An Argument or a Discussion?

In our culture, the definition of an argument might be two people attempting to win the other to their side.

A discussion is more likely when two people begin to share their point of view while listening to the point of view of the other. The purpose is to learn something about the other person while they learn something about us.

In an argument, there is no intent to learn new things to validate the other person as our friend. When winning is the only goal it divides people rather than bringing them closer together.

In a reasonable rational discussion respectfully shared we are able to learn something about ourselves as well as the other person. Both parties walk away with a greater understanding and more of a connection to the other person.

In an argument the mentality of winning leaves out kindness, love, compassion, and reasonableness. Usually, these encounters are useless and only cause division. No one learns and everyone walks away feeling like they have been hit by a train full of borders.

If we know someone is staunch about a particular belief it makes no sense to engage with them on that topic. We can love them and treat them respectfully even if we disagree. However, if the one in the discussion we are having is merely arguing to win then we are foolish to continue. Arguing to win shows an attitude of refusal to learn as well as using the other person as a sounding board instead of a human being to be loved and respected.

If we listen to the verbiage and facial expressions of others we can discern their intent, whether it is to share and learn or to fight and win.

Proverbs 29:9-10 "9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raging and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"

Proverbs 26:4

"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him"

It is important not to engage with a foolish arguer all that happens is we begin angry responses to try to be heard. It is better to leave the presence of a fool before they are able to poke us into a fight. Our flesh will become agitated into angst if we remain.

Ecclesiastes 10:13

"The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness."

Matthew 7:6

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

It is foolish of us to attempt to make a fool understand anything.