Confessing and Turning

Confessing and Turning is the Only Solution to the Problem of Divorce and Remarriage

Yes. There are those that use the "exception clause" in Matthew to justify an attempt to dissolve a marriage, but that passage is not giving an out for adultery as some think.

Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication (sexual relationships before marriage), and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Remember when Joseph was going to divorce his Mary, (referring to her as his wife) quietly when she was found to be with child? She and Joseph had not lived together as man and wife, they were just betrothed (engaged). In the days of the Law, Jews had the custom of the engagement as binding the same as marriage, even calling the couple husband and wife, before they were formally joined or had any marital relations.

It was the Jewish custom in those days to require a certificate of divorcement from an engagement or betrothal. This is what Christ was referring to, that's why the word fornication is used in the King James Bible, fornication being before marriage.

This was not the custom of the gentiles which is why you see no "exception clause" in the other gospels. Because Matthew was written to the Jews and the other gospels were written to the Gentiles.

Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18 both these passages leave out the "exception clause" as you will see.

Mark 10:11-12
“And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces another man, she is committing adultery.”

Notice that the words are “committing adultery” when a woman remarries. This is the meaning in the original language. It is an ongoing state of adultery while in the new marriage. There is no provision in the Word for anyone to remarry after a divorce.

Luke 16:18
“18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.”

This is hard for most people in our culture to wrap their minds around, since nearly everyone now, having been raised with the idea that divorce and remarriage are completely acceptable, cannot and will not consider it sin. The apostate churches have been accepting this for so many years that those who challenge it are labeled mean and without compassion.

Those who have been remarried refuse to search the Word of God and pray, asking God to show them truth about this matter. They want their way no matter what the Christ says about it.

Many in the apostate church believe that not only is it a legitimate marriage when God calls it adultery, but that if one is convicted by God and leaves that adulterous situation, it is broken family.

The sad fact is that adulterous marriages are not legitimate ones and have produced a mentality of laxity on sin, not only pertaining to marriage but in every other area of life.

If we have no commitment to marriage, why would we have a commitment to any other principle of Christ? Our attitude in one of the most important areas of life is an indicator of our level of dedication to all of God’s principles.

Yes, we fail often in our walk, we take our eyes off of Christ, while focusing on our physical condition of life, and just like Peter, we begin to sink. When we maintain a steadfast gaze on our Savior we have strength to do what seems impossible to us. We really can get through the difficulties of life, even with joy as long as our focus is on the Savior.

When ever we see ourselves giving the details of a circumstance, fixated on all the problems of a situation, we have a clue that we have neglected our first love to become obsessed with this life more than with our spiritual condition and the lesson God has for us.

I know these things because I have struggled often with gazing at the temporal, as God would speak to me through the trials, reminding me of His purposes and direction for me. There is such peace and great joy in knowing that God knows all about everything and has the answer for us.

When we choose to bail out of our trials rather than going through with God, we bring considerably more trouble on ourselves than is necessary.

Divorce and remarriage, if the truth is told, has brought great heartache to many people, not only those who divorce and remarry but to the children and extended family members involved. Many families who have done these deeds often have intense financial struggles that they would not have had, if the people involved had chosen to trust and obey Christ.

Children are devastated by the “throw away” mentality that comes with divorce. In remarriage the spouse is showing the child that people are of little value in life, that pleasure and personal freedom trumps all principles of God.

The statistics show that in nearly all remarriages, with little exception, the children are angry, rebellious and become immoral themselves. After all, why would they believe a parent who says, “don’t live with anyone outside marriage”, when they themselves are on their second and third adulterous marriages.

More babies are born out of wedlock than in marriage these days because most children have been exposed to regularly, if not involved some way, in a divorce and remarriage situation. These very children have no reason to believe their parents when they make moral rules.

When the restraints on divorce and remarriage were removed in this country there was an unleashing of Pandora’s box in terms of sexual immorality in our country. We are now facing homosexual marriage because we have thrown all mores out to embrace all forms of deviant pleasure.

Most families have children living together outside of marriage, often one partner after another, because they see no value, nobility or sanctity in the marriage commitment.

Before we could ever see a change in this “user friendly” mentality of shack up relationships, we would have to have the masses of divorced and remarried couples openly and with tears, confessing and turning from their sin. Until that happens we give our children no reason to believe us about right and wrong.

Hypocrisy has little power to open the eyes of another person. As long as we live sinfully, we cannot expect our children to believe our words.

An old fashioned saying I have heard over the years sums it up: “Your actions speak so loud I can’t hear a word you are saying.” Another saying akin to it is; “Actions speak louder than words.” Let’s add one more; “More is caught than taught.”

No matter what we say to our children, it will have no effect as long as we have bitterness and rebellion in our own hearts, they will see it and resent what we are saying because they know it is a lie.

The solution: Repent from our sin of divorce and remarriage individually and as a nation. Only then will we see God work in many others ways.