaceful without these people who bring constant drama and grief to our lives. Once we let go the joy and peace returns and in full measure.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 shows us that God not only gives us permission to walk away, but commands us to get away from them.

1 Corinthians 5:13 "…12 What business of mine is it to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.”

The encouragement is not in everything becoming as we would like, but in knowing that we can move on, become closer to Christ while possessing more joy and peace if we remove them from our lives.

Having said that, we don't have to ignore them on the street, be mean to them if they drop by, or do anything that would leave us guilty of unkindness. We just don't make them a part of our everyday lives anymore. We have not chosen this route, they have chosen it by their continual attitudes and actions that dishonor God.