I had the privilege of visiting with a young man from India this week. He said that he had been married four years this next May. I asked him which day in May and he told me the date. His anniversary date is the day before ours in the same month. That was interesting, but the most interesting part of the conversation was how he found his wife, or should I say, had his wife presented to him.
He said to me that his father chose his wife for him, using the Word of God as his criteria for his choice. The young woman was chosen on the basis of her relationship with Christ. She was required to be a believer and walking with the Lord to be considered for marriage with the father’s son.
So often we as Americans think that something is terribly wrong when a parent “interferes” with the choice a child has made in a mate. Not only are we expected not to interfere, but we are chided and ridiculed if we make suggestions to our children as to the character of the person being considered.
American children choose their own spouses on the basis of “emotional love” not character, or for beauty or money, anything but character. To evaluate ones character is called “judging” an intolerable word these days to most.
Because our culture is brain washed into the mindset of “not judging” we have frightened ourselves into never correcting the youthful thinking that so dominates our society. We allow the youth to think silly things, so as not to harm their confidence or self esteem. They do not learn simple social graces and kindnesses because they are taught that whatever they do is alright as long as they like it.
This thinking has led to parents neglecting to evaluate a potential partner and if a problem is encountered we are expected to withhold our comments. If we do obey God and attempt to instruct we are chastised for it.
Has this worked for us?
I think not!
Fifty years ago it was the wicked fringe element that lived together in sin without the benefit of marriage. No one we knew was doing such a thing. There were those who were living in sin, but not many and never in the church.
Now we have most young people living together before they are married if they ever get married. We have babies being born out of wedlock more often than in marriage and millions of babies have been killed by abortion.
The divorce rate is off the charts, while the children are being brought up in single parent homes.
This is what all this tolerance has done for us. It has caused children to be abandoned, abused and aborted at an alarming rate.
Child abuse has escalated out of control; most of the perpetrators are the non-biological parents or live in lovers.
The young people of today have no concept of commitment to anything or anybody. Their idea of happiness is to eliminate anyone who causes them to have to sacrifice for them. Just “delete” them when we don’t like what they ask of us.
We need to ask ourselves what we have gained by all this selfishness and immorality. In our country the parents have stayed out of the way in the choice of the spouses of their children, did this bring greater stability for marriages and children? The answer is no, our families are a mess and getting worse all the time.
What we have in our culture now is proof that the young people were not mature or capable enough to choose their own spouse without the benefit of counsel.
What we have now if proof that without parental involvement in the choice of a spouse, young people lack the wisdom of life long experience in discerning the character of a person.
Not only have we abandoned the old world ways of preparing for marriage with the help of our parents, we do not consult God for His guidance on choosing a mate for life.
We have a mess but we don’t’ evaluate what we created or change anything. It reminds me of the saying. “The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.” Albert Einstein.
Did living together first, as the seventies crowd proclaimed, make a better marriage or successful relationship? The divorce rate among those who live together first is higher than those who do not. This is because when we live together first we are displaying a non-committal attitude; it is that attitude that destroys marriage and all relationships. The “bail out when it gets rough” mentality is no way to start any relationship.
The Biblical standard for marriage never leaves out the parental involvement of the children contemplating marriage. We have left the Biblical standard in the dust and are experiencing the consequences today for that foolishness.
The only hope for our country is for our culture to repent of abandoning God’s principles and begin to hold up the standard once again. This is a hard road because we parents will have to stand firm and even be rejected for our dedication to the Word of God. It is God’s approval we seek, if we love Him.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
When Righteousness Is Mocked Everyone Suffers
"Do not be conformed to this world.... Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." Romans 12:2, 9
"You love evil more than good...." Psalm 52:3
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness....
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
And prudent in their own sight!" Isaiah 5:20-21
"...you have polluted the land with your harlotries and your wickedness.
Therefore the showers have been withheld, and there has been no latter rain.
You have had a harlot’s forehead; You refuse to be ashamed." Isaiah 3:2-3
"How long, O you sons of men, will you turn my glory to shame?
How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood?" Psalm 4:2-3
"All those who hate me love death.” Proverb 8:36
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. " 2 Timothy 2:22-23
"He who walks righteously and speaks uprightly,
He who despises the gain of oppressions,
Who gestures with his hands, refusing bribes,
Who stops his ears from hearing of bloodshed,
And shuts his eyes from seeing evil:
He will dwell on high;
His place of defense will be the fortress of rocks...." Isaiah 33:15
"The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness." 2 Thessalonians 2:9-12
“Hear now, O heads of Jacob, and you rulers of the house of Israel:
Is it not for you to know justice? You who hate good and love evil..." Micah 3:1-2
“An astonishing and horrible thing has been committed in the land:
The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule by their own power;
And My people love to have it so. But what will you do in the end?" Jeremiah 5:30-31
“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Matthew 6:24
“But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you." John 5:42
"You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?" Galatians 5:6-7
"... who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed." 1 Peter 3:13-16
“How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge....
I have called and you refused,
I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded,
Because you disdained all my counsel, and would have none of my rebuke,
I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes,
When your terror comes like a storm, and your destruction comes like a whirlwind,
When distress and anguish come upon you.
Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;
They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.
Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord,
They would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke.
Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way,
And be filled to the full with their own fancies." Proverb 1:8-31
"A scoffer does not love one who corrects him..." Proverb 15:12
“They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, ‘Rabbi, Rabbi.’" Matthew 23:6-7
“Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come." Matthew 24:11-14
"But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." 1 Timothy 6:9-10
"Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." James 1:12-15
“He who would love life and see good days,
Let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.
Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:10-17
"Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you." 1 John 3:10
“...you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent." Revelation 2:3-6
"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:19-20
"Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things..." 2 Timothy 4:2-5
“...the Lord testified against Israel and against Judah, by all of His prophets... saying, 'Turn from your evil ways, and keep My commandments and My statutes....
"Nevertheless they would not hear, but stiffened their necks.... And they rejected His statutes and His covenant that He had made with their fathers, and His testimonies which He had testified against them; they followed idols, became idolaters, and went after the nations who were all around them, concerning whom the Lord had charged them that they should not do like them. So they left all the commandments of the Lord their God... and worshiped all the host of heaven, and served Baal. And they caused their sons and daughters to pass through the fire, practiced witchcraft and soothsaying, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the Lord, to provoke Him to anger. Therefore the Lord was very angry with Israel, and removed them from His sight; there was none left but the tribe of Judah alone.
“Also Judah did not keep the commandments of the Lord their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel which they made. And the Lord rejected all the descendants of Israel, afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of plunderers, until He had cast them from His sight." 2 Kings 17:13-20
“Then the king of Assyria brought people from Babylon, Cuthah, Ava, Hamath, and from Sepharvaim, and placed them in the cities of Samaria instead of the children of Israel; and they took possession of Samaria and dwelt in its cities. ...they did not fear the Lord; therefore the Lord sent lions among them, which killed some of them." 2 Kings 17:24-25
"...every nation continued to make gods of its own.... They feared the Lord, yet served their own gods—according to the rituals of the nations from among whom they were carried away." 2 Kings 17:29, 33
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
"You love evil more than good...." Psalm 52:3
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness....
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
And prudent in their own sight!" Isaiah 5:20-21
"...you have polluted the land with your harlotries and your wickedness.
Therefore the showers have been withheld, and there has been no latter rain.
You have had a harlot’s forehead; You refuse to be ashamed." Isaiah 3:2-3
"How long, O you sons of men, will you turn my glory to shame?
How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood?" Psalm 4:2-3
"All those who hate me love death.” Proverb 8:36
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. " 2 Timothy 2:22-23
"He who walks righteously and speaks uprightly,
He who despises the gain of oppressions,
Who gestures with his hands, refusing bribes,
Who stops his ears from hearing of bloodshed,
And shuts his eyes from seeing evil:
He will dwell on high;
His place of defense will be the fortress of rocks...." Isaiah 33:15
"The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness." 2 Thessalonians 2:9-12
“Hear now, O heads of Jacob, and you rulers of the house of Israel:
Is it not for you to know justice? You who hate good and love evil..." Micah 3:1-2
“An astonishing and horrible thing has been committed in the land:
The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule by their own power;
And My people love to have it so. But what will you do in the end?" Jeremiah 5:30-31
“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Matthew 6:24
“But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you." John 5:42
"You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?" Galatians 5:6-7
"... who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed." 1 Peter 3:13-16
“How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge....
I have called and you refused,
I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded,
Because you disdained all my counsel, and would have none of my rebuke,
I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes,
When your terror comes like a storm, and your destruction comes like a whirlwind,
When distress and anguish come upon you.
Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;
They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.
Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord,
They would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke.
Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way,
And be filled to the full with their own fancies." Proverb 1:8-31
"A scoffer does not love one who corrects him..." Proverb 15:12
“They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, ‘Rabbi, Rabbi.’" Matthew 23:6-7
“Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come." Matthew 24:11-14
"But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." 1 Timothy 6:9-10
"Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." James 1:12-15
“He who would love life and see good days,
Let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.
Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:10-17
"Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you." 1 John 3:10
“...you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent." Revelation 2:3-6
"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:19-20
"Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things..." 2 Timothy 4:2-5
“...the Lord testified against Israel and against Judah, by all of His prophets... saying, 'Turn from your evil ways, and keep My commandments and My statutes....
"Nevertheless they would not hear, but stiffened their necks.... And they rejected His statutes and His covenant that He had made with their fathers, and His testimonies which He had testified against them; they followed idols, became idolaters, and went after the nations who were all around them, concerning whom the Lord had charged them that they should not do like them. So they left all the commandments of the Lord their God... and worshiped all the host of heaven, and served Baal. And they caused their sons and daughters to pass through the fire, practiced witchcraft and soothsaying, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the Lord, to provoke Him to anger. Therefore the Lord was very angry with Israel, and removed them from His sight; there was none left but the tribe of Judah alone.
“Also Judah did not keep the commandments of the Lord their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel which they made. And the Lord rejected all the descendants of Israel, afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of plunderers, until He had cast them from His sight." 2 Kings 17:13-20
“Then the king of Assyria brought people from Babylon, Cuthah, Ava, Hamath, and from Sepharvaim, and placed them in the cities of Samaria instead of the children of Israel; and they took possession of Samaria and dwelt in its cities. ...they did not fear the Lord; therefore the Lord sent lions among them, which killed some of them." 2 Kings 17:24-25
"...every nation continued to make gods of its own.... They feared the Lord, yet served their own gods—according to the rituals of the nations from among whom they were carried away." 2 Kings 17:29, 33
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
Monday, February 14, 2011
Repentance and Forgiveness God's Way
Recently a thought has been nagging at me. I have been taught in our American Christian culture that forgiveness was to be extended even if the sinner was not sorry or repentant in any way. This tormented me because I was not seeing this principle in Scripture. I prayed and prayed as I sought an answer to this problem. Then I searched the Scriptures and the internet for verses and articles or books that would address another viewpoint than those that we have all been raised with for the last fifty years. The Lord had been telling me that what I was encountering in our culture was not forgiveness at all but human tradition.
Why was I so frustrated at the easy flippant form of forgiveness that I was experiencing all around me? I guess the reason was because I was not seeing it lead to greater holiness in the sinner or the forgiver. The one who carried out the sin felt nothing, they did not stop their sinning and there was no reconciliation for the tattered relationship. There wasn't any recompense for destroyed things or for attitudes. In other words, the idea of forgiveness was expressed in words, thrown into the air landing on nothing. They were empty words accomplishing little if even the base effect of relationship restoration. The offender was completely unaware of their own attitudes and the victim was left attempting to pretend friendliness to someone who was not sorry for their offense and would likely repeat the same offense again.
It has become considered rude in our culture to correct or rebuke someone no matter how wicked the actions may be. In the original languages of the Bible "rebuke" is a very strong word. Its effect can be one of restoration of a relationship, although this is rare in our culture, but it can cause greater holiness in both the victim and the offender. When there is repentance and then forgiveness extended, there is more likely a restored and intimate relationship with the parties involved. When we do not follow the scriptural mandates to go to those who have offended us and for those who have offended to repent, then we short-circuit the process of growth and the restoration of the relationship.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer understood the principles of God's way of restoring a relationship, not only our relationship to God but also to our fellow man. Mr. Bonhoeffer said:
"Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin."
When our Lord said on the cross, "Father forgive them." He was not asking for forgiveness for those who were not repentant, but desiring to extend forgiveness to anyone who would repent. We try to do away with the step of repentance in our culture, and because of this the neither the offended nor the offender grow and become stronger. When the offended must approach a sinner with their offense, they become stronger in the Lord, more concerned about the well being of the offender than about their own feelings. When the offender repents, they become more concerned also about the needs and desires of the person they have harmed than about their own desires. There is a growing process involved in the whole matter of relationship restoration.
We are a fast food culture; we want the problem to be solved quickly instead of waiting on the Lord to change a heart. We do not like to do difficult things that make us uncomfortable. Have we noticed that fast food has made us fat and lazy; it is no different with relationships. We are obsessed with our own comfort rather than deeply concerned about the spiritual well being of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
We no longer challenge anyone to greater holiness or a better job well done, as long as they and we feel good. What a terrible disservice we have perpetrated on our fellow man, to place their happiness and pleasure above their ultimate relationship with a Holy God and with their neighbor.
Proverbs 27:14 says, “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, It will be counted a curse to him.”
Have we forgotten Scriptures that say, "My brethren count it all joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience? But let patience have its perfect work, that you may perfect and complete lacking nothing." James 1:1-4
Proverbs 27:6 says “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
God says that “He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
When we find someone who is defensive about their sin, and runs and hides from those who would care deeply enough to expose it, then we have our clue about the guilt that plagues that person and the pride that dominates their very being.
God warns us that, “One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayers shall be an abomination.” Proverbs 28:9
Let us look to the Word of God for our advice and practice, rather than our culture. Next time we are challenged to do something in a certain traditional way, let’s ask, why do we do it that way and where does that idea come from. Then go to God’s Word and search the matter out to find out what God thinks about it.
.
Why was I so frustrated at the easy flippant form of forgiveness that I was experiencing all around me? I guess the reason was because I was not seeing it lead to greater holiness in the sinner or the forgiver. The one who carried out the sin felt nothing, they did not stop their sinning and there was no reconciliation for the tattered relationship. There wasn't any recompense for destroyed things or for attitudes. In other words, the idea of forgiveness was expressed in words, thrown into the air landing on nothing. They were empty words accomplishing little if even the base effect of relationship restoration. The offender was completely unaware of their own attitudes and the victim was left attempting to pretend friendliness to someone who was not sorry for their offense and would likely repeat the same offense again.
It has become considered rude in our culture to correct or rebuke someone no matter how wicked the actions may be. In the original languages of the Bible "rebuke" is a very strong word. Its effect can be one of restoration of a relationship, although this is rare in our culture, but it can cause greater holiness in both the victim and the offender. When there is repentance and then forgiveness extended, there is more likely a restored and intimate relationship with the parties involved. When we do not follow the scriptural mandates to go to those who have offended us and for those who have offended to repent, then we short-circuit the process of growth and the restoration of the relationship.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer understood the principles of God's way of restoring a relationship, not only our relationship to God but also to our fellow man. Mr. Bonhoeffer said:
"Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin."
When our Lord said on the cross, "Father forgive them." He was not asking for forgiveness for those who were not repentant, but desiring to extend forgiveness to anyone who would repent. We try to do away with the step of repentance in our culture, and because of this the neither the offended nor the offender grow and become stronger. When the offended must approach a sinner with their offense, they become stronger in the Lord, more concerned about the well being of the offender than about their own feelings. When the offender repents, they become more concerned also about the needs and desires of the person they have harmed than about their own desires. There is a growing process involved in the whole matter of relationship restoration.
We are a fast food culture; we want the problem to be solved quickly instead of waiting on the Lord to change a heart. We do not like to do difficult things that make us uncomfortable. Have we noticed that fast food has made us fat and lazy; it is no different with relationships. We are obsessed with our own comfort rather than deeply concerned about the spiritual well being of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
We no longer challenge anyone to greater holiness or a better job well done, as long as they and we feel good. What a terrible disservice we have perpetrated on our fellow man, to place their happiness and pleasure above their ultimate relationship with a Holy God and with their neighbor.
Proverbs 27:14 says, “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, It will be counted a curse to him.”
Have we forgotten Scriptures that say, "My brethren count it all joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience? But let patience have its perfect work, that you may perfect and complete lacking nothing." James 1:1-4
Proverbs 27:6 says “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
God says that “He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
When we find someone who is defensive about their sin, and runs and hides from those who would care deeply enough to expose it, then we have our clue about the guilt that plagues that person and the pride that dominates their very being.
God warns us that, “One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayers shall be an abomination.” Proverbs 28:9
Let us look to the Word of God for our advice and practice, rather than our culture. Next time we are challenged to do something in a certain traditional way, let’s ask, why do we do it that way and where does that idea come from. Then go to God’s Word and search the matter out to find out what God thinks about it.
.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The Progression
.by Gwendolyn Hansen Wehage on Wednesday, December 22, 2010 at 12:11pm.
Last night my husband and I watched the movie, "Fiddler on the Roof." We enjoyed the movie and the music very much. It seemed that there were two dominate themes throughout the movie that would describe prophetic philisophical events in the lives of the Jewish people that can also be ascribed to the gentiles in that generation, as well as a progression of postures we have seen in the generation of the 1970's and beyond.
In the story, there were three daughters who were of marriagable age. In this Jewish culture there was a woman who was assigned the job of presenting eligable men to the parents of the unmarried children, for consideration as possilbe matches. The matches were not based on "29 dementions of compatibility" but on their character and financial standing. And, most of all, they must be of the same religious persuasion.
There was a strong Jewish tradition that was designed to protect the children from mistakes that could be made out of youthful ignorance and inexperience. The movie has the usual Hollywood spin in the spirit of emancipation. I think, that when this movie was made those who wrote it may not have realized that the picture they painted, was a picture of rebellion and selfwill and it's progression of events that led to family strife.
In the movie the three daughters dreamed about the man they might marry, and agonized over the man the matchmaker might bring them. Their fear that they would have to marry someone they didn't love, was at times overwhelming. The eldest daughter had already chosen her own match without the benefit of the matchmaker. She experienced a great deal of anxiety over the prospect of having to tell her father that she did not want to marry the man the matchmaker had provided. But had in fact already decided who she wanted to marry. With much trepidation she approached her father in humility asking him not to make her marry the man the matchmaker had chosen. She fell at his feet begging him with tears. She knew that it was vitally important that she have her father's permission and blessing for the man she would marry. Her father, after reflecting on the character of the man she desired, and her love for that man, relented and gave her the permission and blessing she sought.
The second daughter also, wanting to make her own choice for a husband, went to her father to inform him of her decision to marry her gentleman. She made it clear that she was not asking her father's permission but that she did want his blessing.
The Third daughter found a husband for herself that violated the very fibre of the family by choosing to marry outside the Jewish faith. She did not ask permission or blessing, but only wanted her father's acceptance. She married secretly when her father's answer to her request was denied. He said that in her case, she had gone too far in her rebellion against her father's faith. She could not be even accepted. What she had done was the height of disrespect and rejection of the father's possition in the family while at the same time turning her back on her faith.
Notice the progression here. The three daughters desired to make their own decisions about marriage, each one having already chosen, but each one stepping one step farther than the other to accomplish thier wills. The first daughter could not bring herself to disobey her father, whom she loved and desired to please. She appealed to him in humility and was not about to defy him. When he gave his permission and blessing, she fell on his neck and thanked him for his kindness to her.
The second daughter stepped one pace away from honoring her father by asserting herself without humility but desireing her father's blessing even though she cared not about his permission.
The Third daughter stepped two paces away from honoring her father by asserting herself without humility or even respect for him. She proceeded without his permission, blessing and respect for his possition as the leader in the family and informed him that she was married. She did not include him in the marriage in any way, she cared not about him or his tradition, but only about herself. After all of this, she asked for his acceptance, that she might be still in good standing in the family.
The father bent a little in the case of the two older daughters, but when the younger one shattered all the rules of decorum and rejected the father's faith by marrying out of it, he could not bend anymore. He said that if he bent for this, he would break.
The story seemed to be describing our culture except that there has been a fourth step, and that is, as a culture we do not value the advice of the parents, nor do we care about their approval. We have taken the next step of considering our parents advice as interference instead of welcome wisdom that could spare us problems and heartaches. We have been blinded into thinking that everyone should make their own mistakes without benefit of counsel. The children of the 70's and beyond have spirned the wisdom of their parents and are going on to make a mess of their lives. Divorce, remarriage, abortion, losing their homes for massive debt and much more.
Sadly this progression has led to unruly and arrogant grandchildren who do not understand the value of parents or grandparents. The children of the seventies are raising these children now and all this rebellion will come back to bite them when they are in the grandparent stage. It is the fault of the parents of the 70's, they fell into the deception of the "self esteem" teaching and are reaping the rotten fruit of that now.
The next stage or step, is for the next generation of children to disrespect their parents to such a degree as to have them put to death for the sake of convenience. There will not be children to take care of the elderly because they have been raised to resist any inconvenience or difficulty. Life is about fun and pleasure for this generation and this is what they are teaching their children. It's all very fun right now, but it will bring heartache later, when they realize that the children have not learned to work, sacrifice or serve for anyone else. It is no wonder that the evils we see in our culture are escallating at an alarming rate. Our young people are hyper-sensitive to correction, therefore they can not learn from their mistakes.
In the movie, the father and mother of the girls, were introduced to each other on their wedding day. They had no say in the marriage and obediently married in defference to their parents. Their love grew out of a commitment to one another and from working through life together willingly. Their love was one of a deeper more lasting nature. A choice to love for God's sake rather than emotional infatuation.
Notice that we choose our spouses today and fall in love, but our marriages do not last, while the children of these marriages live in emotional trumoil. Moving from house to house on the weekends, they don't have two homes, they have no home at all. Then they are also faced with the boyfriends and girlfriends of their parents who very often abuse them either verbally or physically. The statistics show that most abuse is perpetrated by the non-biological parent or live in partner. When love is a feeling and not a commitment, it is devestating to our children and grandchildren and to our country as a whole. Stability is non-existant, fear abounds along with sadness and lonliness. Our culture is a wreck because of our individualistic attitudes and emotional gratification.
We must repent from our willful acceptance of the self-esteem teaching and ask the Lord to work in the hearts of our young people. We are losing our country quickly due to this attitude of rebellion. If we do not repent as a nation we will lose all the freedoms that we have known. Perhaps losing everything will bring us to our senses and out of our materialistic and pleasure oriented stupor.
Here is where we are right now in our country,
2 Timothy 3:1
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power, And from such people turn away!"
Here is where we should be,
Matthew 9:13
"But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I did not come to call the righteous to repentance, but sinners to repentance."
.
Last night my husband and I watched the movie, "Fiddler on the Roof." We enjoyed the movie and the music very much. It seemed that there were two dominate themes throughout the movie that would describe prophetic philisophical events in the lives of the Jewish people that can also be ascribed to the gentiles in that generation, as well as a progression of postures we have seen in the generation of the 1970's and beyond.
In the story, there were three daughters who were of marriagable age. In this Jewish culture there was a woman who was assigned the job of presenting eligable men to the parents of the unmarried children, for consideration as possilbe matches. The matches were not based on "29 dementions of compatibility" but on their character and financial standing. And, most of all, they must be of the same religious persuasion.
There was a strong Jewish tradition that was designed to protect the children from mistakes that could be made out of youthful ignorance and inexperience. The movie has the usual Hollywood spin in the spirit of emancipation. I think, that when this movie was made those who wrote it may not have realized that the picture they painted, was a picture of rebellion and selfwill and it's progression of events that led to family strife.
In the movie the three daughters dreamed about the man they might marry, and agonized over the man the matchmaker might bring them. Their fear that they would have to marry someone they didn't love, was at times overwhelming. The eldest daughter had already chosen her own match without the benefit of the matchmaker. She experienced a great deal of anxiety over the prospect of having to tell her father that she did not want to marry the man the matchmaker had provided. But had in fact already decided who she wanted to marry. With much trepidation she approached her father in humility asking him not to make her marry the man the matchmaker had chosen. She fell at his feet begging him with tears. She knew that it was vitally important that she have her father's permission and blessing for the man she would marry. Her father, after reflecting on the character of the man she desired, and her love for that man, relented and gave her the permission and blessing she sought.
The second daughter also, wanting to make her own choice for a husband, went to her father to inform him of her decision to marry her gentleman. She made it clear that she was not asking her father's permission but that she did want his blessing.
The Third daughter found a husband for herself that violated the very fibre of the family by choosing to marry outside the Jewish faith. She did not ask permission or blessing, but only wanted her father's acceptance. She married secretly when her father's answer to her request was denied. He said that in her case, she had gone too far in her rebellion against her father's faith. She could not be even accepted. What she had done was the height of disrespect and rejection of the father's possition in the family while at the same time turning her back on her faith.
Notice the progression here. The three daughters desired to make their own decisions about marriage, each one having already chosen, but each one stepping one step farther than the other to accomplish thier wills. The first daughter could not bring herself to disobey her father, whom she loved and desired to please. She appealed to him in humility and was not about to defy him. When he gave his permission and blessing, she fell on his neck and thanked him for his kindness to her.
The second daughter stepped one pace away from honoring her father by asserting herself without humility but desireing her father's blessing even though she cared not about his permission.
The Third daughter stepped two paces away from honoring her father by asserting herself without humility or even respect for him. She proceeded without his permission, blessing and respect for his possition as the leader in the family and informed him that she was married. She did not include him in the marriage in any way, she cared not about him or his tradition, but only about herself. After all of this, she asked for his acceptance, that she might be still in good standing in the family.
The father bent a little in the case of the two older daughters, but when the younger one shattered all the rules of decorum and rejected the father's faith by marrying out of it, he could not bend anymore. He said that if he bent for this, he would break.
The story seemed to be describing our culture except that there has been a fourth step, and that is, as a culture we do not value the advice of the parents, nor do we care about their approval. We have taken the next step of considering our parents advice as interference instead of welcome wisdom that could spare us problems and heartaches. We have been blinded into thinking that everyone should make their own mistakes without benefit of counsel. The children of the 70's and beyond have spirned the wisdom of their parents and are going on to make a mess of their lives. Divorce, remarriage, abortion, losing their homes for massive debt and much more.
Sadly this progression has led to unruly and arrogant grandchildren who do not understand the value of parents or grandparents. The children of the seventies are raising these children now and all this rebellion will come back to bite them when they are in the grandparent stage. It is the fault of the parents of the 70's, they fell into the deception of the "self esteem" teaching and are reaping the rotten fruit of that now.
The next stage or step, is for the next generation of children to disrespect their parents to such a degree as to have them put to death for the sake of convenience. There will not be children to take care of the elderly because they have been raised to resist any inconvenience or difficulty. Life is about fun and pleasure for this generation and this is what they are teaching their children. It's all very fun right now, but it will bring heartache later, when they realize that the children have not learned to work, sacrifice or serve for anyone else. It is no wonder that the evils we see in our culture are escallating at an alarming rate. Our young people are hyper-sensitive to correction, therefore they can not learn from their mistakes.
In the movie, the father and mother of the girls, were introduced to each other on their wedding day. They had no say in the marriage and obediently married in defference to their parents. Their love grew out of a commitment to one another and from working through life together willingly. Their love was one of a deeper more lasting nature. A choice to love for God's sake rather than emotional infatuation.
Notice that we choose our spouses today and fall in love, but our marriages do not last, while the children of these marriages live in emotional trumoil. Moving from house to house on the weekends, they don't have two homes, they have no home at all. Then they are also faced with the boyfriends and girlfriends of their parents who very often abuse them either verbally or physically. The statistics show that most abuse is perpetrated by the non-biological parent or live in partner. When love is a feeling and not a commitment, it is devestating to our children and grandchildren and to our country as a whole. Stability is non-existant, fear abounds along with sadness and lonliness. Our culture is a wreck because of our individualistic attitudes and emotional gratification.
We must repent from our willful acceptance of the self-esteem teaching and ask the Lord to work in the hearts of our young people. We are losing our country quickly due to this attitude of rebellion. If we do not repent as a nation we will lose all the freedoms that we have known. Perhaps losing everything will bring us to our senses and out of our materialistic and pleasure oriented stupor.
Here is where we are right now in our country,
2 Timothy 3:1
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power, And from such people turn away!"
Here is where we should be,
Matthew 9:13
"But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I did not come to call the righteous to repentance, but sinners to repentance."
.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Love God's Way
Cross Ministry Blog http://thecrossministry.org/blog/how-to-renew-your-love-for-christ/01.22.2007/#more-60
How to Renew Your Love for Christ
One of the greatest problems in the Christian life is losing our fervent love for Jesus Christ. We can gradually drift away from the wholehearted and fervent love commitment to Christ without consciously realizing what is happening. This is why the author of Hebrews warned us:
“Encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still ‘today,’ lest
And one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13)
Losing your love for Christ can be a slow and silent process which goes on unnoticed until the bitter fruits “suddenly” appear. It would be better to set up an “early warning system” which would reveal the process to us than to wake up with the problem upon us.
I.The Problem: A Lost Love (Rev. 2:1-4)
Rev 2:1 Unto the angel of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks;
Rev 2:2 I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars:
Rev 2:3 And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast labored, and hast not fainted.
Rev 2:4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.
A.You may be very active in church work but still lose your love for Christ (v. 2a).
B.You may live a separated life and have Christian friends but still lose your love for Christ (v. 2b).
C.You may be zealous in defending the truth against all heresies but still lose your love for Christ (v. 2c).
D.You may “keep the faith” in spite of persecution but still lose your love for Christ (v.3).
Conclusion:
Everything externally is properly in place but Internally your love for Christ is gone or weak.
II.How to Discern the Problem: Discern the process by learning the signs of losing your love for Christ. Identify it early and deal with it seriously.
Twenty-five Signs of a Lost Love
1.When you lack concern for the problem.
2.When you switch primary and secondary motives
Primary Motive Secondary Motive
Love to Christ Love for people
John 14:15 Duty to God
John 14:23 Dedication to church
Fear of shame/embarrassment
Guilt feelings/keeping up appearances
(Joh 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
Joh 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.)
3.When you no longer yearn for or delight in private times of communion with Christ.
4.When your thoughts no longer fly to spiritual things when your mind is free but they fly instead to self or sin.
5.When you begin to excuse “little sins” as a matter of personality or situation.
6.When you regret giving your tithes and offerings and begin to cut back due to greed.
7.When you allow bitterness to arise through failed expectations and violated rights.
8.When you gossip or slander and ignore Matthew 18:15-20.
Mat 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Mat 18:16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
Mat 18:17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.
Mat 18:18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Mat 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them
9.When you begin to let witnessing opportunities slip by due to feeling embarrassed or “funny”
10.When you hold grudges and “cannot” forgive others.
11.When you feel uncomfortable around spiritual Christians and cannot look them in the eyes.
12.When you associate with “carnal Christians” who, like you, avoid spiritual discussions which search the conscience.
13.When you compete with other Christians for power or recognition.
14.When you “cannot” be transparently honest with others but wear a “mask” of spirituality.
15.When you no longer “feel” God’s love (Rom. 5:5;Jude 21)
Rom 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Jud 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
16.When you do not see specific answers to your prayers.
17.when you pray in generalities instead of praying specifically.
18.When you experience general moodiness, anxiety, depression and insecurity.
19.When you are quick to seek advice from people instead of going to Christ.
20.When you start losing your temper and are impatient with others.
21.When you placate your conscience by “feeling bad” about your lack of spirituality but do not go on to take positive steps of repentance.
22.When you return to the sins of preconversion days.
23.When you feel no compassion or concern for others.
24.When you complain and murmur.
25.When you are defensive when others exhort you about your backsliding.
III.How to cure the problem: Twelve Cures
1.Get right with God by confession and repentance (Prov. 28:13; 1 John 1:9)
Pro 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
1Jo 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
2.Recommit yourself to Christ (Rom. 12:1-2)
Rom 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3.Get right with those against whom you have sinned or toward whom you have been unforgiving and bitter (Matt. 5:23-24; 18:15-17; Eph. 4:31-32).
Mat 5:23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee;
Mat 5:24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
Mat 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Mat 18:16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
Mat 18:17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.
Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
4.Get alone and meditate on the kind of Christian life you used to experience when your love for Christ was fervent: “Remember from where you have fallen” (Rev. 2:5a).
Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
5.Repent of what you have become (Rev. 2:5b).
Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
6.Repeat the activities which grew out of your first love(Rev. 2:5c)
Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
7.Read exciting and inspiring Christian books, particularly biographies (Jude 20).
Jud 1:20 But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,
8. Confess the problem to the church and ask for prayer (James 5:16).
Jam 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
9. Associate with spiritual people.
10. Fast and pray.
11. Spend time in private worship by listening to Christian music which both inspiries and humbles you (1 Sam. 16:14-23;cf. Col. 3:15-16)
1Sa 16:14 But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him.
1Sa 16:15 And Saul’s servants said unto him, Behold now, an evil spirit from God troubleth thee.
1Sa 16:16 Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on a harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well.
1Sa 16:17 And Saul said unto his servants, Provide me now a man that can play well, and bring him to me.
1Sa 16:18 Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the LORD is with him.
1Sa 16:19 Wherefore Saul sent messengers unto Jesse, and said, Send me David thy son, which is with the sheep.
1Sa 16:20 And Jesse took an ass laden with bread, and a bottle of wine, and a kid, and sent them by David his son unto Saul.
1Sa 16:21 And David came to Saul, and stood before him: and he loved him greatly; and he became his armor bearer.
1Sa 16:22 And Saul sent to Jesse, saying, Let David, I pray thee, stand before me; for he hath found favor in my sight.
1Sa 16:23 And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took a harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed, and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him. Col 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
12. Go and witness to non-Christians (Rescue missions, door-to-door visitation, neighbors, etc.).
Conclusion
Our love to the Lord Jesus must be constantly reaffirmed as the main motivation in the Christian life. We should love Him, for He first loved us!
How to Renew Your Love for Christ
One of the greatest problems in the Christian life is losing our fervent love for Jesus Christ. We can gradually drift away from the wholehearted and fervent love commitment to Christ without consciously realizing what is happening. This is why the author of Hebrews warned us:
“Encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still ‘today,’ lest
And one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13)
Losing your love for Christ can be a slow and silent process which goes on unnoticed until the bitter fruits “suddenly” appear. It would be better to set up an “early warning system” which would reveal the process to us than to wake up with the problem upon us.
I.The Problem: A Lost Love (Rev. 2:1-4)
Rev 2:1 Unto the angel of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks;
Rev 2:2 I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars:
Rev 2:3 And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast labored, and hast not fainted.
Rev 2:4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.
A.You may be very active in church work but still lose your love for Christ (v. 2a).
B.You may live a separated life and have Christian friends but still lose your love for Christ (v. 2b).
C.You may be zealous in defending the truth against all heresies but still lose your love for Christ (v. 2c).
D.You may “keep the faith” in spite of persecution but still lose your love for Christ (v.3).
Conclusion:
Everything externally is properly in place but Internally your love for Christ is gone or weak.
II.How to Discern the Problem: Discern the process by learning the signs of losing your love for Christ. Identify it early and deal with it seriously.
Twenty-five Signs of a Lost Love
1.When you lack concern for the problem.
2.When you switch primary and secondary motives
Primary Motive Secondary Motive
Love to Christ Love for people
John 14:15 Duty to God
John 14:23 Dedication to church
Fear of shame/embarrassment
Guilt feelings/keeping up appearances
(Joh 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
Joh 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.)
3.When you no longer yearn for or delight in private times of communion with Christ.
4.When your thoughts no longer fly to spiritual things when your mind is free but they fly instead to self or sin.
5.When you begin to excuse “little sins” as a matter of personality or situation.
6.When you regret giving your tithes and offerings and begin to cut back due to greed.
7.When you allow bitterness to arise through failed expectations and violated rights.
8.When you gossip or slander and ignore Matthew 18:15-20.
Mat 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Mat 18:16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
Mat 18:17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.
Mat 18:18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Mat 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them
9.When you begin to let witnessing opportunities slip by due to feeling embarrassed or “funny”
10.When you hold grudges and “cannot” forgive others.
11.When you feel uncomfortable around spiritual Christians and cannot look them in the eyes.
12.When you associate with “carnal Christians” who, like you, avoid spiritual discussions which search the conscience.
13.When you compete with other Christians for power or recognition.
14.When you “cannot” be transparently honest with others but wear a “mask” of spirituality.
15.When you no longer “feel” God’s love (Rom. 5:5;Jude 21)
Rom 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Jud 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
16.When you do not see specific answers to your prayers.
17.when you pray in generalities instead of praying specifically.
18.When you experience general moodiness, anxiety, depression and insecurity.
19.When you are quick to seek advice from people instead of going to Christ.
20.When you start losing your temper and are impatient with others.
21.When you placate your conscience by “feeling bad” about your lack of spirituality but do not go on to take positive steps of repentance.
22.When you return to the sins of preconversion days.
23.When you feel no compassion or concern for others.
24.When you complain and murmur.
25.When you are defensive when others exhort you about your backsliding.
III.How to cure the problem: Twelve Cures
1.Get right with God by confession and repentance (Prov. 28:13; 1 John 1:9)
Pro 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
1Jo 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
2.Recommit yourself to Christ (Rom. 12:1-2)
Rom 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3.Get right with those against whom you have sinned or toward whom you have been unforgiving and bitter (Matt. 5:23-24; 18:15-17; Eph. 4:31-32).
Mat 5:23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee;
Mat 5:24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
Mat 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Mat 18:16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
Mat 18:17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.
Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
4.Get alone and meditate on the kind of Christian life you used to experience when your love for Christ was fervent: “Remember from where you have fallen” (Rev. 2:5a).
Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
5.Repent of what you have become (Rev. 2:5b).
Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
6.Repeat the activities which grew out of your first love(Rev. 2:5c)
Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
7.Read exciting and inspiring Christian books, particularly biographies (Jude 20).
Jud 1:20 But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,
8. Confess the problem to the church and ask for prayer (James 5:16).
Jam 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
9. Associate with spiritual people.
10. Fast and pray.
11. Spend time in private worship by listening to Christian music which both inspiries and humbles you (1 Sam. 16:14-23;cf. Col. 3:15-16)
1Sa 16:14 But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him.
1Sa 16:15 And Saul’s servants said unto him, Behold now, an evil spirit from God troubleth thee.
1Sa 16:16 Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on a harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well.
1Sa 16:17 And Saul said unto his servants, Provide me now a man that can play well, and bring him to me.
1Sa 16:18 Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the LORD is with him.
1Sa 16:19 Wherefore Saul sent messengers unto Jesse, and said, Send me David thy son, which is with the sheep.
1Sa 16:20 And Jesse took an ass laden with bread, and a bottle of wine, and a kid, and sent them by David his son unto Saul.
1Sa 16:21 And David came to Saul, and stood before him: and he loved him greatly; and he became his armor bearer.
1Sa 16:22 And Saul sent to Jesse, saying, Let David, I pray thee, stand before me; for he hath found favor in my sight.
1Sa 16:23 And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took a harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed, and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him. Col 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
12. Go and witness to non-Christians (Rescue missions, door-to-door visitation, neighbors, etc.).
Conclusion
Our love to the Lord Jesus must be constantly reaffirmed as the main motivation in the Christian life. We should love Him, for He first loved us!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Christian Hospitality What Does It Look Like
CHRISTIAN HOSPITALITY
One of the greatest virtues of the Christian life is hospitality. The development of this character quality is one of the most important elements of spiritual maturity.
I. What is Christian Hospitality?
Definition: It is the opening of the heart and home to entertain friends and strangers with a view to ministering to their physical and spiritual needs in the name of Christ.
A. The words, “opening the heart” refer to your attitude about having people in your home.
What is your attitude when people come into your home?
Happy or sad
Gracious or resentful
Warm or cold
Pliable or stiff
Joyful or angry
Friendly or rude
Here’s some probing Questions
Do you make people feel “at home” in your home?
Do they feel welcome?
Do your guests feel comfortable in your home?
Do you view them as invited guests or as intruders?
Do guests brighten or spoil your day?
Do you resent unexpected company?
Do you complain or murmur about people coming?
Do you feel “imposed upon” and “used”?
B. The words, “opening of the home,” mean that you have an “open door” policy toward people in which the emphasis is not on the quality or condition of the furnishings or food but on creating a warm and friendlly atmosphere in the home. It is better to eat beans in a home where there is an atmosphere of love and acceptance than to eat a steak dinner in a home where there is an atmosphere of bitterness and resentfulness. Feeling welcomed and accepted has little to do with whether you are in a hovel or a palace. It is your attitude which determines whether or not your guests fill welcomed ( Prov. 17:1;21:9;25:24).
C. “With a view to ministering” means that the purpose of inviting people over to your home is to minister to them. Thus your purpose is not to impress people or show off your house or its furnishings. You should seek to be of benefit to them by providing a place, a time and an atmosphere where they can experience the joy of a Christian home and be led either to salvation or fellowship.
D. “Their physical needs” means that if someone needs a meal, provide it for them. Think of all the single adults who would love a home-cooked meal. Think of the sick or the elderly and their needs. There are those who need to “get away” from their home and could enjoy a time visiting and resting in your home. You could keep the children of a couple who need to get away as husband and wife (James 2:15-16; 1 John 3:17).
E. “In the name of Christ” means that you view your acts of hospitality as being done not only “in the name o the Lord” (Mk. 9:41) and “to the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31) but also “to the Lord” Himself in a personal way (Matt. 25:34-40).
Once this is understood, then a lack of hospitality or a poor attitude while engaged in hospitality must be viewed as a personal rejection of Christ Himself. How you treat the Lord’s people is the surest proof of how you really feel about the Lord Himself. A consistent lack of hospitality is viewed by Christ as the clearest proof that a person is not saved but is destined for eternal punishment (Matt. 25:41-46). When you resent having people in your home, Christ takes this resentment personally.
II. Who is Supposed to be Hospitable?
A. Because hospitality is such an important virtue, the Elders must exemplify this character trait (1 Tim. 3:2; Tit. 1:8). Their home must be open to the needs of people. A man who does not like people in his home or who is not able to make people feel welcomed is not suited for the office of Elder. The same holds true for any leadership position in the Church (1 Tim. 5:10). The character trait of hospitality is an essential requirement for leadership. All leaders are to be role models for the rest of the congregation to follow ( 1 Tim. 4:12; 1 Pet. 5:1-4).
B. All believers should develop the virtue of hospitality (Rom. 12:13; Heb. 13:2; 1 Pet. 4:9). From the Old Testament (Gen. 10) to the New Testament (Philemon), godliness and hospitality have been synonymous. All of us have been called to minister to others. Jesus has left us the example and pattern to follow (1 John 2:6; 3:16-18; Rom. 15:3 etc.).
Conclusion
The Key to Hospitality
A right attitude + consistent action = a godly habit.
A godly habit + time = a Christ-like character quality.
Taken from "Cross Ministry"
One of the greatest virtues of the Christian life is hospitality. The development of this character quality is one of the most important elements of spiritual maturity.
I. What is Christian Hospitality?
Definition: It is the opening of the heart and home to entertain friends and strangers with a view to ministering to their physical and spiritual needs in the name of Christ.
A. The words, “opening the heart” refer to your attitude about having people in your home.
What is your attitude when people come into your home?
Happy or sad
Gracious or resentful
Warm or cold
Pliable or stiff
Joyful or angry
Friendly or rude
Here’s some probing Questions
Do you make people feel “at home” in your home?
Do they feel welcome?
Do your guests feel comfortable in your home?
Do you view them as invited guests or as intruders?
Do guests brighten or spoil your day?
Do you resent unexpected company?
Do you complain or murmur about people coming?
Do you feel “imposed upon” and “used”?
B. The words, “opening of the home,” mean that you have an “open door” policy toward people in which the emphasis is not on the quality or condition of the furnishings or food but on creating a warm and friendlly atmosphere in the home. It is better to eat beans in a home where there is an atmosphere of love and acceptance than to eat a steak dinner in a home where there is an atmosphere of bitterness and resentfulness. Feeling welcomed and accepted has little to do with whether you are in a hovel or a palace. It is your attitude which determines whether or not your guests fill welcomed ( Prov. 17:1;21:9;25:24).
C. “With a view to ministering” means that the purpose of inviting people over to your home is to minister to them. Thus your purpose is not to impress people or show off your house or its furnishings. You should seek to be of benefit to them by providing a place, a time and an atmosphere where they can experience the joy of a Christian home and be led either to salvation or fellowship.
D. “Their physical needs” means that if someone needs a meal, provide it for them. Think of all the single adults who would love a home-cooked meal. Think of the sick or the elderly and their needs. There are those who need to “get away” from their home and could enjoy a time visiting and resting in your home. You could keep the children of a couple who need to get away as husband and wife (James 2:15-16; 1 John 3:17).
E. “In the name of Christ” means that you view your acts of hospitality as being done not only “in the name o the Lord” (Mk. 9:41) and “to the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31) but also “to the Lord” Himself in a personal way (Matt. 25:34-40).
Once this is understood, then a lack of hospitality or a poor attitude while engaged in hospitality must be viewed as a personal rejection of Christ Himself. How you treat the Lord’s people is the surest proof of how you really feel about the Lord Himself. A consistent lack of hospitality is viewed by Christ as the clearest proof that a person is not saved but is destined for eternal punishment (Matt. 25:41-46). When you resent having people in your home, Christ takes this resentment personally.
II. Who is Supposed to be Hospitable?
A. Because hospitality is such an important virtue, the Elders must exemplify this character trait (1 Tim. 3:2; Tit. 1:8). Their home must be open to the needs of people. A man who does not like people in his home or who is not able to make people feel welcomed is not suited for the office of Elder. The same holds true for any leadership position in the Church (1 Tim. 5:10). The character trait of hospitality is an essential requirement for leadership. All leaders are to be role models for the rest of the congregation to follow ( 1 Tim. 4:12; 1 Pet. 5:1-4).
B. All believers should develop the virtue of hospitality (Rom. 12:13; Heb. 13:2; 1 Pet. 4:9). From the Old Testament (Gen. 10) to the New Testament (Philemon), godliness and hospitality have been synonymous. All of us have been called to minister to others. Jesus has left us the example and pattern to follow (1 John 2:6; 3:16-18; Rom. 15:3 etc.).
Conclusion
The Key to Hospitality
A right attitude + consistent action = a godly habit.
A godly habit + time = a Christ-like character quality.
Taken from "Cross Ministry"
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother
In recent years I have been speaking with people who have been expressing sadness over the attitude of disrespect that their children and their children's spouses have displayed. Our culture has lost sight almost entirely of the 5th commandment.
Somehow adult children have acquired the idea that they no longer have to respect their parents or the parents of their spouse, once they are grown and out of the house.
The articles that I have been reading, tell a story of incredible rebellion against authority and the wisdom of the older generation.
The new generation of narcissisticly trained children of the self esteem doctrine are arrogant and disrespectful, not because they know more than their parents, but only because they have been trained to be self absorbed and think they know more.
They have been excessively praised by school, church and home, to the point that they believe they really do know it all and old people are stupid.
We are to blame for this as a culture, because we were more concerned about our children liking themselves. We forgot to teach them to "love others better than themselves" as Christ taught in His Word. The only road back to respect is through repentance as a nation as a whole. If we can not acknowledge that we have wickedly trained children to love themselves above everyone and everything else, then there is no hope for us. Because our children are in the process now of teaching their children to exhibit even more disrespect than they do, except for repentance we are doomed to live in a culture that puts it's elderly to death because they will be considered of no value to their children.
I would like to share with you an article that I found on the Internet that expresses what God thinks of all of this lack of respect in children and what His consequences are to those who will not repent.
Honor Father and Mother (Exodus 20:12)
by Darryl on July 26, 2009
This summer we’re working our way through the Ten Commandments, asking what they mean and how they apply to our lives today. We’re looking at them because of their uniqueness – because they are the only time in redemptive history that God himself spoke to all of his people assembled in one place. We’re also looking at them because Jesus reaffirmed many of these commands, therefore showing that they’re still relevant to us today thousands of years after they were given.
Today we’re looking at one that you may think doesn’t apply to you. You may think that nine apply, but this one is for others, specifically kids. The fifth commandment says:
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
So today I want to ask four simple questions:
What does this command teach?
What did Jesus say about this command?
What are some of the wider implications of this command?
How do we keep it?
First, what does this command teach?
I have some bad news for you if you think that this command doesn’t apply to you, because contrary to what some have thought, this is not a command that is only for children. This command was given to the entire national of Israel gathered at Sinai, most of whom were adults. In other words, this is a command given not just to kids but to adults as well. The command, regardless of your age, is this: honor your father and mother.
The word honor has the idea of weight. It carries the idea of not taking your parents lightly, of regarding them as something significant and heavy in your life. It means giving them the highest esteem, of elevating them to a place of importance in your life, and showing gratitude to them. God commands us: Treat your parents weightily; regard them as people of great worth. Treat them with deference. Take them very seriously in your life.
In the very early years, this happens naturally. If you see a very young child, you know that at a certain stage, mother and father are everything. Young children only want their parents. What their parents think of them is the only thing that matters. At a certain stage, children see parents as absolutely perfect.
But as children grow, this changes, and it should. We’ve all become more independent of our parents. Our lives give other people and other influences greater weight. We’re very aware of the faults of our parents. It’s at this point that God stops us and says: don’t you dare grow so removed from your parents, or so disillusioned with them, that you stop giving them a place of weighty importance in your lives. Don’t you dare stop caring for them, showing deference to them, speaking highly of them. Next to God, your parents are to receive the greatest respect and value in your life. Disrespecting them is a serious matter. Refusing to honor them is not just an offense to them; it’s also an offense to God, and a very serious matter.
Do you see how relevant and how challenging this command is? It’s especially challenging because there’s no exception clause for those of us who had less-than-perfect parents – and some of us did. As Martin Luther said, this command applies no matter how “lowly, poor, frail, and queer they may be.” The Heidelberg Catechism says it involves patiently bearing “with their weaknesses and infirmities.” This is not for perfect families with perfect parents and perfect kids; this is for all of us. This is for those of us who have parents who sometimes drive us crazy, or whose faults are very plain to us. God says that we are to honor that imperfect father who may have hurt us, and to honor our imperfect father. Not easy, but it’s what this command is about.
We’re going to look at what this means in practical terms in a minute, but before we move on we have to notice that this is the first commandment, as the apostle Paul writes later, with a promise. God says, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” This, of course, was given to the people of Israel who were promised a land. The apostle Paul translates this promise to those of us who know Christ: “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:3). What does this promise mean? It’s not an individual promise as much as it is a corporate one. Obeying all of God’s laws is the way to life. It’s the best possible way to live well. And honoring parents is crucial to the basic functioning of society in every way – socially, economically, and spiritually. Whenever the basic structure of the family breaks down, it threatens the well-being of the entire society. Life becomes diminished for everyone. But when we honor and care for our parents, we create a social climate that enhances the possibility of a good and long life, not only for each person but for society as a whole.
That’s what this command means. Now we have to ask:
What did Jesus say about this command?
It’s always interesting to see what Jesus said about these commandments. He taught on many of them in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus didn’t talk about the fifth commandment in that sermon, however. Instead, he referred to it when he confronted some of the most religious people who lived at the time, who thought they had found a way around this commandment.
In Matthew 15:4-6, Jesus said:
And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, “Honor your father and mother” and “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
So let’s notice what Jesus says here. First, he affirms that this is a command of God. The command to honor our parents, according to Jesus, is of divine origin. Second, he quotes Exodus 21:17, which says, “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” Notice how serious this command is: in Israel, God’s covenant community, disrespecting parents is placed amongst commands dealing with death and physical injury, and failing to honor them is a capital crime. We don’t live in a theocracy – under the direct rule of God – so the punishment no longer applies, but Jesus affirms that this is not only a command from God, but that breaking this command is an incredibly serious matter.
But then Jesus confronts a group of adults who outwardly agreed with this command, but thought they had found a loophole around it. Jewish tradition allowed that funds originally dedicated to the care of parents could be declared Corban – legally dedicated to God – meaning that you would no longer be required to do anything to financially support your aging parents. Instead of giving money to your parents, you would instead give the money to the temple. Some scholars think that you were actually able to keep the money yourself and benefit from it, as long as it was dedicated to God.
In essence, they thought they had found a way out of financially supporting parents by playing the spiritual trump card. Jesus had no time for this. He said that this is actually a way of nullifying the word of God. They not only violated one a commandment and disrespected their parents; they also showed complete disregard for the word of God.
Do you see what Jesus has done here? He has not only reaffirmed the commandment to honor our parents, but he has emphasized its importance in the strongest of terms. He’s reaffirmed that this commandment applies to adult children, and he’s fleshed out what honor means. Honor means financially supporting our aging parents. The apostle Paul re enforces this too when he says, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Providing financially for our family is a spiritual issue. If we do not do this, it shows that we have not grasped the gospel. It is tantamount to denying the faith that we profess to believe.
So Jesus does not qualify this command or weaken it for us. Instead, Jesus re enforces it in the strongest possible terms, and helps us see that honoring means practically caring for the needs of our parents, including looking after their financial needs. To fail to do this is not only disrespectful to our parents; it also nullifies God’s word and implicitly a denial of the gospel. This is heavy stuff.
I want to stop here to ask about some of the wider implications of this command.
I want to be brief here and point out that, throughout the church’s history, Christians have seen this as a command that applies not only to our relationship to our parents, but to all authority. At first you may roll your eyes and think that they’re taking things a bit too far, but think about it for a minute. Martin Luther said, “Out of the authority of parents, all other authority is derived and developed.” Think about this. God has placed us in families, and the Bible teaches us that the family is the basic unit of society. In essence, the other structures developed when families got larger, so that the state or government is really, in essence, a very complicated extension of the family. This is a very different way of thinking. John Frame writes, “What we call ‘states,” then, are the governmental structures of the family of Adam.”
This is why the catechisms emphasize that this command applies not only to our relationship with parents, but it applies in a much wider way as well. That’s why, for instance, the Baptist catechism says, “The fifth commandment requires that we preserve the honor and perform the duties which belong to every one in their various roles as authorities, subordinates or equals.”
There’s one other wider implication. One day when Jesus’ family came to visit him, Jesus said:
“Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked.
Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:34-35)
If we are thinking of ways to honor our families, we also have to think not only in terms of parents and authorities. We also need to think of our fellow believers. The gospel turns us into a family. We are far more than just an audience. Blood is thicker than water; the blood that unites us as family is the blood not of physical descent, but of Jesus’ own blood, shed on the cross.
When we really understand this command, it transforms not only the way we honor our parents; it will transform the way we relate to all authority. It will help us even see our relationship with each other within the church in new ways. It’s what the apostle Peter was getting at when he wrote, “Show proper respect to everyone, love your fellow believers, fear God, honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:17). This command is about honoring parents, authorities, and our spiritual family, for the good of all.
Well, let’s finish by asking what may be the most important question this morning: how do we keep this command?
There are probably few times in history in which the fifth commandment could be more counter cultural, more timely, more necessary. We need this commandment. Most of us have been taught to question authority. Our children are taught to be autonomous at a very early age. The fifth commandment reminds us of the importance of submitting and honoring those who are in rightful authority over us, especially our parents. We tend to be very individualistic. So this commandment challenges us in some very practical ways.
Let me speak to parents. You’ve probably heard of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. One of the lesser known stories is of a very old man, “whose eyes had become dim, his ears dull of hearing, his knees trembled, and when he sat at table he could hardly hold the spoon, and spilt the broth upon the table-cloth or let it run out of his mouth.” His son and the son’s wife became so disgusted by him that they banished him from the table, and when he broke his bowl they made him eat of a trough. They treated him horribly.
One day the couple’s son, who was four years old, began to make something out of wood. The parents were touched and said, “What are you making?” “I am making a little trough,” answered the child, “for father and mother to eat out of when I am big.” The couple looked at each other and wept, realizing that they were teaching their son how to treat them when they got older. And they brought the grandfather back to the table, and from that point on they always let him eat with them, and they never complained even if he did spill a little of anything.
You get the idea. The way that you are treating your parents as adults is teaching your children how to one day treat you. How this applies will look different in every circumstance, but the principle is clear: honor your father and mother. How are you doing in keeping this command? We need to ask how we are caring for our parents financially, socially, emotionally. To the degree that we are indifferent to their needs, to that degree are we diminishing the possibilities of a well-functioning society for all.
You need to teach your children how to respect authority, and the best way to do this is to teach them not only with your words but with your example. Your children need discipline, but they also need your example. Teach them to honor parents and authorities by the way that you honor parents and authorities.
Our society talks a lot about deadbeat parents who fail to take care of their underage children. But there’s such a thing as deadbeat sons and daughters, who fail to care for their feeble parents. We need to teach our children not to be deadbeat kids, both by teaching them God’s Word and demonstrating what it means to honor parents by our behavior.
Now let me speak about how this applies to church. This commandment transforms our family relationships and it transforms our view of authority, but it also translates our view of church. The church is not something that I attend or that I’m part of when it suits me. It is Jesus’ own family, united by his blood. This means that we are called, as Peter says, to love one another. We’re called not only to honor parents and authorities, but to love those in our spiritual family for the good of all.
This is why church is so counter cultural. People will get if you go to a church that’s hip and that you enjoy. They won’t understand you committing to people who cost you something, who are sometimes annoying and inconvenient. They won’t understand you loving others and sacrificing for their good when it costs you. But that’s what it means to be part of Christ’s family. It means committing to a particular group of people and loving them sacrificially.
The fifth commandment pulls us out of our selfishness and lets us live for others, not only our parents but for all that God has placed in authority, not to mention all others who have been saved by Jesus blood. What could possibly pull us out of our selfishness so we can live for others? Because we serve a Savior who perfectly honored his own Father and gave his life so that we could be changed.
Father, we thank you for this commandment. We see today that it applies to us, and that it’s crucial that we follow it. I pray that you would help us see its importance, not only for us, but for our children and our church as well.
We pray for those today who have not been honoring their parents as they should. Give them the grace that they need so that they will care for their parents by speaking well of them, forgiving them, and supporting them in practical and financial ways.
We pray for parents. Please allow us as parents to teach our children the importance of honoring those in authority.
We pray for our church. Teach us that we are family, and allow us to be free to love and serve our fellow believers.
All of this is possible because we have a Savior who not only honored his Father perfectly, but who died so that we could be forgiven and changed. May every person here be transformed by trusting in Christ. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Somehow adult children have acquired the idea that they no longer have to respect their parents or the parents of their spouse, once they are grown and out of the house.
The articles that I have been reading, tell a story of incredible rebellion against authority and the wisdom of the older generation.
The new generation of narcissisticly trained children of the self esteem doctrine are arrogant and disrespectful, not because they know more than their parents, but only because they have been trained to be self absorbed and think they know more.
They have been excessively praised by school, church and home, to the point that they believe they really do know it all and old people are stupid.
We are to blame for this as a culture, because we were more concerned about our children liking themselves. We forgot to teach them to "love others better than themselves" as Christ taught in His Word. The only road back to respect is through repentance as a nation as a whole. If we can not acknowledge that we have wickedly trained children to love themselves above everyone and everything else, then there is no hope for us. Because our children are in the process now of teaching their children to exhibit even more disrespect than they do, except for repentance we are doomed to live in a culture that puts it's elderly to death because they will be considered of no value to their children.
I would like to share with you an article that I found on the Internet that expresses what God thinks of all of this lack of respect in children and what His consequences are to those who will not repent.
Honor Father and Mother (Exodus 20:12)
by Darryl on July 26, 2009
This summer we’re working our way through the Ten Commandments, asking what they mean and how they apply to our lives today. We’re looking at them because of their uniqueness – because they are the only time in redemptive history that God himself spoke to all of his people assembled in one place. We’re also looking at them because Jesus reaffirmed many of these commands, therefore showing that they’re still relevant to us today thousands of years after they were given.
Today we’re looking at one that you may think doesn’t apply to you. You may think that nine apply, but this one is for others, specifically kids. The fifth commandment says:
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
So today I want to ask four simple questions:
What does this command teach?
What did Jesus say about this command?
What are some of the wider implications of this command?
How do we keep it?
First, what does this command teach?
I have some bad news for you if you think that this command doesn’t apply to you, because contrary to what some have thought, this is not a command that is only for children. This command was given to the entire national of Israel gathered at Sinai, most of whom were adults. In other words, this is a command given not just to kids but to adults as well. The command, regardless of your age, is this: honor your father and mother.
The word honor has the idea of weight. It carries the idea of not taking your parents lightly, of regarding them as something significant and heavy in your life. It means giving them the highest esteem, of elevating them to a place of importance in your life, and showing gratitude to them. God commands us: Treat your parents weightily; regard them as people of great worth. Treat them with deference. Take them very seriously in your life.
In the very early years, this happens naturally. If you see a very young child, you know that at a certain stage, mother and father are everything. Young children only want their parents. What their parents think of them is the only thing that matters. At a certain stage, children see parents as absolutely perfect.
But as children grow, this changes, and it should. We’ve all become more independent of our parents. Our lives give other people and other influences greater weight. We’re very aware of the faults of our parents. It’s at this point that God stops us and says: don’t you dare grow so removed from your parents, or so disillusioned with them, that you stop giving them a place of weighty importance in your lives. Don’t you dare stop caring for them, showing deference to them, speaking highly of them. Next to God, your parents are to receive the greatest respect and value in your life. Disrespecting them is a serious matter. Refusing to honor them is not just an offense to them; it’s also an offense to God, and a very serious matter.
Do you see how relevant and how challenging this command is? It’s especially challenging because there’s no exception clause for those of us who had less-than-perfect parents – and some of us did. As Martin Luther said, this command applies no matter how “lowly, poor, frail, and queer they may be.” The Heidelberg Catechism says it involves patiently bearing “with their weaknesses and infirmities.” This is not for perfect families with perfect parents and perfect kids; this is for all of us. This is for those of us who have parents who sometimes drive us crazy, or whose faults are very plain to us. God says that we are to honor that imperfect father who may have hurt us, and to honor our imperfect father. Not easy, but it’s what this command is about.
We’re going to look at what this means in practical terms in a minute, but before we move on we have to notice that this is the first commandment, as the apostle Paul writes later, with a promise. God says, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” This, of course, was given to the people of Israel who were promised a land. The apostle Paul translates this promise to those of us who know Christ: “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:3). What does this promise mean? It’s not an individual promise as much as it is a corporate one. Obeying all of God’s laws is the way to life. It’s the best possible way to live well. And honoring parents is crucial to the basic functioning of society in every way – socially, economically, and spiritually. Whenever the basic structure of the family breaks down, it threatens the well-being of the entire society. Life becomes diminished for everyone. But when we honor and care for our parents, we create a social climate that enhances the possibility of a good and long life, not only for each person but for society as a whole.
That’s what this command means. Now we have to ask:
What did Jesus say about this command?
It’s always interesting to see what Jesus said about these commandments. He taught on many of them in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus didn’t talk about the fifth commandment in that sermon, however. Instead, he referred to it when he confronted some of the most religious people who lived at the time, who thought they had found a way around this commandment.
In Matthew 15:4-6, Jesus said:
And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, “Honor your father and mother” and “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
So let’s notice what Jesus says here. First, he affirms that this is a command of God. The command to honor our parents, according to Jesus, is of divine origin. Second, he quotes Exodus 21:17, which says, “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” Notice how serious this command is: in Israel, God’s covenant community, disrespecting parents is placed amongst commands dealing with death and physical injury, and failing to honor them is a capital crime. We don’t live in a theocracy – under the direct rule of God – so the punishment no longer applies, but Jesus affirms that this is not only a command from God, but that breaking this command is an incredibly serious matter.
But then Jesus confronts a group of adults who outwardly agreed with this command, but thought they had found a loophole around it. Jewish tradition allowed that funds originally dedicated to the care of parents could be declared Corban – legally dedicated to God – meaning that you would no longer be required to do anything to financially support your aging parents. Instead of giving money to your parents, you would instead give the money to the temple. Some scholars think that you were actually able to keep the money yourself and benefit from it, as long as it was dedicated to God.
In essence, they thought they had found a way out of financially supporting parents by playing the spiritual trump card. Jesus had no time for this. He said that this is actually a way of nullifying the word of God. They not only violated one a commandment and disrespected their parents; they also showed complete disregard for the word of God.
Do you see what Jesus has done here? He has not only reaffirmed the commandment to honor our parents, but he has emphasized its importance in the strongest of terms. He’s reaffirmed that this commandment applies to adult children, and he’s fleshed out what honor means. Honor means financially supporting our aging parents. The apostle Paul re enforces this too when he says, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Providing financially for our family is a spiritual issue. If we do not do this, it shows that we have not grasped the gospel. It is tantamount to denying the faith that we profess to believe.
So Jesus does not qualify this command or weaken it for us. Instead, Jesus re enforces it in the strongest possible terms, and helps us see that honoring means practically caring for the needs of our parents, including looking after their financial needs. To fail to do this is not only disrespectful to our parents; it also nullifies God’s word and implicitly a denial of the gospel. This is heavy stuff.
I want to stop here to ask about some of the wider implications of this command.
I want to be brief here and point out that, throughout the church’s history, Christians have seen this as a command that applies not only to our relationship to our parents, but to all authority. At first you may roll your eyes and think that they’re taking things a bit too far, but think about it for a minute. Martin Luther said, “Out of the authority of parents, all other authority is derived and developed.” Think about this. God has placed us in families, and the Bible teaches us that the family is the basic unit of society. In essence, the other structures developed when families got larger, so that the state or government is really, in essence, a very complicated extension of the family. This is a very different way of thinking. John Frame writes, “What we call ‘states,” then, are the governmental structures of the family of Adam.”
This is why the catechisms emphasize that this command applies not only to our relationship with parents, but it applies in a much wider way as well. That’s why, for instance, the Baptist catechism says, “The fifth commandment requires that we preserve the honor and perform the duties which belong to every one in their various roles as authorities, subordinates or equals.”
There’s one other wider implication. One day when Jesus’ family came to visit him, Jesus said:
“Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked.
Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:34-35)
If we are thinking of ways to honor our families, we also have to think not only in terms of parents and authorities. We also need to think of our fellow believers. The gospel turns us into a family. We are far more than just an audience. Blood is thicker than water; the blood that unites us as family is the blood not of physical descent, but of Jesus’ own blood, shed on the cross.
When we really understand this command, it transforms not only the way we honor our parents; it will transform the way we relate to all authority. It will help us even see our relationship with each other within the church in new ways. It’s what the apostle Peter was getting at when he wrote, “Show proper respect to everyone, love your fellow believers, fear God, honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:17). This command is about honoring parents, authorities, and our spiritual family, for the good of all.
Well, let’s finish by asking what may be the most important question this morning: how do we keep this command?
There are probably few times in history in which the fifth commandment could be more counter cultural, more timely, more necessary. We need this commandment. Most of us have been taught to question authority. Our children are taught to be autonomous at a very early age. The fifth commandment reminds us of the importance of submitting and honoring those who are in rightful authority over us, especially our parents. We tend to be very individualistic. So this commandment challenges us in some very practical ways.
Let me speak to parents. You’ve probably heard of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. One of the lesser known stories is of a very old man, “whose eyes had become dim, his ears dull of hearing, his knees trembled, and when he sat at table he could hardly hold the spoon, and spilt the broth upon the table-cloth or let it run out of his mouth.” His son and the son’s wife became so disgusted by him that they banished him from the table, and when he broke his bowl they made him eat of a trough. They treated him horribly.
One day the couple’s son, who was four years old, began to make something out of wood. The parents were touched and said, “What are you making?” “I am making a little trough,” answered the child, “for father and mother to eat out of when I am big.” The couple looked at each other and wept, realizing that they were teaching their son how to treat them when they got older. And they brought the grandfather back to the table, and from that point on they always let him eat with them, and they never complained even if he did spill a little of anything.
You get the idea. The way that you are treating your parents as adults is teaching your children how to one day treat you. How this applies will look different in every circumstance, but the principle is clear: honor your father and mother. How are you doing in keeping this command? We need to ask how we are caring for our parents financially, socially, emotionally. To the degree that we are indifferent to their needs, to that degree are we diminishing the possibilities of a well-functioning society for all.
You need to teach your children how to respect authority, and the best way to do this is to teach them not only with your words but with your example. Your children need discipline, but they also need your example. Teach them to honor parents and authorities by the way that you honor parents and authorities.
Our society talks a lot about deadbeat parents who fail to take care of their underage children. But there’s such a thing as deadbeat sons and daughters, who fail to care for their feeble parents. We need to teach our children not to be deadbeat kids, both by teaching them God’s Word and demonstrating what it means to honor parents by our behavior.
Now let me speak about how this applies to church. This commandment transforms our family relationships and it transforms our view of authority, but it also translates our view of church. The church is not something that I attend or that I’m part of when it suits me. It is Jesus’ own family, united by his blood. This means that we are called, as Peter says, to love one another. We’re called not only to honor parents and authorities, but to love those in our spiritual family for the good of all.
This is why church is so counter cultural. People will get if you go to a church that’s hip and that you enjoy. They won’t understand you committing to people who cost you something, who are sometimes annoying and inconvenient. They won’t understand you loving others and sacrificing for their good when it costs you. But that’s what it means to be part of Christ’s family. It means committing to a particular group of people and loving them sacrificially.
The fifth commandment pulls us out of our selfishness and lets us live for others, not only our parents but for all that God has placed in authority, not to mention all others who have been saved by Jesus blood. What could possibly pull us out of our selfishness so we can live for others? Because we serve a Savior who perfectly honored his own Father and gave his life so that we could be changed.
Father, we thank you for this commandment. We see today that it applies to us, and that it’s crucial that we follow it. I pray that you would help us see its importance, not only for us, but for our children and our church as well.
We pray for those today who have not been honoring their parents as they should. Give them the grace that they need so that they will care for their parents by speaking well of them, forgiving them, and supporting them in practical and financial ways.
We pray for parents. Please allow us as parents to teach our children the importance of honoring those in authority.
We pray for our church. Teach us that we are family, and allow us to be free to love and serve our fellow believers.
All of this is possible because we have a Savior who not only honored his Father perfectly, but who died so that we could be forgiven and changed. May every person here be transformed by trusting in Christ. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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