It is impossible to reason with such a person, who regards you as insignificant or stupid. We cannot wait for a time to express our concerns or reasons, it will never be received, this is why God told us to walk away from those who will not listen or rationally discuss something. It's not that we are always right, but that we desire to have an honest and loving exchange of ideas to come to a common agreement. The narcissist is not interested in this at all, their only aim it to win at all costs, even if it means the dissolution of a relationship. They would rather lose a friend than admit they may be imperfect.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Because we are living in the end times and a greater number of people have been raised on self esteem, believing they are worthy of praise continually, there will be far less tolerance of any form of correction or disagreement.
Truth is not very important to most people today, the Word of God is more of an irritant than a book of instructions for life. Often any mention of the Bible brings on a staunchness of stubbornness and excuses as to why we no longer have to listen to the Bible, which really translates into "we don't have to listen to God."
The excuse "it's about love" is the mantra often heard from superficial disobedient Christians. The base their form of love on feelings rather than truth. Those who say "it's about love", don't understand that love has everything to do with seeking the Lord for His will and therefore His blessing. Their form of love accepts sin as a normal course as long as everyone "feels" good about themselves.
When asked what "love " is, there is an anger that emerges as though we did something wrong in asking the question. A refusal to discover from God's Word what His Love looks like is met with intense opposition.
Two believers ought to be so excited about discovering God's will, that they can go to the Bible together in their discussion, but in most cases they shut the discussion down with mocking, intimidation and elevated voices before the Bible is opened. They don't want to open God's Word for His answers, they merely want to be seen as right and superficially loving.
It is interesting to me that those who love the humanistic superficial love will rage at the one who challenges it. Why is this person, who questions their actions or attitudes not worthy of the same love they claim they give to everyone else, a total acceptance of whatever they want to believe. This false love never extends to the truth teller, the one who seeks Christ, because obedience to Christ is not the objective of the superficial narcissist.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away."
The superficial narcissist only has love for those who elevate them, validating everything they do and think, they never grow because most people will be this way toward them. The friendships they have that challenge them to grow do not last, they are quickly discarded and maligned for their attempts at making a deeper walk with Christ.
When we have been discarded we can expect the narcissist to no longer be satisfied that they have chased us away, they must draw others into the mess with them, devaluing us with others who also love their narcissism.
It has been my experience that narcissists are never satisfied with hurting us they must also get others to do it with them. They often will attempt to reach those who love us, hoping to turn them against us too. Sadly, far too often, this works leaving the target isolated.
However this does not have to be devastating for the believer following hard after Christ, we love our alone time with Christ. The narcissist only does us a favor by leaving us out of their nonsense.
Also remember that God replaces the icky and horrid relationships with others, even if only just one other person who understands and loves us the way Christ loves us. It is not true that the measure of a man's character is demonstrated in how many friends they have. This is a lie from ungodly sources. The measure of our character is in how closely we walk with Christ, sometimes that will mean few friends even if none.
John 14:18
"18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."
If Jesus Christ is all we have then He is all we need! Hallelujah!!!!
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