Many years ago a woman said and did things to promote Christ in the lives of her children. They were angry at her for it but held their tongue.
After they got married and left home they remembered they disliked her but they didn't remember why. Then they relayed to their spouses that they didn't like her causing the spouses to dislike her too, but based on their feelings not on what actually happened.
The children were constantly disobedient in covert ways, rolling eyes, delaying obedience, and many more sneaky ways. When they left home they stopped the covert things and went right to overt because they could no longer be punished for their disrespect.
Over time they contrived things in their mind to justify why they despised her even though their memory was not based on fact but more on how they wished to feel about her.
Many parents experience this phenomenon, the false memory syndrome based on feelings not on facts.
It is not a false memory if the same things that happened to us in childhood continue to happen in adulthood. This is a different matter.
Many adult children look back on their childhood and understand why their parents did certain things and see it in reality. But the narcissistic child will retain their own ideas to justify their childish rebellion, even maintaining the same attitude and actions in their adult years that they had when they were children in rebellion.
1 Samuel 15:22-23 "…22 But Samuel declared: “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obedience to His voice? Behold, obedience is better than sacrifice, and attentiveness is better than the fat of rams. 23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance is like the wickedness of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has rejected you as king.”"
When a child grows up remaining in the rebellion of their youth they will become more disrespectful and contemptuous toward their parents for no other reason than they remember that they didn't like their parent then and continue to dislike them as they grow older.
When asked by the parent what they are so angry about the child has no answer. Usually, they use dismissiveness and disagreement continually to diminish the status of the parent, relegating the parent to nothing more than another peer they are in competition with, not with the honor God commands from His Word.
Exodus 20"11-12 "…11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth and the sea and all that is in them, but on the seventh day He rested. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy. 12 Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."
This instruction to honor parents was not a command just to do things for them to fulfill an obligation, it was a command to revere their wisdom, listen to their counsel, and see to their needs in the elder years. Those who merely grudgingly take care of the parents' needs or do not at all are in violation of the scriptures.
Mark 7:8-13 "8 Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.”
9 He was also saying to them, “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. 10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘The one who speaks evil of father or mother, is certainly to be put to death’; 11 but you say, ‘If a person says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is, given to God),’ 12 you no longer allow him to do anything for his father or his mother; 13 thereby invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down, and you do many things such as that.”"
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