When Two People Become One in Marriage

When a young couple gets married they are commanded by God to "leave and cleave."

Genesis 2:24-25

"24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed."

When a man and woman marry it is vitally important that they develop their own ways of doing things. They are no longer under the authority of their parents and are free to make their own traditions, and their own decisions as they consult with one another.

Making decisions together without the input of hoovering parents makes the marriage stronger, the two are already one but when they seek God together they have a three-corded rope that cannot be broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 "And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."

Far too often I see the parents of young married people interfering in the choices of their married children. These parents will not let go to allow God to work a new work in the new union created by God.

I understand that often parents have a fear that their adult children will not make the right choices without their parent's involvement. This is very sad and lacking faith in God, all we have with our children is about 18-20 years for instruction and counsel, if that is not enough then we forget that God needs to work in them without us. There is a problem with "control" over adult children that is ungodly and very unwise.

If a child does not follow our ways in the time God has given us with them then it is time to let go and allow God to work in them as they make their own way in the world. Co-dependency does not leave room for emotional and Spiritual growth.

There is a time when parents need to let go of their adult children and begin the rest of their own lives developing a stronger relationship with their spouse.

Life with children and a career are distractions from the marriage relationship to a degree. When the children are gone and the career is over there is time to become closer to one another as we move into our elder years. Interfering children can be a problem for the relationship as the children will not allow the parents to have their own time together.

I have also seen adult married children interfere in the marriages of their parents, this too is a sin. It is not the responsibility or the right of an adult child to instruct their parents. They can pray for them and love them but never instruct them. It is arrogant for an adult child to assume their parents have regressed into childhood now attempting to be the parent over them.

To honor parents is to value them, see their emerging frailty as they enter their aging years, and view them with compassion and empathy.

Ephesians 6:2-3

“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

Proverbs 1:8-9

"My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck."

The calling of adult children is to love and honor their parents, I see no instruction to correct, teach, dominate, or force parents to do whatever the adult children want. Any attempt to prefer one parent over another encourages that parent to ignore the other parent this is sin.

Adult children are to care for their parent the way the parent needs and desires. Aging parents spent a large portion of their lives caring for their children, they must be treated with respect and deference for their trouble. Niether the adult children nor the parents are to dictate to one another what is to happen in their lives. Each should discuss things in a mature manner and come to an agreement.

It is disrespectful to dictate to an aging parent as though they are a child.

I have no fear that we will be abandoned without help, the Lord has promised to take care of us. If our children are angry with our boundaries and will not obey God that is their choice, God never abandons us , in fact, He died for us and will take care of us in our elder years.

May the elderly who love the Lord keep their eyes fixed on Christ as they live out their final years in these end times of apostasy and rejection.

James 1:2-4

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

Unnecessarily Trapped in Detrimental Friendships

Do you wish to stay trapped in a relationship with a friend who continues to betray you with gossip?

If you walk down a street and meet a man who comes up to you and pokes you in the eyes, you might walk down that street reluctantly another time hoping he will not be there again.

What if you have walked down that street again and there he was ready to poke your eyes, you give him the benefit of the doubt that it will not happen again but he does it again anyway.

If you walk down that street a third time, there is the man waiting to poke your eyes but you keep walking, and guess what...the eye polk comes once again.

I would call it foolish to walk down the street the third time. There is an old saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."

When someone operates with demeaning, dismissiveness and disrespect it is wise to give them another chance, the second time, and if the same attitude happens again it is time to avoid that person. Clearly, disrespect on a regular basis proves a character flaw that is only changed if the offender confesses with sorrow their behavior and wants Christ to change them to no longer act that way.

We do not stop disrespectful behavior without realizing it is a heart problem and needs to be confessed for God to cleanse the heart from a "disrespectful heart."

No one grows better without confession of sin. Disrespect is sin and it is demonstrated in an entire character of respect for others. It is not based on performance in which the person must earn it. Literally, no one deserves respect, it is given because we have the love of Christ in our hearts.

Those who withhold respect have an elevated view of their superiority in which they believe they deserve respect so they treat others as though they must earn it to be given by them.

Those who require someone to be "good enough" to be treated respectfully are living their sin of superiority. There can not be this mentality without a high opinion of their own character that is not warranted. These people lack all the fruit of the Spriit.

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

If we ponder each element of the fruit we see that someone who has the fruit of God's Spirit could never show disrespect to anyone. Kindness in our hearts hates the thought of ever harming another human being. We may correct them or remove them if they are dangerous to our Christian walk but we never show disrespect when in their presence.

Narcissists will interpret correction as disrespect but it is not, correction is an act of love toward God first and then toward the one who needs to hear it. Honoring God's Word as we instruct others is love.

John 14:15 "15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."

Holy Spirit Conviction

It is good to remember that the reason the world snarks at you and narcissists become agitated by you is not you at all but the Holy Spirit's conviction that emerges from us in their presence.

John 16:7-9 "…7 But I tell you the truth, it is for your benefit that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. 8 And when He comes, He will convict the world in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: 9 in regard to sin, because they do not believe in Me;…"

If you are a born-again believer chances are high that some in your family hate you and seem hostile when you are around them. They harbor anger against God Who lives in you, so they take it out on you through accusations of wrongdoing when you did nothing wrong and even when you did something right in the sight of God.

Merely speaking the Words of Christ is enough to make them dislike us. Often just living our lives to please Christ will be an irritant to them even if we don't "preach" at them. Our silence when they tell a filthy joke or spout something unbiblical is enough to irritate their demons, and they do have demons.

Demons influence thoughts in our day just as they did in the days of Adam and Eve in the garden. They bring up thoughts and feelings that motivate people to sin against God. They even twist the scriptures to make people believe lies about God and about born-again believers.

This is nothing new, it happens every day all the time and has grown more deeply in these end times.

Galatians 5:15-26 tells us all about this matter of demonic influence.

Unbelievers and pretenders in the church, often misquote God at the influence of the devil in order to cause misunderstanding and division within the body.

Galatians 5:16-23 "16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.

17 For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want.

18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.

19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: sexual immorality, impurity, indecent behavior,

20 idolatry, witchcraft, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions,

21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.'"

James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

When we find ourselves in the presence of those who claim to be Christian but fight against the truth of the Bible we need to remove ourselves and leave them to God. One more sentence, one more word, one more kindness, and one more correction will not convince them. They have already developed a prejudice against us, and because of this nothing we say or do will be held in regard, they will dismiss, mock, and demean you at every turn, we will be wasting our time with them. We can pray for them but continual contact is not wise.

Matthew 5:10-12 "…10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.…"

God said it and I believe Him.

Choosing to be Wise or Choosing to be a Fool

Proverbs 18:1-2 "1 He who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound judgment. 2 A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in airing his opinions."

Proverbs 18:3

With a wicked man comes contempt as well, and shame is accompanied by disgrace.

Ecclesiastes 10:3

Even as the fool walks along the road, his sense is lacking, and he shows everyone that he is a fool.

Proverbs 1:7,22

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction…

Proverbs 17:16

Wherefore is there a price in the hand of a fool to get wisdom, seeing he hath no heart to it?

Psalm 1:1,2

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful…

If we wish to become wise we must spend out time in the Word of God and with other people who desire to be wise according to the Bible too.

If we spend too much time with ungodly unwise people we will become like them or we enjoy their company because we are already like them.

Pharisees Abound in these Last Days

Have you ever encountered someone who accuses you of many bad attitudes that others have not seen in you?

It is common for narcissists to assign to us their own sinful character. They cannot repent or face their sin to confess it to be cleansed because of pride so they accuse others of their own sinful attitude and reactions.

We are seeing more of this because we are living in the end times. Even in the days when Jesus Christ walked the earth the "religious leaders" accused Christ of doing His miracles by the power of the devil.

These self-righteous religious leaders were assigning to Christ their own sinful hearts.

Matthew 23:1-31 "23 Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples,

2 saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses.

3 Therefore, whatever they tell you, do and comply with it all, but do not do as they do; for they say things and do not do them.

4 And they tie up heavy burdens and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as their finger.

5 And they do all their deeds to be noticed by other people; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.

6 And they love the place of honor at banquets, and the seats of honor in the synagogues,

7 and personal greetings in the marketplaces, and being called Rabbi by the people.

8 But as for you, do not be called Rabbi; for only One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers and sisters.

9 And do not call anyone on earth your father; for only One is your Father, He who is in heaven.

10 And do not be called leaders; for only One is your Leader, that is, Christ.

11 But the greatest of you shall be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted."

They love being called with the title "pastor" to appear superior to others.

Matthew 23:13-29

Eight Woes

13 “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut the kingdom of heaven in front of people; for you do not enter it yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in.

15 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves."

These pastors instil pride in the people for elevating them as their leader rather than the Holy Spirit. These people take the place of the Holy Spirit in many indoctrinated people who love religion but do not love Christ.

Matthew 23:16-24

“Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the temple, that is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the temple is obligated.’

17 You fools and blind men! Which is more important, the gold or the temple that sanctified the gold?

18 And you say, ‘Whoever swears by the altar, that is nothing; but whoever swears by the offering that is on it is obligated.’

19 You blind men, which is more important, the offering or the altar that sanctifies the offering?

20 Therefore, the one who swears by the altar, swears both by the altar and by everything on it.

21 And the one who swears by the temple, swears both by the temple and by Him who dwells in it.

22 And the one who swears by heaven, swears both by the throne of God and by Him who sits upon it."

23 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the Law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. 24 You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!"

25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.

26 You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the [z]outside of it may also become clean."

27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.

28 So you too, outwardly appear righteous to people, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

29 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you build the tombs for the prophets and decorate the monuments of the righteous,

30 and you say, ‘If we had been living in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partners with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’

31 So you testify against yourselves, that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets.

32 Fill up, then, the measure of the guilt of your fathers.

33 You snakes, you offspring of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell?"

Yes, there are modern day Pharisees in most church gatherings today. Those in the pews do not recognize them because they have been elevated to "mediators between God and man" in the minds of those who do not know their Bibles and to those who have no interest in seeking the Holy Spirit.

Most people are content to have the "spiritual leaders" tell them what to believe and who to follow, but they are not the spiritual leaders of the born-again believers, Christ is that for everyone Who has the Holy Spirit living in them. No man takes priority over the Holy Spirit nor does any man dictate or rule over another born-again believer, this is also the job of the Holy Spirit.

John 16:13 says, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears (from the Father) he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come”

We know the hearts of men because the Holy Spirit shows us, we know what is coming in the future because the Holy Spirit has spoken in His Word. We do not add to scripture with new information we merely read what God said already in His Word and He enlightens our understanding. We need no new visions or dreams about the future to be content with what Christ has already given us in His Word. We believe Him and that is the walk of faith.

If you follow any man you will find yourself depending on that man for your spirituality often leading to idolatry.

God's Ways are Higher than our Ways

This morning I was pondering the world around us that has little to no understanding about God's ways or His principles.

Even among believers who gather in buildings, there is little knowledge or interest in what God said in His word. Most people who say they are Christians spend their time constructing a belief system based on those who have been trained by men rather than being led by the Holy Spirit.

John 16:13 "…12I still have much to tell you, but you cannot yet bear to hear it. 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you.…"

This passage was written to the disciples but it is also for us. It was written for all born-again believers to expect that the Holy Spirit Who comes to live in us will speak to us personally.

Our mediator between us and God is Christ Jesus Who lives in us. No other person is that mediator for each of us. Our husbands are not our mediators between us and God, priests are not this, pastors are not this, and absolutely no one else is this mediator for us.

The Holy Spirit uses many means to speak to us, through our thoughts, our dreams, and our life experiences. Nothing that happens to the born-again believer is without purpose and lessons brought by the Holy Spirit, but only if we want Him to speak to us. He does not force anyone to listen to Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:19-22

"19 Do not quench the Spirit, 20 do not utterly reject prophecies, 21 but examine everything; hold firmly to that which is good, 22 abstain from every form of evil."

When we have a question our first response should be to go to God, not to anyone else. If we are in a discussion with someone who is godly and knows the Bible we must take what they say to the Bible to make sure what is said was also said by God.

Acts 17:11-12 "11 Now the Bereans were more noble-minded than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if these teachings were true. 12 As a result, many of them believed, along with quite a few prominent Greek women and men.…"

If we choose not to listen to God we miss a lesson and may even suffer some consequences that we could have avoided which sometimes bring devastating results for our disobedience., even lifelong results.

This is a "cultural Christian" generation that believes their own thoughts are above God's, so this culture changes what God says to fit their own desired beliefs. We have fashioned a "religious system" based on man's understanding for man's results rather than following what Christ taught us in His Word. And, without seeking the Holy Spirit for the understanding.

Many "cultural Christians" interpret the Bible in terms of social and fleshly interests instead of praying for the understanding to be able to know the heart of God in what He said.

Matthew 15:7-9 "…7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8 These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ ”…"

Mark 7:12-13 "…12 he is no longer permitted to do anything for his father or mother. 13 Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so in many such matters.”

Most traditions of the modern Christian church do not honor God but make those who follow them feel all squishy inside with the trappings of rituals and decorations for their own enjoyment.

Fleshly feelings take priority over truth in this modern psychologically infused system overrun with the bacteria of human blemished and flawed reasoning.

This is why few people can learn the truths of God. The truths of God convict of sin, warn, teach, and always come against the teachings of men.

Believers who love the Word of God swim upstream against the current of popular secularized Christianity. Rarely can we convince modern Christians of the truth when they have already been indoctrinated with the cultural bent of the modern church based on feelings and experiences over truth. Walking on eggshells to prevent hurt feelings will always lead to error.

Galatians 5:16

"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."

Galatians 5:17

"For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do."

1 John 2:16

"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world."

The 5 Points that Led Me Out of Calvinism