Funny how we can look back at the way we used to think based on how we were raised.
My husband having been raised in a family of fifteen children, had very different ideas about how a household was run than I did having been raised as the youngest in a household of only three children.
Our first home was a 19 foot travel trailer loaned to us by Rodger's Father. After we got married I moved into the trailer with Rodger ready and excited about starting our new home. It was very small but to me that didn't matter, I was ready to become the manager of our little space.
Upon moving in, I began to move things around to make room for my personal items, which were not much. Rodger had the habit of putting his socks under the bed in a box, all through his growing years that's how it was done because the family was too poor to have dressers for everyone.
Rodger never thought of his family as poor, he just thought this was normal life for everyone since they had all their needs met and a little more.
There were four drawers in the hallway of this tiny trailer, I chose one of them to be the drawer for the socks and underwear. As I was taking the socks from the dust bunny filled box that Rodger had been keeping them in, he approached me and asked why I was putting socks in a drawer. I told him that in my house growing up that's where socks went.
He was shocked at that, he said; "we can't put them there", I asked why. He said; "socks go in a box under the bed." I would have been alright with that except it didn't make sense, when there was a free empty drawer available. I asked him if it would be alright since the drawer would be empty anyway, why not use it and leave space under the bed for something else. He agreed, the socks went into the drawer and have been in a drawer ever since and nothing ever goes under the bed in our house. LOL
Marriage takes compromise and understanding. When we fail to understand and an argument ensues, then we must be ready to ask forgiveness, move on to do things differently from what caused the argument in the first place. Every conflict can be a growing spurt that changes our character into what God would want.
Divorces happen because someone refuses to bend a little, work to understand or are unable to admit when they are wrong. All relationships that are broken have failed in these areas, mending means admitting! In other words, humility is required, as long as pride is present there can be no reconciliation nor can there be growth.
It did help for both of us to be raised in families where the parents stayed together all their lives, no divorce and no remarriage. It set an example for us, though not perfect, the sense of remaining together as one was deeply embedded in our thinking. After becoming born again that thinking grew even more a part of who we are today.
2 Peter 3:18 "18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."
Don't let the devil win in his quest to destroy your family. Fight for your family, do it in prayer, do it by words of truth and do it by refusing to allow emotions dictate your actions.
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