Saturday, September 9, 2023

Unnecessarily Trapped in Detrimental Friendships

Do you wish to stay trapped in a relationship with a friend who continues to betray you with gossip?
If you walk down a street and meet a man who comes up to you and pokes you in the eyes, you might walk down that street reluctantly another time hoping he will not be there again.
What if you have walked down that street again and there he was ready to poke your eyes, you give him the benefit of the doubt that it will not happen again but he does it again anyway.
If you walk down that street a third time, there is the man waiting to poke your eyes but you keep walking, and guess what...the eye polk comes once again.
I would call it foolish to walk down the street the third time. There is an old saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."
When someone operates with demeaning, dismissiveness and disrespect it is wise to give them another chance, the second time, and if the same attitude happens again it is time to avoid that person. Clearly, disrespect on a regular basis proves a character flaw that is only changed if the offender confesses with sorrow their behavior and wants Christ to change them to no longer act that way.
We do not stop disrespectful behavior without realizing it is a heart problem and needs to be confessed for God to cleanse the heart from a "disrespectful heart."
No one grows better without confession of sin. Disrespect is sin and it is demonstrated in an entire character of respect for others. It is not based on performance in which the person must earn it. Literally, no one deserves respect, it is given because we have the love of Christ in our hearts.
Those who withhold respect have an elevated view of their superiority in which they believe they deserve respect so they treat others as though they must earn it to be given by them.
Those who require someone to be "good enough" to be treated respectfully are living their sin of superiority. There can not be this mentality without a high opinion of their own character that is not warranted. These people lack all the fruit of the Spriit.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
If we ponder each element of the fruit we see that someone who has the fruit of God's Spirit could never show disrespect to anyone. Kindness in our hearts hates the thought of ever harming another human being. We may correct them or remove them if they are dangerous to our Christian walk but we never show disrespect when in their presence.
Narcissists will interpret correction as disrespect but it is not, correction is an act of love toward God first and then toward the one who needs to hear it. Honoring God's Word as we instruct others is love.
John 14:15 "15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."

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