There is a difference between a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. A peacemaker follows God's Word in making peace His Way for a godly solution. The peacekeeper goes along to get along and there is no solution.
The peacemaker looks into God's Word and prays to discover God's solution the peacekeeper only cares about pleasing people so there is no discussion only compromise.
The peacemaker's solution is a permanent one because it is God's wary.
The peacemaker brings healing and turns from sin to be cleansed from it. The wounds are completely healed never to return.
The peacemaker heals wounds superficially and temporarily so that the problem returns over and over again.
The superficial modern idea of forgiveness is like this, expecting people to say they forgive but there has been no solution or healing, only words that fall to the ground while the "feelings" of an unresolved matter return over and over again.
When we look to feelings we will miss the true healing that brings forth the fruit of a changed life.
Pretending something does not make for good healing. It's sort of like placing a bandaid over a gaping wound while the blood continues to gush from the wound.
Problems are not fixed by pretending it's over through "saying" I forgive. Problems are resolved through confession of sin and forgiveness extended.
Our culture spends far too much time on giving credence to feelings than they do on reality. Pretending something is true only delays resolution and even exacerbates things when left to fester too long. The longer confession of sin is delayed the less the offended is able to ever trust the offender again. There is no solution or reconciliation until both sides of the coin, confession and forgiveness, are experienced.
Anyone who is offensive but doesn't think they did anything wrong, will not be sorry and will even defend their rude actions and without a doubt will repeat the same actions again.
1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
James 2:10
"For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it."
Those who say they forgive without the requirement of confession of sin are peacekeepers, they do not have to do the hard and embarrassing work of confronting others to solve something. They pretend they have forgiven through words but in their heart they really have not because the relationship has not been restored.
People say; "I have forgiven but I have not forgotten", because nothing was resolved. Relationships are not mended by saying something, they are mended by the hard work of confrontation and discussion. If someone refuses to discuss rationally and rages then the relationship remains broken and there is no authentic forgiveness occurring.
The world has been teaching false ideas for many generations now based on psychology, not the Bible.
Psychology gets observations right sometimes about the actions of people but often it does not have the Biblical solution that works.
We must know the Bible well to be able to discern truth from error.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
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