Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Loving God's Way

Because the narcissist is so focused on self it is agonizing to spend time with them. It is usually an unhappy experience because they have no joy or peace, they don't laugh or share anything of their own feelings or emotions.
If they are not bragging about their own life they have nothing to say. They have no interest in you or outside of their own materialism or adventure activities.
It is absolutely boring to spend time with people who are so invested in appearing accomplished and perfect that they are like robots.
They never help when asked, they will only help if it's their own idea and for the purpose of being noticed by others.
I am saddened by the fact that so many people in our culture are like this. They attempt to appear perfect while judging everyone else as unworthy of respect.
It is important that we evaluate ourselves to make sure we are not one of those who operate as though we are the most important and the smartest above others.
The only way to examine ourselves is through the lens of The Word of God. Everything we say and do must be measured according to the Bible. If we sincerely want to make sure we are walking with Christ in authenticity we must read the Word of God to discover His heart and obey what He says in His Word.
No one can truly evaluate themselves and still have a high opinion of their own goodness. Everywhere we turn in the scriptures are admonitions that help us to realize no one is without a need for change.
We live in a culture that fosters anger and resentment over silly things while acting on the rudeness in their hearts.
In order to evaluate our own hearts it is good to look at what God calls love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away."
Those who live with unloving people day after day are in danger of becoming like those they live with unless they actively study God's Word and pray for God to change their hearts from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh.
Colossians 3:14
"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
There is no harmony with a narcissist because there is no love. It takes love to develop a relationship with someone.
John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
One does not have to die to lay down their life, we do it by letting go of a competitive spirit and a superior mindset. When we love the way God told us to love we will not be looking continually for flaws to judge, we will be looking to help through understanding and humble conversation, listening more than we speak.
John 13:34-35
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have a love for one another.”
Many people are continually looking for something to complain about in those they dislike. The slightest disagreement is seen as a personal attack.
Many people in our culture are somewhat friendly when we agree with them but become ragingly infuriated when someone chooses their own path or disagrees with them. They can never ask questions like; "why do you think that way" or "What did you mean by that." To ask a question for clarification or to learn something new about the person is not on their radar, winning, even through mocking and intimidation is all these people care about.
It is impossible to have a relationship with those who elevate themselves to the level of godhood.
The best thing we can do is avoid these people and pray regularly that God will keep us from becoming like the world around us. The danger of cultural pressure is high, we must be vigilant in protecting ourselves from acquiescence, that is reluctantly accepting what is around us to avoid rejection.
We are always at risk of giving in to be accepted by others even when we do not want to agree.
The challenge is learning how to love others while they are disrespecting us. When we realize those who rage at others for disagreements are weak in their soul and in need of Jesus Christ we can remove ourselves without any desire to win over them.
Silence is golden when it prevents us from engaging with someone who has no interest in discussing a matter in which both parties have their say.
Narcissists cannot love those who do not think the way they do, do the things they do or say the things they say. Their false love is based on whether or not we elevate them and agree with everything they believe.
God's love is unconditional, it is not based on our performance, it is based on His sacrifice on the cross and our acceptance of Him. Those who do not accept Him will not have His protection because they are not a part of His family. Everyone who trusts in Christ will have His protection and His love.
1 John 4:7
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God."
We do not love people because they love us, we love them because God told us to love.
Sometimes our love is spurned and we must remove ourselves until there is repentance and a desire to reconcile. It is vitally important that we remember we cannot change anyone else, we can only change ourselves.
1 John 5:3 "“This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome.”
To understand God's way of loving people we must know His Word, the Bible. We cannot love God's way until we know His Word.

Sunday, September 24, 2023

Not Shaken and Growing Stronger

People are desturbed not by the things that happen to them but by the view they have of those things. When we trust Christ we are not shaken by what happens to us.
Romans 8:28
"28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
Remember when someone disrespects you it is not because of you but a display of their own thoughts, feelings, and fears. Their reactions to you are not a reflection of our value or worth.
Their disrespect does not have to affect our emotional state, we can remain calm when we know this about them.
If we self-reflect often to make sure we are walking upright then we will not be blind-sided by those who are disrespectful.
2 Corinthians 13:5 "5Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Can’t you see for yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you— unless you actually fail the test? "
1 Corinthians 11:28
"Each one must examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup."
Notice too that the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our actions. Those who are kind and loving on the inside will not be rude and unkind on the outside. If someone is chronically rude and superior acting then we know they have arrogance and ruthlessness on the inside.
Loving and kind people are always striving to improve our thoughts and actions. The joyfulness of our lives focused on Christ determines the quality of our thoughts. Do those thoughts mesh with the principles of Christ or are they determined by the world?
If we are treated disrespectfully we can examine ourselves to see if we did something or said something worthy of the disrespect. We can do this without being devastated by the need to self-reflect. We can logically and unemotionally face the possibility that we need to correct something. It is pride that prevents people from freely self-reflecting to improve their character.
We cannot change another person, but we can change ourselves through prayer and the desire to be taught and changed by Christ.
We must be objective about ourselves without emotions in order to grow in holiness. Our responses must be based on rational judgment rather than emotional responses.
This process helps us learn from situations while becoming more aware of the teachings of life promoting personal growth and wisdom. Those who refuse to examine themselves cannot grow, they remain spiritual and emotional infants.
When we become angry instead of self-reflecting we have developed and increased a bad habit of angst that will not go away until there is repentance.
Poor decisions come from a lack of self-control and anger comes from a self-willed position of superiority. We unnecessarily suffer from this stubborn stance as well as making others suffer from our own impulsive fierce raging.
Galatians 5:22-23 - "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
It is vital that when we are disrespected we remember that it isn't personal to us, it is a reaction of the one who disrepects because of the fear that is inside of them. They fear losing control over others, they fear not being loved because they do not love others.
We need to treat others with the respect they did not show us.
Luke 6:27-28 "27But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. "
We must remain dignified even if no one else does. Our dignity is not based on how others treat us and we don't have to respond to them the way they did to us.
Defensiveness shows a weakness of character. When we know our character is not based on what others think of us we can detach from the nasty reactions of weak people and love them anyway, the way they don't love us. This is not to say we become good friends, but life is full of circumstances in which we must be in the company of unkind and unloving people. We cannot allow them to turn us into them.
We are observers in life learning wonderful lessons from God when we watch actions and reactions without responding according to our feelings.
Meditate constantly on what is right from God's Word, it will be our strength through everything we endure in this world. We learn great lessons as if in a boot camp, that make us strong and impervious to attacks of the enemy.
Let us develop courage instead of fear and reaction. We must be reasonable, rational, and calm, this allows us to be unaffected by what comes at us.
Ephesians 6:10-18
The Armor of God
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.
11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, having belted your waist with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,
15 and having strapped on your feet the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
By focusing on the principles of Christ and what He wants us to be we can avoid being influenced by our own emotions while maintaining our dignity as we grow spiritually and emotionally.
We must accept what we cannot change. We cannot change a disrespectful person but we can refuse to become like them by focusing on God's principles for our lives.
We must learn to refuse to grieve over those who hate us and rejoice for all that God has done for us.
Romans 12:12
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
Do not take seriously those things that are foolishly attempting to cause anger in us. Perhaps even laughing at the devil when he uses people to demean us.
Setting clear boundaries with people in this out-of-control world will help us discern who is able to be reached with the truth and who is not, the Holy Spirit will help us with this.
Remain calm as you tell the rude person what they did wrong and how they must treat you. If they refuse to listen and enjoy their disrespect of you then you are free to exclude them from your lives.
Those who are self-absorbed are not able to look more deeply into the other person in front of them. They only see their own point of view and are enraged if it is not accepted, or even if there is a desire to have a deeper conversation about the matter.
Self-absorbed people never ask you to explain your point of view. They do not think deeply about anything because they live by their feelings and defending those feelings comes before everything else. Reason and rational discussion is not in the mind of the self-absorbed person.
These people do not learn or grow emotionally or spiritually, they walk around like bratty six-year-olds refusing to hear instructions or correction.
Correcting a self-absorbed person is like beating your head against a brick wall expecting the wall to crack, it's only the head that cracks.
Disrespect is clearly the ignorance of the one who is insolent, and childlike in their thinking and response to minor things.
Proverbs 18:1-3 "1 He who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound judgment. 2 A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in airing his opinions. 3 With a wicked man comes contempt as well, and shame is accompanied by disgrace.…"
Proverbs 29:8-10 "…8 Mockers inflame a city, but the wise turn away anger. 9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"
Let's become strong while disallowing others to determine our responses by becoming Christ-like no matter what anyone else is doing.

Defend Your Boundaries

Don't be afraid to say no to those who wish to cross your boundaries, they will distract you from God's calling on your life.

Identify those who are resistant to the truth of God and distance yourself from them.

It won't work attempting to help someone who rejects the principles of Christ. They won't admit they need Jesus Christ.

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Amir Tsarfati: It's Going to Be Swift

Doing Not Saying

I remember the old saying: "your actions speak so loud I can't hear what you are saying."
Believe behavior not words!!!!

Be A Light | Lake Tahoe | Official Music Video | Redeemed Quartet