Psychology short-cuts God's way, causing sin to grow and the offender to be coddled while the victim is punished for not forgiving someone glad they did the harm, and worse, continues to repeat that harm.
God's way produces change and transforms hearts. Man's way facilitates evil while punishing the innocent.
Satan was the author of the "forgive the offender who is not sorry" mantra. He lied and said we would be bitter if we didn't coddle the offender. In this model of forgiveness, evil grows; God's way repels evil because it demands responsibility and accountability.
Satan places pressure on the innocent by manipulating them into thinking they are guilty of bitterness when they cannot trust an unrepentant offender. Satan does not pressure the offender to repent; he gives him excuses for his offenses, causing arrogance and pride that not only perpetuates the sinful attitude but also accelerates it.
Justice demands consequences for the sake of the victims. It is unjust to coddle the sinner while accusing the victim.
Micah 6:8 "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
Isaiah 1:17 "Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause."
Nowhere in the Bible do I see anything that says forgive an unrepentant offender so they feel better about themselves. Nor do I see anywhere in the Bible that tells us to forgive so we feel better about ourselves.
Matthew 6:14-15 "…14For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours."
God says we are to forgive when someone is repentant; there is no requirement to forgive when someone is not sorry.
Colossians 3:13
"Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Forgive as the Lord forgave you! How did He forgive? When we are repentant. God never forgives those who are not sorry.
As for our conduct toward offenders who are not sorry and will not stop their offenses, God tells us to treat them with the kindness and respect they didn't give us when we have to be in company with them, but this is not a friendship.
God also tells us to stay away from people who act badly and never repent in 2 Timothy 3:5, He says to avoid them, as well as many other places in His word when He tells us not to be friends with an angry man.
It would be good for us to look at all the passages in which God advises us to preach the gospel to the world but make no close friends with those who are wicked and rebellious.
The devil loves to make Christians feel guilty for doing what is right, what protects their walk with Christ. He makes up lies that tell us to do the opposite of what God tells us and spins it so well that the entire culture has oppressed the Christians into believing they are being rude or mean for obeying God.
The devil is the author of humanistic psychology. He mixes observations with wrong interpretations that sound good but thwart the purposes of God, especially in relationships.
When we read the Bible, it is important to read every word and every sentence within its context so the devil will not be able to deceive.
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