Yes, our real self emerges when there is a disagreement. It is easy to remain calm when someone agrees with us. Those who remain calm all the time are those who have a loving spirit.
"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength." Eric Hoffer
Kind and loving people do not change their spots for different people, they remain calm, loving and honest all the time with everyone because they have the fruit of the Spirit of Christ.
Those who live in the realm of anger continually will pretend to be calm and loving until someone challenges them, this is when we see the real character of a person.
When we love and respect someone we are interested in what they think and we are understanding in disagreements. Anger is nothing more than the devil's tool to control the emotions of others. Anyone using this tool is of the devil.
Proverbs 22:24 "Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man,"
James 1:20 "For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
Ecclesiastes 7:9 "Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools."
The angry person will accuse us of anger to make us appear to be the one who starts trouble. The purpose for their anger is to cause it in us so they can accuse us of something.
A loving calm kind person never rages, they do not have it in them to do it. The manipulating person will use quiet calm rage as they engage in rude language, Snarky remarks and disapproving grunting sounds while attempting to appear calm, but inside they are seething with exasperation and the desire to control others.
If you have ever seen this it is quite interesting. Those who want to be able to deny their anger will say something rude and deny later that they did it. They are convinced if no one can prove they were angry because they didn't rage openly, they are golden and able to pretend the one confronting them was the one with a problem.
This is classic of covert narcissists, they love to act in rude mean ways and deny what they did.
Proverbs 29:22 "A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression."
Proverbs 14:29 "Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly."
This is one way we know someone is by their fruit. How they respond when they are corrected gives us clues. Whether or not they live a lifestyle of attempting to control others through intimidation or demeaning will give us important clues. The angry person is uncooperative unless they are getting something for themselves in the helping.
A loving kind person feels no need to manipulate and control others, they are content and happy to bless others, encourage others and be of help to others.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
May those who are born-again remain faithful to the Holy Spirit in this matter of love, refusing to be baited into becoming like the one who has not trusted in Christ and lives to manipulate and control others.
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