When we spend a lot of time with those who are hostile toward God's ways, whether or not they think they are Christians, then we are "unequally yoked" in the sense of co-dependency.
"Yoked" can also mean to enslave or bring into bondage."
When we can be intimidated or manipulated into spending time with someone when the Spirit in us is telling us to walk away, we are co-dependent and it is a form of bondage.
Christ calls us to be dependent on Him alone and never on any human being. We love people and we treat them with respect but we cannot be controlled by their desires for us. Each believer must choose their friends wisely with the intent of edifying them with the word and allowing them to edify us with the word of God.
Proverbs 12:26 "26A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the ways of the wicked lead them astray."
Proverbs 16:29
"A violent man entices his neighbor and leads him down a path that is not good."
There is violence in the heart of an unbeliever when they perceive they cannot control the born-again believer. They may not physically abuse but they will spiritually and emotionally attempt to provoke us into being angry because they are angry.
When someone continually works against what the Holy Spirit has taught us then we must remove ourselves. If we have no control over whether or not we can remove them then we must learn to live in a way that presents boundaries so that we can walk with Christ whether or not they agree.
We must never allow anyone else to intimidate us into their ways, even if only by subtle disrespect or withholding of affection. When we see these are tactics to cause hurt and anger in us we can ignore them and remove ourselves from them.
It is wonderful when we have others in our lives who agree with what God is telling us and who support us in our walk with Him, but if there is someone who will not support us in our desire to follow Christ we must follow Him without their support.
In my experience, those who want to fight against God's Word will eventually walk away from us because they ultimately see they are not able to control us and that Christ is in control of us. Then the next step is for the angered manipulator to gossip, their tool to control how others see us. They need to sense that others are disliking us as much as they do, it is their ultimate revenge.
One thing that is more disturbing to a pretenders than anything else is their inability to change us into them. They want us to follow them instead of Christ.
Co-dependency and the state of being unequally yoked is to be in a partnership with someone who has incompatible values or purposes. This is the definition of "unequally yoked." Some people translate this only to marriage but it pertains to connecting deeply with anyone who does not share our values.
There can be no profound friendship with those who work against our own values. If someone begins to see the value in what we believe and wants to learn more about it they can ask and there can be a discussion, but until that desire is there we cannot mix with unbelievers in a serious way nor with those who do not support our way of life.
In these last days of apostasy, we will find it difficult to have daily companionship with those who think like us, with the mind of Christ. Often we must be content to dwell in peace with Christ alone Who lives in us.
Proverbs 18:24
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Those who love Christ will be delighted at a calm and loving discussion about the things of God based on Scripture. These are those who make the best friends. We do not fight with those who love Christ, we discuss to learn the views of the other while using the scriptures to support what we each believe, and willing to revise our beliefs when the scripture shows us our error.
Proverbs 27:17
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."
Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
If all discussions with someone end up with the one who disagrees become rageful then we know this person is not a good companion. They are not willing to learn the heart of the other person or the heart of God.
Job 6:14
“He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty."
Proverbs 27:6
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."
Those who pretend others do not have gifts to be enjoyed and treasured, will not see the value in their friends, they merely use them to enhance their own opinion of themselves.
1 Peter 4:8-10
"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:"
When there is love there is mutual respect with value given to our friends. Those who only value their own self-exaltation will not see the value in anyone else, except and only if they elevate the one who loves to be loftier than their friends.
There is no attitude of superiority with those who have God's love. We love everyone the same and no one above another.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
1 Corinthians 13:11-13 "11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known.
13 But now faith, hope, and love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
Children react in jealousy, disrespect, gossip, and spread the knowledge given to them by a trusted friend to ruin the friend or to elevate themselves. These are the tactics of immature children who have not yet learned love. Sadly we are living in a culture now full of adults who still act like jealous disrespectful children without restraint and justification for their rude and mean actions and attitudes.
2 Timothy 3 describes the end-times mentality of the church and the world vividly. We see it now on steroids without self-control or guilt.
self-control
Jeremiah 6:15
"15 Were they ashamed because of the abomination they had done?
They were not ashamed at all,
Nor did they know even how to be ashamed.
Therefore they will fall among those who fall;
At the time that I punish them,
They will collapse,” says the Lord."
We live in a world that is not ashamed, a world without conscience and a world that expresses their outlook daily without restraint.
Sadly we have become so accustomed to these last days attitudes that most do not see it as a problem but give this generation excuses allowing the carnage to spread like wildfire.
Those of us who understand the Word of God and have Christ living in us can see how terrible it is and are judged as bad for exposing it.
Isaiah 5:20 "
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!"
Do not despair believers, we are going home soon and Christ our King will rule over the world.
Revelation 2:26-28 "…26 And to the one who overcomes and continues in My work until the end, I will give authority over the nations. 27 He will rule them with an iron scepter and shatter them like pottery— just as I have received authority from My Father. 28 And I will give him the morning star.…"
Daniel 7:18
"But the saints of the Most High will receive the kingdom and possess it forever--yes, forever and ever.'"
Revelation 12:5
"And she gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And her child was caught up to God and to His throne."
Revelation 19:15
"And from His mouth proceeds a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and He will rule them with an iron scepter. He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty."
There is great hope for the born-again believer!!!!
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