The Narcissist Strikes Again

In conversation with a family member many years ago he bragged about counseling a new believer who was living with an unsaved husband.

I was astonished what he told her. He told her to watch pornography with her husband because she should obey her husband in all things.

Objecting to this foolish advice I was labeled a "rebellious woman." That assessment of me was passed around in the family without any explanation as to why I was rebellious.

It was clear to me that the advice was based on the desire of Christian men to control their wives. Rather than lead them by example and loving behavior they felt the need to oppress and demean any woman who would dare to think for themselves in spiritual matters.

I wondered since then if a woman committed murder because her husband told her to do so, if the family member would think that was alright to murder.

After all, what is the difference between looking at porn to please her husband or murder to please her husband. In both cases God is dishonored and mocked.

I have no tolerance for men who treat their wives like objects to be used and abused, nor do I have tolerance for men who think all women ought to obey all men. The Bible does not teach this, but the Qur'an does.

Ephesians 5:22 "22 Wives, obey your husbands as you obey the Lord."

We obey our husbands when they obey God.

Acts 5:29
"29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men."

The apostles knew that obedience to God is first!

This same family member even told me he wondered if "Allah" was the same god as the Christian God. I flatly told him "of course not" and again was labeled rebellious because I would not go along with his idea of Christianity.

These were two very big clues that this family member was not walking with God or he would have known better.

When a narcissist does not like correction from someone they will declare something bad about that person, a character flaw without any details as to why they think this character flaw exists. Those who trust the narcissist will believe them, taking on the same arrogant and dismissive attitude as the narcissist without knowing why.

Narcissists speak in generalities to convince others to dislike their target. They will say "she is rebellious" or "she is mean" even "she is not too smart", causing questions in the mind of the hearer. After all the hearer thinks, "this person must know what they are talking about, they know her and I don't."

When you have someone like this in your family circle it will be hard to undo the damage they have done. Those who heard the vague platitudes against the target will retain that message in their minds while avoiding the target, never to find out the truth.

There is only two courses of action for the target to take, first pray for God's justice and secondly remove ourselves from the liar and the flying monkeys, that is all the people who have chosen to believe the narcissist.

Be satisfied in moving on with your life and the possibility that no one will ever find out the truth this side of heaven. God has this, we have no need to figure it out or work to save it.

Thankfully God said this:

Matthew 12:46-50
Changed Relationships
"46 While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. 47 Someone said to Him, “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.” 48 But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 49 And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.”"