Obedience in Marriage

In our culture, many people make the excuse that if one party in a marriage leaves and remarries it releases the other to do the same. There is no scripture that allows for remarriage simply because the other spouse does it.

There is an old Amish saying; "when two divorced and remarried people get into bed together there are four people in the bed." Why would they say this? It is because only God can sever the spiritual bond between a couple by death.

Luke 16:18

"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."

Because one person disobeys God and remarries does not give license for the other partner to do the same. We are to obey God even if no one else does and even if it means being alone.

Our obedience is not based on what others do but on what God said.

1 Corinthians 7:10-12 "…10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If a brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.…"

A born again believer can live very happily obeying God without a present spouse. It is a dependence on Christ completely.

God was not lying when He said divorce and remarriage is adultery. A piece of paper by the law of the land does not dissolve the glue God used to meld two people into one.

Matthew 19:6

"6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”

The one-flesh union cannot be dissolved by man, it remains even after divorce by the authorities. No one can dissolve what God has joined.

When God calls remarriage adultery, it makes no sense that all of a sudden after the "remarriage" it is no longer adultery. It remains adultery as long as that remarried couple remains together. There is not a new marriage there is adultery ongoing until the two in adultery decide to obey God and separate.

When we see that marriage is a covenant between God and the couple just as being born again is a permanent covenant we know that marriages are not ended by man nor is our salvation. We do not jump in and out of salvation any more than a man and woman can jump in and out of marriage, these are ordained of God and changed by Him, the born again is changed into a new creation by Him at salvation and the marriage union is God's hand in making two people into one. No one can undo what God has done.

2 Corinthians 5:16-17 "…16 So from now on we regard no one according to the flesh. Although we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!"

Matthew 19:6

"6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”

Anyone who participates in the remarriage of a divorced person is guilty of the sin with them.

This is where we get the concept that if you are in the bad crowd you are the bad crowd. I have heard people say things like; "my son is a good boy who got in with a bad crowd." NO, only bad boys choose to get in with a bad crowd. We choose what we like, no one makes us. Even in the case of gangs that attempt to intimidate others to join their gangs, they have a choice.

Romans 1:32 "32 and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them."

Those who attend remarriage after divorce are guilty of encouraging sin in others. Anyone who helps another person sin will be accountable for this sin. Those who allow unmarried couples to live in their houses as though man and wife, will be held accountable for the sin against that couple and against God.

When we do not correct or rebuke someone who claims to be a Christian but is living sinfully we are encouraging them to continue disobeying God. We are our brother's keeper, we are responsible for the example we set for others, not only our brothers and sisters but also the unsaved world who is watching us.

Think about it, does our witness of the love and faithfulness of God mean more to us than being accepted by those who will not obey God?