Arguing and fighting come from pride in one or both parties. Discussing things rationally comes from two people who want to get to know one another and discover the truth.
When we love others we want to understand them, hear the truth from them and evaluate their actions according to the bible.
Petty people care only about pretending to be superior. There is no love in using people to elevate self.
"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
Raging comes from angry people when they don't like the truth. Those who are walking in truth do not fear a challenge, they lean into it desiring a discussion to resolve matters.
Rational, kind and loving people never rage at others to intimidate them into submission. We have no need to be over anyone because Christ is everything we need all the time.
Our desire is to be helpful to others, helpful to their understanding, and helpful spiritually and Biblically.
When we get ourselves out of the way and focus on Christ then we can be like He was, never unjustly bludgeoning others to be in fear of us.
Those who love to make others fearful are not godly and most likely not born again. If we see a person who says they are a Christian who are using intimidation we ought point it out boldly and rebuke them to stop.
Proverbs 27:5
"Better is open rebuke than hidden love."
Matthew 18:15-17
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
1 Timothy 5:20
"As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear."
If someone sins in the presence of others then God tells us to rebuke them in the presence of those same people. Hiding someone's open sin is the same as participating in it through acceptance of it.
Let this sink in, it takes the strength of the Holy Spirit to tell the truth when the entire room may be against you, do it anyway, walk well and walk away if necessary.
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