One of the characteristics of the narcissist is that they feel free to criticize others, giving them untrue advice, but refuse to receive any themselves. They are hell bent on controlling others more than fixing anything. Their desire to feel superior through improper criticism, is a fire in their belly, they must destroy whomever will not bow to their ways.
Proverbs 27:6
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."
Romans 15:14
"And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another."
Narcissists will deny your obligation to correct from God's Word. They will fight against anything that shows them their frailties or flaws.
Colossians 3:16
"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God."
Psalm 141:5
"Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me; It is oil upon the head; Do not let my head refuse it, For still my prayer is against their wicked deeds."
Luke 17:3
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him."
1 Thessalonians 5:14
"We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone."
2 Timothy 3:16
"All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;"
When we meet a person who rages at us in condescending tones at the slightest suggestion that they might be wrong about something, they will attack, out of proportion to even a mild suggestion different from their perspective.
The rages of the narcissist will be an attack rather than a disagreement. They see everything as a battle to be won, while putting everything they can into that battle, from gun fire to cannons. Sort of like using a cannon to keep someone from taking their parking space at the mall.
Rather than letting it go, allowing others to see things from their own perspective, these people cannot rest until they have managed to control the emotions of others whom they view as inferior to them. Sadly, the more we attempt to reason with them the worse they become.
I have seen narcissists who raged because someone disagreed with them. They cannot handle any form of disagreement without the desire and need to pummel their "enemy", as they see it.
Everyone who dares to refuse to allow the narcissist to control them, will be blasted with every gun necessary to bring down their target. Those they cannot control with their big guns will be discarded. That is a good thing, however when they do this they embark on a campaign to smear us to as many people as they can. These people will lie against us and worse use half truths to turn family members, friends and neighbors against us. They are never satisfied to just get away from truth, they must destroy it.
1 Peter 5:8 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
Normal people who are confident, are not threatened by a suggestion contrary to their own beliefs. Normal people can easily acknowledge their short comings and even correct themselves to improve.
Narcissists cannot grow as a normal person grows over the years. Their intense need to be perfect and right all the time will keep them from improving. These people will be emotional children all their lives, many until their death in their elderly years.
Proverbs 14:6-8 "…6 A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. 7 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge. 8 The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, But the foolishness of fools is deceit.…"
We are watching this phenomenon growing worse every day. With each generation is a new intensity of narcissism. It is nearly impossible now to have a lengthy discussion on anything to clarify and resolve relationships problems. There is a lot of hiding, lying and manipulating occurring to stop the attempts to fix problems.
When we discover the impossibility of reasoning with someone, we must walk away, leaving them to God. The more we try to be heard, the more we want them to speak truth, the worse things will become.
Proverbs 26:4 "…3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools. 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him. 5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves, That he not be wise in his own eyes.…"
When we see that our attempts to clear up problems are met with manipulation, silence and intimidation, there is nothing left to do except remove ourselves.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
God clearly says in verse 5 of 2 Timothy 3, to stay away from those who will not resolve a matter simply to remain in control. There are a couple of reasons for this, the first is that we would be "throwing our pearls before swine", they love the fight, the more we try to explain or try to get them to be honest, the worse they become. The second reason to avoid these people is to prevent ourselves from becoming like them through the arguing.
Narcissist love nothing better than to cause us to sin in our responses. It is their goal to trap us in a sin, real or imagined. The more we talk to them, the worse they become. Ramping up the attacks is their way of emotionally destroying us.
Proverbs 26 is an ample description of the fool who cannot learn but continually causes trouble and harm.
No comments:
Post a Comment