I am now convinced that narcissism and bullies are mentalities that are genetic. Yes, everyone is born sinful but some entire families tend toward bullying and controlling while destroying relationships.
I have known several families in my life in which all the members with the exception of one or two in those families who were not like their family members. The one who is not like their family members are those who are continually bullied, treated disrespectfully even when they have done nothing wrong. Those who bully them make up things to be angry about and then spread the lies to others.
Narcissistic family structures tend to believe whatever others tell them without evidence, the words alone gratify their desire to be superior so they choose to accept them.
I am reminded of an uncle who was continually lied about by his brother. The brother started fights with the uncle and came home to indoctrinate the entire family that the uncle was the problem. Later it was revealed to one family member that it was the brother who was the problem and not the uncle but everyone believed the lies of the brother. even though they never saw the exchange between the brothers. The one who saw the truth did so because she asked God to show her what was really going on and the light bulb of truth turned on brightly. Lies and half-truths are common and rampant among narcissistic family systems.
Secrecy is a huge hallmark of those who are captive in these systems. Anyone who tells the truth will be bullied and excluded without question or discussion.
If they cannot control you, they will attempt to cause others to hate you so that you have no support system.
God said in 2 Timothy 3 in the last days this would be "ragingly insane" and normal behavior on a regular basis. This is a description of the last days mentality within the church system. They will have a form of godliness as mentioned in verse 5 but deny Christ in their attitudes and actions, violating more of scripture than they obey while claiming to be "Bible believers." We are living in this mess right now.
Many lovely believers are battling the spiritual and emotional attacks of those who have not trusted in Christ but want to appear superior and special. At times it is overwhelming how these people will bully others and think it is alright to do so. They justify their sin of gossip and lies by continually poking at us hoping we will blow up so they can blame us for what they do. They even take innocent and well-meaning comments as personal attacks when a normal person wouldn't think anything of those conversations, even appreciating them.
The devil is clearly in the details here, he is dominating the minds of those who bully others and have no conscience about it. He twisted the mind of Eve to make her believe God was the bad one, forgetting that He created her and gave her everything wonderful in the garden. The devil was able to make her against God Who gave her everything to live an amazing life.
The devil attacks anyone who love the Lord, attempting to silence them or remove any influence for Christ they may have.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 But realize this, that in the last days, difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
Bullies are everywhere now! We don't find out some are bullies until we say "no" to them when they pressure us to be like them. Then is when we find out their true self. We also find out someone is a bully when we confront them on an unbiblical attitude when they claim to be a Christian.
I am thankful to God that He gave us the wisdom to know when someone is a bully and that we do not need to take seriously their accusations and attacks, and that we are free to remove them from our lives to protect our walk with Christ.
There is nothing good that comes from relationships with bullies, only heartache and continual disrespect is in store for those who remain in the lives of bullies.
2 Corinthians 6:17
"17 Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord.
“And do not touch what is unclean;
And I will welcome you."
Keep looking up, those who love Christ will be going home soon!
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