Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Loving God's Way

Because the narcissist is so focused on self it is agonizing to spend time with them. It is usually an unhappy experience because they have no joy or peace, they don't laugh or share anything of their own feelings or emotions.
If they are not bragging about their own life they have nothing to say. They have no interest in you or outside of their own materialism or adventure activities.
It is absolutely boring to spend time with people who are so invested in appearing accomplished and perfect that they are like robots.
They never help when asked, they will only help if it's their own idea and for the purpose of being noticed by others.
I am saddened by the fact that so many people in our culture are like this. They attempt to appear perfect while judging everyone else as unworthy of respect.
It is important that we evaluate ourselves to make sure we are not one of those who operate as though we are the most important and the smartest above others.
The only way to examine ourselves is through the lens of The Word of God. Everything we say and do must be measured according to the Bible. If we sincerely want to make sure we are walking with Christ in authenticity we must read the Word of God to discover His heart and obey what He says in His Word.
No one can truly evaluate themselves and still have a high opinion of their own goodness. Everywhere we turn in the scriptures are admonitions that help us to realize no one is without a need for change.
We live in a culture that fosters anger and resentment over silly things while acting on the rudeness in their hearts.
In order to evaluate our own hearts it is good to look at what God calls love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away."
Those who live with unloving people day after day are in danger of becoming like those they live with unless they actively study God's Word and pray for God to change their hearts from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh.
Colossians 3:14
"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
There is no harmony with a narcissist because there is no love. It takes love to develop a relationship with someone.
John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
One does not have to die to lay down their life, we do it by letting go of a competitive spirit and a superior mindset. When we love the way God told us to love we will not be looking continually for flaws to judge, we will be looking to help through understanding and humble conversation, listening more than we speak.
John 13:34-35
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have a love for one another.”
Many people are continually looking for something to complain about in those they dislike. The slightest disagreement is seen as a personal attack.
Many people in our culture are somewhat friendly when we agree with them but become ragingly infuriated when someone chooses their own path or disagrees with them. They can never ask questions like; "why do you think that way" or "What did you mean by that." To ask a question for clarification or to learn something new about the person is not on their radar, winning, even through mocking and intimidation is all these people care about.
It is impossible to have a relationship with those who elevate themselves to the level of godhood.
The best thing we can do is avoid these people and pray regularly that God will keep us from becoming like the world around us. The danger of cultural pressure is high, we must be vigilant in protecting ourselves from acquiescence, that is reluctantly accepting what is around us to avoid rejection.
We are always at risk of giving in to be accepted by others even when we do not want to agree.
The challenge is learning how to love others while they are disrespecting us. When we realize those who rage at others for disagreements are weak in their soul and in need of Jesus Christ we can remove ourselves without any desire to win over them.
Silence is golden when it prevents us from engaging with someone who has no interest in discussing a matter in which both parties have their say.
Narcissists cannot love those who do not think the way they do, do the things they do or say the things they say. Their false love is based on whether or not we elevate them and agree with everything they believe.
God's love is unconditional, it is not based on our performance, it is based on His sacrifice on the cross and our acceptance of Him. Those who do not accept Him will not have His protection because they are not a part of His family. Everyone who trusts in Christ will have His protection and His love.
1 John 4:7
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God."
We do not love people because they love us, we love them because God told us to love.
Sometimes our love is spurned and we must remove ourselves until there is repentance and a desire to reconcile. It is vitally important that we remember we cannot change anyone else, we can only change ourselves.
1 John 5:3 "“This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome.”
To understand God's way of loving people we must know His Word, the Bible. We cannot love God's way until we know His Word.

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