We cannot forget but the feelings of betrayal lose their power when we have been rightly reconciled. Anyone who says I forgive you but I can't forget is really saying "I don't forgive you." To continue to hold something over another persons head when they have repented and confessed, is a wicked person hoping to heap more guilt upon the repentant person.
If we are a humble person seeking God, our heart melts when someone confesses their sin against us. We are more likely to weep with them as they sorrow over their wrong.
Those who do not sorrow over a repentant person, walks in pride, despising the broken person with only one aim in mind and that is to hold over the head of the confessor their past, it's called bitterness and unforgiveness no matter what they may say.
Saying "I forgive but I can't forget" is a mechanism of control over another person, tantamount to kicking someone when they are down.
Same on those who use such a phrase as this to control and demean someone who is making things right. The repentant person continues to grow in holiness, while the wicked one who is hell bent on getting their pound of flesh, walks deeper into bitterness, themselves in need of repentance and confession of their own sin.
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