Obeying Christ Above All Else

I have met some women over the years that justify their sin against God because their husbands wanted it. They used the excuse of obeying their husband in order to excuse themselves from their own responsibility of choosing sin.

When we meet someone like this we can rightly judge that the woman who makes this excuse is treating her husband as an idol, he is her god above Christ.

When our husbands want us to sin to validate their own sin, then we are to decline to obey that and go with God.

Acts 5:7-9 in the case of Annanias and Saphira, the wife conspired with her husband to deceive. She was also punished for going along with his sin. They were both killed by God.

"7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.
8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.
9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out."

We are to obey God whether or not our husbands choose to do so. We will stand before God alone one day to account for ourselves. God will not be asking if we did it because our sinful husband told us to do it. We make our own choice to obey Christ, no matter what anyone else wants.

Acts 5:29
"29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men."

I do believe there are woman who would rather be controlled by someone else so they don't have to think or respond, they can always use others as an excuse for their own sinful choices. Those who would rather be controlled by man than allow the Holy Spirit to control them, have a weak and beggarly faith. They cannot stand alone with Christ, they must have others to blame, others to excuse them and others who validate their lack of commitment to Christ.

There is salvation in Christ alone, no other human being should be doing our thinking for us. It is sin to allow others to manipulate our thoughts, commitments and decisions toward God.

Acts 4:12
"And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved."

1 Peter 2:24
"and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed."

When we choose to work with our husband as he leads, it is our commitment toward Christ that motivates us, not a human rule we think we have to follow. When we have to say no to sin, then we must be strong in Christ above any other human pressure.

There are many women who do not have godly husbands, to obey their husbands in their sin is to deny, mock and demean Christ. If someone has an unsaved husband, he may be won to Christ by observing our commitment to Christ no matter what. Our behavior has more weight than our words.

Words have little value when they are not backed up by our behavior. Our behavior cannot be godly when or if we obey the sin of our husband.

1 Peter 3:1-2 "1 Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives 2 when they see your pure and reverent demeanor.…"

Bottom line: We obey the authorities over us when they obey Christ, when they do not, we refuse to accommodate their sin. So the conclusion of the matter is to obey Christ all the time no matter what the pressure of the culture or the devil to disobey Him. The only way we will be able to do this is if we are walking daily with our Lord, He is pre-eminent over everyone and every thing all the time.

Denying Christ Through Lying Against His Word

It is astonishing to some believers the laxity and flippancy, with which others who claim to be Christian, deal with the Word of God.

Many people who say they are Christians justify wrong beliefs, mostly because they know they will have the support of the rest of the culture. In order to be accepted by others and enjoy many friends, these people compromise the Word of God for the sake of their own popularity.

Divorce and remarriage is one of those principles that superficial Christians love to defend. They use every excuse possible why their situation or the situations of their friends, were special cases. They take one or two passages from it's context to explain away the sin they find themselves in or in order to continue enjoying the company of worldly friends and family.

Those who justify divorce and remarriage, perhaps not by doing it themselves, but by accepting the remarriages as well as even attending the weddings of those who are remarrying, have allowed themselves an excuse to sin through acceptance of these things. Using human wisdom rather than God's Word they declare it is alright with God, mocking and demeaning Him through lies about Him.

God clearly states that if we participate and validate the sin of someone, we are also guilty participating in that sin.

Those who justify sin because of the lies of their culture actually think God is just like them. They refuse His statues and principles to follow the culture, so they have made a god in their own image, while rejecting the One true God.

There is only one cure for this sinful contemptuous mentality, that is repentance in the heart, confession with the mouth and a returning to the ways of God. Anyone who will not do this remains in their sin and will be dealt with by God.

Psalm 50:16-23
16 "But to the wicked God says,
“What right have you to tell of My statutes
And to take My covenant in your mouth?
17 “For you hate discipline,
And you cast My words behind you.
18 “When you see a thief, you are pleased with him,
And you associate with adulterers.
19 “You let your mouth loose in evil
And your tongue frames deceit.
20 “You sit and speak against your brother;
You slander your own mother’s son.
21 “These things you have done and I kept silence;
You thought that I was just like you;
I will reprove you and state the case in order before your eyes.
22 “Now consider this, you who forget God,
Or I will tear you in pieces, and there will be none to deliver.
23 “He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors Me;
And to him who orders his way aright
I shall show the salvation of God.”

Acts 5:7-9 in the case of Annanias and Saphira, the wife conspired with her husband to deceive. She was also punished for going along with his sin.
"7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.
8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.
9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out."

Proverbs 1:10-19
10 My son, if sinners entice you,
Do not consent.
11 If they say, “Come with us,
Let us lie in wait for blood,
Let us ambush the innocent without cause;
12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol,
Even whole, as those who go down to the pit;
13 We will find all kinds of precious wealth,
We will fill our houses with spoil;
14 Throw in your lot [a]with us,
We shall all have one purse,”
15 My son, do not walk in the way with them.
Keep your feet from their path,
16 For their feet run to evil
And they hasten to shed blood.
17 Indeed, it is [b]useless to spread the baited net
In the sight of any [c]bird;
18 But they lie in wait for their own blood;
They ambush their own lives.
19 So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence;
It takes away the life of its possessors."

Ephesians 5:3-7
"3 But immorality [a]or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among [b]saints; 4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this you know with certainty, that no [c]immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;"

Acts 7:57
"57 But they cried out with a loud voice, and covered their ears and rushed at him with one impulse."

2 John 10-11
"10 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; 11 for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds."

Failing to rebuke those who are sinning is also a form of participating and validating sin.

Ezekiel 3:17-21
"17 “Son of man, I have appointed you a watchman to the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from My mouth, warn them from Me.
18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.
19 Yet if you have warned the wicked and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered yourself.
20 Again, when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I place an obstacle before him, he will die; since you have not warned him, he shall die in his sin, and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand.
21 However, if you have warned the righteous man that the righteous should not sin and he does not sin, he shall surely live because he took warning; and you have delivered yourself.”

Ephesians 5:11
"11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even [a]expose them;"

Most people in our "Christian culture" are not exposing the sin of adultery through divorce and remarriage, but rather are accepting it and embracing those who do it.

1 Timothy 5:20
"20 Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning."

Those who expose the sin of adultery in divorce and remarriage are those who are rejected. This is the state of this world today, many will defend the sin while beating up on the one who exposes sin. I know there are those of you who have experienced the same thing. You speak God's truth, from that moment that you do, you are targeted for mocking, demeaning and isolation, you are essentially invisible to those who claimed to love you, because you will not give into the pressure to accept the worldliness of the superficial Christian.

2 Tim. 4:2
"2 by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron,"
Those who claim to be Christians and reject the Word of God as He intended it, are hypocrites, claiming one thing and being another.

When we know the truth and refuse to defend it, we are playing into the hands of the devil, doing his dirty work in defying God, merely to be accepted by the world.

We Need Christ

John 8:24 "That is why I told you that you would die in your sins. For unless you believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.”

Acts 4:12
"12 And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.”

John 14:6
"6 Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."

Narcissists Hate Reason

Narcissists see every correction or suggestion contrary to what they want, as an attack. It is only pride that controls the narcissists inability to receive constructive suggestions or correction. If they cannot attack your words or ideas they will claim it was the WAY you said it.

One of the characteristics of the narcissist is that they feel free to criticize others, giving them untrue advice, but refuse to receive any themselves. They are hell bent on controlling others more than fixing anything. Their desire to feel superior through improper criticism, is a fire in their belly, they must destroy whomever will not bow to their ways.

Proverbs 27:6
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."

Romans 15:14
"And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another."

Narcissists will deny your obligation to correct from God's Word. They will fight against anything that shows them their frailties or flaws.

Colossians 3:16
"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

Psalm 141:5
"Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me; It is oil upon the head; Do not let my head refuse it, For still my prayer is against their wicked deeds."

Luke 17:3
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him."

1 Thessalonians 5:14
"We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone."

2 Timothy 3:16
"All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;"

When we meet a person who rages at us in condescending tones at the slightest suggestion that they might be wrong about something, they will attack, out of proportion to even a mild suggestion different from their perspective.

The rages of the narcissist will be an attack rather than a disagreement. They see everything as a battle to be won, while putting everything they can into that battle, from gun fire to cannons. Sort of like using a cannon to keep someone from taking their parking space at the mall.

Rather than letting it go, allowing others to see things from their own perspective, these people cannot rest until they have managed to control the emotions of others whom they view as inferior to them. Sadly, the more we attempt to reason with them the worse they become.

I have seen narcissists who raged because someone disagreed with them. They cannot handle any form of disagreement without the desire and need to pummel their "enemy", as they see it.

Everyone who dares to refuse to allow the narcissist to control them, will be blasted with every gun necessary to bring down their target. Those they cannot control with their big guns will be discarded. That is a good thing, however when they do this they embark on a campaign to smear us to as many people as they can. These people will lie against us and worse use half truths to turn family members, friends and neighbors against us. They are never satisfied to just get away from truth, they must destroy it.

1 Peter 5:8 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"

Normal people who are confident, are not threatened by a suggestion contrary to their own beliefs. Normal people can easily acknowledge their short comings and even correct themselves to improve.

Narcissists cannot grow as a normal person grows over the years. Their intense need to be perfect and right all the time will keep them from improving. These people will be emotional children all their lives, many until their death in their elderly years.

Proverbs 14:6-8 "…6 A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. 7 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge. 8 The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, But the foolishness of fools is deceit.…"

We are watching this phenomenon growing worse every day. With each generation is a new intensity of narcissism. It is nearly impossible now to have a lengthy discussion on anything to clarify and resolve relationships problems. There is a lot of hiding, lying and manipulating occurring to stop the attempts to fix problems.

When we discover the impossibility of reasoning with someone, we must walk away, leaving them to God. The more we try to be heard, the more we want them to speak truth, the worse things will become.

Proverbs 26:4 "…3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools. 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him. 5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves, That he not be wise in his own eyes.…"

When we see that our attempts to clear up problems are met with manipulation, silence and intimidation, there is nothing left to do except remove ourselves.

2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."

God clearly says in verse 5 of 2 Timothy 3, to stay away from those who will not resolve a matter simply to remain in control. There are a couple of reasons for this, the first is that we would be "throwing our pearls before swine", they love the fight, the more we try to explain or try to get them to be honest, the worse they become. The second reason to avoid these people is to prevent ourselves from becoming like them through the arguing.

Narcissist love nothing better than to cause us to sin in our responses. It is their goal to trap us in a sin, real or imagined. The more we talk to them, the worse they become. Ramping up the attacks is their way of emotionally destroying us.

Proverbs 26 is an ample description of the fool who cannot learn but continually causes trouble and harm.

God Will Deal With Arrogance

Just recently it was my disappointment to have to communicate with a woman who believed she was a "wonderful" mother. Having stated this: "I must be a wonderful mother, because my children are perfect", she became enraged at me for stating that no mother is perfect and no children are perfect. The fact that she was so bitterly defensive indicated to me that there was intense arrogance, a refusal to see herself in truth. A “wonderful” woman does not rage at a mild challenge, even given scripture to back it up.

She declared that since her children were all in ministry, they were doing very well and therefore perfect.

Explaining to her that no one is perfect, that the realization that we are all fallible and in need of correction to help us grow in holiness, this woman began to accuse me of "judging" and being "mean spirited", for challenging her to think in godly terms.

Since only God is perfect, even His children Adam and Eve made their own choice to disobey Him, proves that parents are not "wonderful" and cannot cause their own children to make the right choices toward God.

It must be the Holy Spirit working in the lives of people and the proper response from the one the Holy Spirit is dealing with, that shows us the heart of our children. No parent can take the credit for the way their children turn out, they are not robots that are programmed whichever way we choose.

There have been a few "self righteous" people in my life from time to time who really believed that all they had to do was teach their children from the Bible, pray with them in the home and they would automatically be wonderful Christians. They used the principles of the scripture in Proverbs 22:6 "6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it."

The problem with using this verse as the criteria for children becoming born again, is that it is not a principle that promises this will happen. The principle from the original language, means that our children will not forget what they learned. It is not promised that they will become born again.

If the Proverbs 22 verse meant that a child will automatically go the way of the parent, then there would be no need for the following verse and it would contradict God.

Ezekiel 18:20 " 20 "The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself. "

No parent will be held responsible for the choices of their children. And, believe God when He says; your children will have to make their own choice. Nothing is automatic with the raising of children. The first thing to realize is that no parent is perfect so how on earth could we expect them to do all the right things to make a child want to follow Christ.

Also let us remember that there are adult children who have ungodly and unsaved parents who raised them in the world, who when they heard the gospel, responded and trusted Christ without the influence of parents. Not only without that influence but even being taught ways contrary to Christ.

We know from the Word that God the father was the Perfect Parent, but His children made their own choices.

Those who believe they are wonderful parents, walk in pride and often, if not always judge others based on the choices the children make, even without knowing anything about what went on in the home. Or, often based on the testimony of rebellious children who skewed the events in a way that made them look innocent.

Far too many people are judging their opinions of others on what they think they see from afar, rather than on the evidence. It makes me sad when I hear Christians say things like, "their children went bad, they must have been bad parents." They don't use these words exactly, but they treat the parents in ways that demean and reduce them to criminal status. If they were to go into a court of law with their opinions, there would be no evidence, eye witness or otherwise, to prove their assertions that the parents caused the rebellion in their children. The idea that people go bad because they are treated badly or neglected, is not based on the sinful heart of man as described in God’s Word, but rather it is based on psychology that assumes if someone is evil it is because someone did something to them that made them that way. It is the premise coming from evolutionary thinking that mankind is nothing more than evolving animals that do everything out of conditioning, instinct or fear.

Mankind does not operate out of conditioning and fear often, we operate out of selfishness, greed, self- righteousness and everything else listed in 2 Timothy 3:1-5

2 Timothy 3:-5 “3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.”

In our culture today, many children, especially those raised in public schools, choose the opinions of their teachers over the guidance of their parents. They interpret everything that goes on in the home in terms of what they are being taught in the school system, as they are taught evolution. They have been programmed to believe they should be treated special and others should do things for them just the way they want.

The school system asserts that children are "programmed" by parents through stimuli. All the choices of the children were based on how they were treated rather than on their own will and reactions.

When we hear silly things like, "hurting people hurt people", we see how wrong judgments can be made. Many children are not hurting, they are just indulged, causing them to become arrogant and believe they can hurt others to control them. They know they can get away with it because society will give them an excuse.

Not all people who are hurting, hurt others. We do not have to hurt others because we were hurt, many choose to do better in life than the way they were treated by others.

The premise that we have an excuse to hurt others is not only faulty but dangerous all the way around. We can actually teach others from the Bible, that we do not have to “react” to the actions of others. We can choose to be and do what we know to be right, even choosing to bless those who would curse us. We also have the option as stated in 2 Timothy 3:5, to remove ourselves if possible from those who torment us.

Christ was our example, He died for those who persecuted Him, even while they were yet sinners. But He never remained with those who heard the truth and rejected it. He moved on to others to reach everyone, enabling them to have a choice to follow Him or not to follow Him.

No one will enter heaven because of someone else, they will enter heaven based on their own response to the gospel. Those who brought them the gospel are instruments. The instrument speaks truth and the Holy Spirit works in the hearts, while the people make their choices. God gets the credit not the planter.

1 Corinthians 3:6-8 “…6 I planted the seed and Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 He who plants and he who waters are one in purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor.…”

Give God the Glory

Be sure what you tell people to do, is based in Scripture and when it is in Scripture, it should not be taken out of it's context just to justify what we want it to say.

Many things people say to us came from "motivational manuals." They are not only NOT in the Scriptures but against the Word.

No where in the Word does God tell us to be "proud of ourselves" or to "praise ourselves." This runs contrary to the will of God. When we obey Him, give Him the credit for the good that we have done, then we will always give Him the glory for everything.

Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."

James 1:22
"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves."

So many things sound good but do not please the Lord.

Galatians 6:7-8
"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life."

Romans 12:2
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Pride Prevents Salvation

We must believe on Him, that means trust Him for our salvation. We cannot place our trust in any measure on anything we do. Christ will not change anyone who will not let go of their own pride, it is pride that makes us think we can get or keep our salvation by being "good enough."

Ephesians 2:8-9 "8 For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.…"