God clearly says we are to forgive when the offender is sorry. If the offender is not sorry and willing to change their behavior toward us then we are not to forgive. Forgiveness is for the purpose of reconciling a relationship not for personal feelings to avoid guilt. Confession of wrong and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin, both must be present in order for the relationship to be mended. The whole idea that we will become bitter if we don't forgive is a lie.
It is my belief that it is a sin to pressure others to forgive those who are not sorry. Why do we not see people pressuring the offender to be sorry? This is all backward and not Biblical. Also, there is false sorrow that is manipulation too, that we are not to forgive either. Those who say they are sorry but do not change their behavior. They are lying when they say they are sorry. Truly sorry people don't ever want to repeat their sin again. Some people say they are sorry because they don't like the consequences but are not sorry they did the deed.
Let's remember God's words; ""and if he repents forgive him."
If we are going to pressure others to forgive then we must also pressure the offenders to repent. This is God's formula for a reason, He wants people to learn from their sins and they can only learn if they are sorry about doing them, not just sorry about the consequences.
God will not cleanse someone from their sin if they do not want to be changed by Him. If the goal of saying "I'm sorry" is to manipulate people into accepting us back, then it is not true repentance.
Those who are sorry for offending others will always proclaim their own guilt without an excuse and without any expectations from the person to whom they confess.
When we forgive someone who is not sorry we are an enabler, the only purpose is to appear superior not a reconciliation of the relationship.
God's ways are higher than our ways, sadly psychology has twisted much of what God taught into ways that do nothing except focus on self.
The best thing we can do to protect our walk with God is to remove rebellious repeat offenders from our lives and stay close to those who love the Lord.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
God said to stay away from those who act badly, love themselves above others and refuse to repent.
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