God said we do not fight against flesh and blood but devils and high places.
Ephesians 6:12
"12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places."
This is why we should not fight the human beings who are controlled by the devils. We fight the devils by passing them off to God to handle. When we encounter those who are controlled by devils we don't try to reason with them we simply remove ourselves and leave it to God.
Proverbs 26:4-5
"4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes."
We are not to answer a fool according to his folly. In other words we do not allow ourselves to be sucked into their foolish arguments when they try to side track them. The way to answer a fool in a way that he deserves is to not answer them at all. If we do, then it must be merely repeating our boundaries and truth without allowing them to take us down rabbit trails.
When we answer a fool according to their rabbit trails they are able to make us look foolish, even causing arguments.
An example of this might be when we are attempting to bring logic to something and they turn the conversation into "you said that in a mean way", when all we did was speak truth. Ignoring the comment that we said it in a mean way, we simply repeat what we said before and stand our ground. When we discover they are going to attempt the rabbit trail again, we simply calmly excuse ourselves and go to our happy place. LOL
Where is our happy place? Wherever the narcissist is not, that is our happy place.
Proverbs 27: 22 "Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with grain, yet his folly will not depart from him."
Proverbs 23:9 "Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words."
Proverbs 22:10 "10 Drive out the mocker, and conflict will depart; even quarreling and insults will cease."
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Monday, March 4, 2019
Do You Miss the Narcissist?
If you find yourselves missing the narcissist after a discard. Not to worry.
Perhaps somewhere we can buy a little wind up box that says things like:
"You are stupid."
"Why did you buy that it makes you look fat."
" No one listens to you"
"You don't need to do that, no one will like it"
"You always......anything"
"You never......anything."
"Your too sensitive"
"Your a big baby"
"You seem angry" When you were not angry but they were.
"No one likes you"
Then there is the disapproving grunt, only grunting sounds made whenever we speak truth or are enjoying something.
This way we never have to miss the narcissist, their phrases can be with us always even when they are not there.
Perhaps somewhere we can buy a little wind up box that says things like:
"You are stupid."
"Why did you buy that it makes you look fat."
" No one listens to you"
"You don't need to do that, no one will like it"
"You always......anything"
"You never......anything."
"Your too sensitive"
"Your a big baby"
"You seem angry" When you were not angry but they were.
"No one likes you"
Then there is the disapproving grunt, only grunting sounds made whenever we speak truth or are enjoying something.
This way we never have to miss the narcissist, their phrases can be with us always even when they are not there.
Are There Wrinkles Around Your Eyes?
Remember that a real smile engages the whole face. The eyes light up, there are wrinkles around the eyes and mouth. A fake smile is only around the mouth, the eyes remain unaffected, the face is not engaged with a happy emotion.
There were times in my many interactions with people that I noticed something was off when someone smiled. I couldn't figure out why I was suspect, after all they were smiling.
Our bodies give us away even if we are not aware of it. Genuine smiles involve the entire face and wrinkles around the eyes. A phony smile is only around the mouth itself.
I am convinced that whatever is inside of us, the real us, will reveal itself in our bodies without us even realizing it.
The joy of the Lord can be seen in someone even if they don't know they are presenting a joyous spirit. Their mannerisms exude a demeanor of confidence and joy that if often absent in those who do not know the Lord.
We cannot manufacture in our own flesh joy or happiness.
Strong believers have joy all the time, even in the middle of very difficult times. This is the greatest witness of all to the unbeliever. The ability to remain calm, steady and patient in the face of great trial. It is not wealth, health or miracles that we influence people for Christ, its in our steady life confidence in the face of everything.
Accomplishments do not move the wise person toward pride. These people remain humble all the time. When Christ is the focus, all accomplishment is not ours but His, He gets the credit for our lives, there is no reason to feel superior or proud.
Strong believers feel no need to pretend good things about themselves or their families. Their greatest strength is in truthfully facing things head on while praying for solutions.
Those who do not admit there are problems will never pray for solutions. These people are content to pretend things that are not true as long as they can get others to see their life as perfect and wonderful. Genuine people are able to tell the truth without feeling shame that they or others around them are not perfect.
The people I have known that have grown the most spiritually and emotionally have been those who are genuine, honest and forthright. These people learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others.
It is not important what others think of us, only what God thinks. It is not important that we see ourselves as special or perfect, only that we see our selves in truth. It is the truth that sets us free. Pretense only leave us in bondage. The pretense must be continually presented to feel whole. When we see things in truth and speak truth then is when we grow to be better. The pressure to be seen as wonderful is not there to bind us up.
AND, guess what? We all need to be better, there is no one who has arrived at perfection and no one who becomes holier by pretending they are perfect. Those who pretend never self reflect and they never grow.
Want to grow? Admit the flaws and learn from them to gain spiritual maturity.
Proverbs 21:1-2 "1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. 2 The good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a man who devises evil.…"
There were times in my many interactions with people that I noticed something was off when someone smiled. I couldn't figure out why I was suspect, after all they were smiling.
Our bodies give us away even if we are not aware of it. Genuine smiles involve the entire face and wrinkles around the eyes. A phony smile is only around the mouth itself.
I am convinced that whatever is inside of us, the real us, will reveal itself in our bodies without us even realizing it.
The joy of the Lord can be seen in someone even if they don't know they are presenting a joyous spirit. Their mannerisms exude a demeanor of confidence and joy that if often absent in those who do not know the Lord.
We cannot manufacture in our own flesh joy or happiness.
Strong believers have joy all the time, even in the middle of very difficult times. This is the greatest witness of all to the unbeliever. The ability to remain calm, steady and patient in the face of great trial. It is not wealth, health or miracles that we influence people for Christ, its in our steady life confidence in the face of everything.
Accomplishments do not move the wise person toward pride. These people remain humble all the time. When Christ is the focus, all accomplishment is not ours but His, He gets the credit for our lives, there is no reason to feel superior or proud.
Strong believers feel no need to pretend good things about themselves or their families. Their greatest strength is in truthfully facing things head on while praying for solutions.
Those who do not admit there are problems will never pray for solutions. These people are content to pretend things that are not true as long as they can get others to see their life as perfect and wonderful. Genuine people are able to tell the truth without feeling shame that they or others around them are not perfect.
The people I have known that have grown the most spiritually and emotionally have been those who are genuine, honest and forthright. These people learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others.
It is not important what others think of us, only what God thinks. It is not important that we see ourselves as special or perfect, only that we see our selves in truth. It is the truth that sets us free. Pretense only leave us in bondage. The pretense must be continually presented to feel whole. When we see things in truth and speak truth then is when we grow to be better. The pressure to be seen as wonderful is not there to bind us up.
AND, guess what? We all need to be better, there is no one who has arrived at perfection and no one who becomes holier by pretending they are perfect. Those who pretend never self reflect and they never grow.
Want to grow? Admit the flaws and learn from them to gain spiritual maturity.
Proverbs 21:1-2 "1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. 2 The good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a man who devises evil.…"
Sunday, March 3, 2019
Feelings are Inaccurate
For many years back in the 70's we were taught something ridiculous and that was that we must pay attention to feelings. We can admit them without being controlled by them.
Judas went with the feelings of desire to have wealth and ended up betraying Jesus Christ.
Herod and Herodius FELT angry at John the Baptist for correcting them and chopped off his head. He was right and their feelings were lies.
Joseph's brothers felt angry because Joseph was loved by God and his father, so they threw him into a well and sold him into slavery.
Just because you feel good about something does not mean you are doing something good in following those feelings.
Just because you feel bad about something does not mean that thing is bad.
Judas, Herod and Herodius, and Joseph's brothers. All had feelings that led them to do evil.
Confess wrong feelings before they become actions and you will not carry out the evil that the devil wishes you to carry out. The devil often manipulates feelings to cause discontent, just as he did with Eve in the garden.
The devil managed to manipulate Eve into believing God was withholding something powerful from her. Her desired feelings of being like God were indulged by the devil. She leaned into those feelings and we live the consequences of that decision today.
All Eve had to do was ignore the devil and his lies, ignore the feelings and believe what God said. Had she done that we might all still be in the garden today. However, she is indicative of the human race. We all have done what she did, it was only through faith in Christ that we have the power to battle these feelings, rising above them to obey God.
Hallelujah!!!!
Judas went with the feelings of desire to have wealth and ended up betraying Jesus Christ.
Herod and Herodius FELT angry at John the Baptist for correcting them and chopped off his head. He was right and their feelings were lies.
Joseph's brothers felt angry because Joseph was loved by God and his father, so they threw him into a well and sold him into slavery.
Just because you feel good about something does not mean you are doing something good in following those feelings.
Just because you feel bad about something does not mean that thing is bad.
Judas, Herod and Herodius, and Joseph's brothers. All had feelings that led them to do evil.
Confess wrong feelings before they become actions and you will not carry out the evil that the devil wishes you to carry out. The devil often manipulates feelings to cause discontent, just as he did with Eve in the garden.
The devil managed to manipulate Eve into believing God was withholding something powerful from her. Her desired feelings of being like God were indulged by the devil. She leaned into those feelings and we live the consequences of that decision today.
All Eve had to do was ignore the devil and his lies, ignore the feelings and believe what God said. Had she done that we might all still be in the garden today. However, she is indicative of the human race. We all have done what she did, it was only through faith in Christ that we have the power to battle these feelings, rising above them to obey God.
Hallelujah!!!!
Friday, March 1, 2019
Thursday, February 28, 2019
The Encouragement of the Women
Rodger and I were discussing the role of women in the church. We agree that women are not leaders in the church but played an important role in their Christian relationships.
Women also are important for the helping of the spread of the gospel. Even street preaching can be one of those callings of the woman. Not very many women are called to this but many are called to speak truth boldly in their relationships to both men and women, as well as children.
When my husband and I moved to South Carolina there were two very godly women who influenced us. They demonstrated a fervor for the truth and a life completely enmeshed in Christ.
These two women deeply influenced Rodger, encouraging him in training himself in the Word as well as using that training to preach to the rest of the body.
Mary and Melly-Sue were wonderful influences in our lives and in Rodgers life especially. They both approached him to encourage him in his walk.
It was in South Carolina that we decided to be baptized. There is where we found the Bible to be preached, the Berean attitude that brought us along spiritually, farther than we had ever been before.
Rodger and I came from traditions in which women remained silent about the things of the Lord. They never spoke the name of Jesus Christ, nor did they teach anything from the Bible. Rodger's comment to me during this discussion was; "I didn't come from a tradition where women were the ones silent, everyone was silent, men and women alike."
We praise the Lord for those godly women who approached Rodger to encourage him in the Word. I had already been in the word for a number of years, but Rodger was too busy with work and causes to really spend much time in it.
Because of these two women my husband and I were able to embark on a whole new adventure of seeking the Word together.
Rodger was raised Catholic from the cradle. He believed he was born a Catholic and was going to die a Catholic. When the Lord got hold of him, he became born again our relationship took a very different path.
Since I was born again before him, we didn't walk together much in spiritual matters. After he became born again our relationship became more of a team working together than each person going their own way.
This is the reason I encourage those who are married to non-believers to hang in there and pray. One never knows what God will use to bring an unsaved spouse to Him.
There will be those who want to inject problems into the marriage by their idea of spirituality. They work to come between husband and wife to cause division. These people use their idea of the "rules", that are not Biblical to encourage the man to dominate over the woman. These people love their dominance and oppression over others, they are trouble makers. There cannot be love when there is dominance. Leading is what God calls for, that is encouragement and love not intimidation and manipulation.
1 Peter 5:3
"Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock."
Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." ... He who loves his wife loves himself.
A husband and wife are one, Christ made them that in marriage. The wife is the other half of her husband. It is vitally important that the husband listen to the counselor that God gave him in his other half.
We are former Catholics, one having discovered truth before the other, conflict came, prayer increased and the other became born again about ten years later. It can happen, but one things for sure, it probably won't happen if there isn't much prayer, either by us or by others who are watching.
We must pray for wayward or unsaved spouses. Don't gloat when they become born again, its not our work, its the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. It is a joy when the Lord responds to our prayers.
I still pray for our unsaved children and their spouses, although became weary a couple of years ago and stopped praying for them. I didn't regret that because God heard all those prayers from 40 years ago until now, they still counted. But I needed a rest from thinking about them and their foolishness. After the rest I began again and have continued.
When we become tired of the fight, the stubbornness we see in those we love, then is the time to take a step back and spend some time getting closer to Christ Who lives in us.
All our prayers even past ones still count, there is no time or past and future with God. Never be discouraged that the one more prayer was the one that counted and you didn't do it. Our prayers remain heard even after the last prayer no matter how long ago it was.
All we really want is imbedded in our heart, that is for those who are not yet born again to become so, and those who are pretenders to realize their need to submit to Christ, realizing their good deeds are not going to get them there, nor will their rule following. It is a continual seeking the Holy Spirit that is the evidence of the born again experience.
John 16:12-14 "…12 I still have much to tell you, but you cannot yet bear to hear it. 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you.…"
There are many pretenders who minimize the work of the Holy Spirit as though He must work at our bidding. They do not go to Him for guidance, they command Him what to do.
May this arrogance of telling the Holy Spirit what He should do must go from the mind of the one who prays.
Seeking God means asking Him to show us about ourselves that we might repent and be cleansed.
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Luke 18:9-14
"9 And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt:
10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’
13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’
14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Women also are important for the helping of the spread of the gospel. Even street preaching can be one of those callings of the woman. Not very many women are called to this but many are called to speak truth boldly in their relationships to both men and women, as well as children.
When my husband and I moved to South Carolina there were two very godly women who influenced us. They demonstrated a fervor for the truth and a life completely enmeshed in Christ.
These two women deeply influenced Rodger, encouraging him in training himself in the Word as well as using that training to preach to the rest of the body.
Mary and Melly-Sue were wonderful influences in our lives and in Rodgers life especially. They both approached him to encourage him in his walk.
It was in South Carolina that we decided to be baptized. There is where we found the Bible to be preached, the Berean attitude that brought us along spiritually, farther than we had ever been before.
Rodger and I came from traditions in which women remained silent about the things of the Lord. They never spoke the name of Jesus Christ, nor did they teach anything from the Bible. Rodger's comment to me during this discussion was; "I didn't come from a tradition where women were the ones silent, everyone was silent, men and women alike."
We praise the Lord for those godly women who approached Rodger to encourage him in the Word. I had already been in the word for a number of years, but Rodger was too busy with work and causes to really spend much time in it.
Because of these two women my husband and I were able to embark on a whole new adventure of seeking the Word together.
Rodger was raised Catholic from the cradle. He believed he was born a Catholic and was going to die a Catholic. When the Lord got hold of him, he became born again our relationship took a very different path.
Since I was born again before him, we didn't walk together much in spiritual matters. After he became born again our relationship became more of a team working together than each person going their own way.
This is the reason I encourage those who are married to non-believers to hang in there and pray. One never knows what God will use to bring an unsaved spouse to Him.
There will be those who want to inject problems into the marriage by their idea of spirituality. They work to come between husband and wife to cause division. These people use their idea of the "rules", that are not Biblical to encourage the man to dominate over the woman. These people love their dominance and oppression over others, they are trouble makers. There cannot be love when there is dominance. Leading is what God calls for, that is encouragement and love not intimidation and manipulation.
1 Peter 5:3
"Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock."
Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." ... He who loves his wife loves himself.
A husband and wife are one, Christ made them that in marriage. The wife is the other half of her husband. It is vitally important that the husband listen to the counselor that God gave him in his other half.
We are former Catholics, one having discovered truth before the other, conflict came, prayer increased and the other became born again about ten years later. It can happen, but one things for sure, it probably won't happen if there isn't much prayer, either by us or by others who are watching.
We must pray for wayward or unsaved spouses. Don't gloat when they become born again, its not our work, its the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. It is a joy when the Lord responds to our prayers.
I still pray for our unsaved children and their spouses, although became weary a couple of years ago and stopped praying for them. I didn't regret that because God heard all those prayers from 40 years ago until now, they still counted. But I needed a rest from thinking about them and their foolishness. After the rest I began again and have continued.
When we become tired of the fight, the stubbornness we see in those we love, then is the time to take a step back and spend some time getting closer to Christ Who lives in us.
All our prayers even past ones still count, there is no time or past and future with God. Never be discouraged that the one more prayer was the one that counted and you didn't do it. Our prayers remain heard even after the last prayer no matter how long ago it was.
All we really want is imbedded in our heart, that is for those who are not yet born again to become so, and those who are pretenders to realize their need to submit to Christ, realizing their good deeds are not going to get them there, nor will their rule following. It is a continual seeking the Holy Spirit that is the evidence of the born again experience.
John 16:12-14 "…12 I still have much to tell you, but you cannot yet bear to hear it. 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you.…"
There are many pretenders who minimize the work of the Holy Spirit as though He must work at our bidding. They do not go to Him for guidance, they command Him what to do.
May this arrogance of telling the Holy Spirit what He should do must go from the mind of the one who prays.
Seeking God means asking Him to show us about ourselves that we might repent and be cleansed.
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Luke 18:9-14
"9 And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt:
10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’
13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’
14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
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