However, we should not base our actions on feelings because they are not accurate. Sometimes they make us think things are bad when they are good, or that they are good when they are bad.
Feelings can be very inaccurate, we need to evaluate the situation that brought on the feelings, to see if the feelings are coming from the standpoint of reality. Feelings are nothing more than an automatic response to our perception, they need to be addressed while analyzing the actual events.
"This is how I feel, and this is what actually happened."
The devil wants nothing more than to accuse and diminish his targets. The more we agonize over not being loved by man, the less effective we can be for Christ. We may even sin to relieve the pain or lash out to stop the abuse. The devil knows our frailties, but Christ is our strength.
Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."
There have been many times narcissists make us feel as though we were stupid for doing something kind. We "feel bad", that perhaps we were just a stupid person, it is not at all accurate. The reality of the situation is that others manipulate our perception to demean us, fostering a sense of worthlessness in us, it is their tactic in an attempt to control us. Somehow narcissists feel superior when they can make others inferior.
There have also been times when our association with narcissists would leave us feeling small or insignificant, the goal for them was to make sure we knew we were nothing in their eyes.
The feeling of insignificance is not accurate, it is merely an inner reaction to the gaslighting of the narcissist. The attempt on their part to guilt us into thinking we were insane, to stop our resolve in exposing evil or enlighten with the truth.
When we have given a gift, a narcissist will minimize that gift to create feelings of foolishness in us, our feeling of worthlessness or foolishness is only a reaction to their evil tactic, it is not truth.
When we focus on "facts" rather than the feelings, the narcissist no longer has power over us. When a narcissist attempts to show us our worthlessness by non-responsiveness or the silent treatment, we can assign those indulgences of theirs to the actions of a five year old having a tantrum, it has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with their own infantile purpose of hurting the one they wish to control.
When we allow Christ to control us, the narcissist will have no power over us, they will destroy relationships, but they cannot destroy us.
Proverbs 28:1-2 "1 The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, But the righteous are bold as a lion. 2 By the transgression of a land many are its princes, But by a man of understanding and knowledge, so it endures.…"
Expect these covert and even overt tactics frequently as we move through these end times of rebellion and contempt for Christians. The hatred toward believers is ramping up, the more we want to honor Christ, the worse narcissists will become.
When we have found ourselves goaded into responding badly, don't beat yourself up, confess it to God and continue to stand your ground. Narcissists love nothing better than to cause us to sin, leaving us guilty, it causes glee in them. It also causes them to become worse, when they see that they were able to get us to do the very things we hate to do, that is respond in kind.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Why do we avoid the narcissist as described in 2 Timothy 3:5? The reason is that their evil intent can cause us to sin against God. We may respond in anger or if we hang around them too long we begin to use the same tactics that they use.
1 Corinthians 15:33
"33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Matthew 5:30 " 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to depart into hell."
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