They demand that we comply with their thinking but will not consider our opinions.
These people call others "judgmental" but in fact they are the ones who continually judge even the smallest and even unimportant things.
These people are not looking to understand others, but are angry if others don't go along with their ideas.
In short, narcissists are hypocrites. They will call you materialistic when you have less than they do.
We are seeing an increase in these narcissistic mentalities, so much so that everyone who loves the Lord will be targets for these people. The purpose of the narcissist is to devalue us in the eyes of others so that others will not like us.
There is nothing more frustrating to the narcissist than those who are confident in what they believe and are steadfast.
Narcissists do not care about truth, they only care about appearing to care about truth.
Narcissists work at engineering trouble where there need not be any problems. If all eyes and ears are on them while they are able to bring down the confidence of those they target, they count this as a win.
Family gatherings with these people are agonizing, since the gathering for them is not about connecting with people they love, the gatherings are opportunities to keep everyone riveted to their greatness.
The narcissist does not regret what they do, the derive a sense of superiority from upsetting their target and keeping everyone in the room focused on themselves.
If you do a good thing that might bring compliments from others, the narcissist must demean it in some way to take any attention or validation away from their target.
The narcissist gains pleasure out of producing chaos, their goal is to dominate through intimidation. Reasonable people back down when they see a fight about to ensue. This makes the narcissist feel they are winning and they have managed to make a fool out of anyone who responds to them, in defensiveness or attempting to explain their side.
NO matter how good the targets argument, the narcissist will push and push until the target gets angry and then say, "see how you are, you are out of control."
This is why it is best to walk away when we spot these people before they have a chance to start something ugly.
Proverbs 26:4-14
"4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Lest you also be like him.
5 Answer a fool according to his folly,
Lest he be wise in his own eyes.
6 He who sends a message by the hand of a fool
Cuts off his own feet and drinks violence.
7 Like the legs of the lame that hang limp
Is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
8 Like one who binds a stone in a sling
Is he who gives honor to a fool.
9 Like a thorn that goes into the hand of a drunkard
Is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
10 The great God who formed everything
Gives the fool his hire and the transgressor his wages.[a]
11 As a dog returns to his own vomit,
So a fool repeats his folly.
12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him."
Another manipulation tactic of the narcissist is to ignore you completely, they will resist any thought of validating you through compliments or enjoyment of your accomplishments. Withholding love is paramount to keeping you in a one down position.
Encouragement is not on the lips of the narcissists unless you are someone they wish to impress and use later. You will never hear words of support from these people, even when what you are doing is good.
The narcissist will focus on the person they think is a weak person to target. If you have been seen as the weak person because you are kind and empathetic, the narcissist will go after you for defeat. They are enemies of goodness, kindness and validation. They cannot feel superior unless they are elevated and you are diminished.
We begin to see the truth when we have been obeying God and we cannot figure out why someone is raging at us for things godly people would be pleased with, then the light bulb goes on and we realize this isn't really about us, it's the problem that is in the minds of the narcissist.
We see this same mentality in people like Adolph Hitler, he was not satisfied with being leader of a country, he wanted to be leader of the world. His prejudice against the Jews was based on their own prosperity. They were not bothering him, they were an asset to the country they lived in, prospering and growing, family oriented and serving their God. God used this evil of Hitler to eventually bring back the nation of Israel. They still need to find Christ, however, God is still blessing them to bring them to the knowledge of Christ.
Narcissists hate God they hate those who are resolute in following Him. They hate the goodness of their targets. You will not see them targeting those who are not born again or who are not as "good as they see themselves", the love to surround themselves with "lessers" in order to feel superior. If you are one they perceive as one who is not lesser, they will work to make you see yourself that way to gain power over you.
It is a waste of time and energy to express your thoughts and feelings to these people, they will use any and everything you share against you, even lying about what you said and did to turn others against you.
It is best to stay out of the lives of the narcissist, if we have to be around them for a short time it is best to remain aloof and even remove ourselves when we can. Just pray for them and move on! Place no value on their tactics or their words, they are deliberately doing this for their own perverted desires.
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