We live in a culture that is backward and upside down. I have a theory based on the way the country is going and personal experiences with narcissists. Of course the word "narcissism" is the secular word from Greek mythology that describes the condition of the 2 Timothy 3 man or woman of our day.
Psychology often does not know the cause of it or the solution, but God tells us in His Word, exactly what it looks like and what to do about it.
One way to recognize a narcissist is to watch their usual responses to any challenge no matter how minor. The full blown narcissist cannot stand any challenge whatever and will retaliate to devalue or demean the one who calls them to account about their thinking or their behavior.
We have been taught through the secular school system that there are no bad people. According to the most educators in our country, everyone that does evil is merely responding to difficulty. Of course this is the opposite of what God tells us in His Word.
God tells us we are born sinful, with a pervasive bent toward selfishness and evil. The only solution according to God's Word is to ask God to cleanse us from our sinfulness. Christ living in us is the answer to the problem of sin.
When we live in a culture that believes a person gets angry because someone else made them angry, then we tend to remove all consequences for sin, through language like "forgive them even if they are not repentant. This thinking was fostered by psychology not by the Word of God.
God teaches that unless there is sorrow over sin and confession of it, there will be no change in behavior. Yes, there are people who will just get better at hiding their sinfulness, but they can't do it forever. Eventually the authentic heart will reveal itself over time, showing what was in the heart all along.
Psalm 51:17 "My sacrifice, O God, is[a] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise."
Proverbs 28:13 "Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."
The way we handle the unsaved who will not stop their sinfulness is to tell them the truth and walk away if they don't receive it, their need is the gospel to learn Who can cleanse from sin, that being Jesus Christ.
Matthew 10:14 "…13 If the home is worthy, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 And if anyone will not welcome you or heed your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. 15 Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town."
Those who are born again believers who will not listen to a rebuke, we are told to remove ourselves from them while praying that God will reach them through life experiences.
Titus 3:10-11 " 10 Reject a divisive man after a first and second admonition, 11 knowing that such a man is corrupt and sinful; he is self-condemned.…"
Everyone is to have consequences, saved or unsaved. Without consequences the born again believer feels free to continue in their sin. Without consequences the unsaved feel empowered to remain in control of their own life, sensing no need for Christ's cleansing.
Our culture has removed nearly all consequences for sinful behavior and attitudes, making many people feel comfortable in their sin, growing worse as they become older, solidifying in their heart the sin that dwells there.
Psalm 35:5 "I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah"
James 4:17 "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."
We are a culture that has taken it's cues from secular psychology rather than the Bible. No where in God's Word will we find the concept that we must forgive unrepentant people for our own sake. God says if we do not forgive He will not forgive us. This is true, but many people have taken this out of context, forgetting that we must forgive the WAY God does. That is to hold people accountable, tell them the truth and act based on their response to the correction or rebuke.
James 5:16 " 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
James 4:7-10 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you."
If someone will rage at us for correcting or rebuking them, then they remain full of pride that God must deal with before they will be able to hear anything He might lead us to reveal to them. If the pride is not dealt with, then the person remains in rebellion and will not hear.
Mark 4:8-9 "8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it sprouted, grew up, and produced a crop—one bearing thirtyfold, another sixtyfold, and another a hundredfold.” 9 Then Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
1 John 1:8-10 "…8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar, and His word is not in us.…"
There is only one way to be forgiven by God or by man, that is to confess it. It takes a humble and broken man or woman to confess their sin. When someone has reached the point of brokenness and confession, then is when we will see change in their heart and behavior.
Without the sadness over sin and confession openly, there cannot be moving forward in holiness for the believer and there cannot be salvation for the unbeliever.
Pride must be dealt with, it is the attitude that got the devil thrown out of heaven.
Do we care more about our own feelings than we do about the eternal state of the unbeliever or the regression in holiness for the believer? Yes, it does feel awful sometimes when we have to confront sin in someone we love, often we lose them as friends or are rejected by them for calling them to account. We must be willing to obey God and accept the rejection if it comes. Do I love God more than I love anyone else? Do I care more about the eternal state of a person, than I do about being loved by man?
Matthew 10:37 ""He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me."
John 12:43 "43 For they loved praise from men more than praise from God. "
Many have fallen into the trap of excusing sin in the name of "just forgive them", without accountability. It isn't very hard to see from Scripture, if we really look, that this mantra came from "Egypt", rather than from God.
We can see what has happened to the church gatherings, the school systems and government because of the selfishness of refusing to call anyone to account for wicked behavior.
Now we have men going into women's bathrooms claiming to be women, simply to keep the perverted fowl and depraved person feeling "good about himself."
My question is "why do we want wicked people to feel good about themselves?" God wants them to feel broken and defeated by their evil lives, so that they will see their need for Him. The more we "love up", without telling the truth, to the evil man the more solidified in his heart is the lifestyle he has chosen.
Isaiah 26:10 "10 Though the wicked is shown favor, He does not learn righteousness; He deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, And does not perceive the majesty of the LORD. "
Grace is not for the unrepentant. Grace is designed by God to be for those who want cleansing.
James 4:6-7 "6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “- God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
When we forgive before repentance we are enablers, removing the incentive to turn to Christ. It is the opposite of the gospel. The devil has been very cleaver in deceiving people into believing that happy smiles and removal of judgment will cause a wicked man to repent, it is simply not Biblical. It is consequences, Biblical truth and the threat of hell that causes the wicked man to realize his lost and depraved condition along with his need to be saved from his sin and hell.
And, forgiveness without repentance is not love God's way. It makes ourselves feel better, but it doesn't help anyone to become saved or more holy. All the things we have learned in school based on psychology were nothing more than human wisdom developed by the devil to negate what really works, God's Biblical way of salvation, confession and repentance, helped along by consequences.
When we teach there are no consequences for sin, we remove the idea that hell might be a consequence. If life has no consequences then maybe God doesn't either, in the minds of those who hate to be held accountable.
My last question: How can we believe in Christ as the solution to sin and salvation, when we don't believe His principles?
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