Encouragement and gratitude is far different from manipulative flattery. I am convinced believers who are discerning can see the difference. It is impossible to become emotionally connected to those who use flattery to disarm others.
We are not in bondage to the responses of others, the day the Lord revealed this to me was the day I was set free, from false guilt that kept me an emotional prisoner to everyone else's responses.
People often will attempt to manipulate us into becoming just like them. We will not be accepted unless we say what they say, do what they do and praise them for who they are, frequently.
The nature of our culture is that everyone has been overly praised and validated, even when that praise is false and undeserved. There are even those who will praise others to cause someone to feel diminished, as though if we are not like their "hero" we are not worthy of respect and honor. Withholding encouragement is a classic narcissistic manipulation, designed to diminish us while elevating the one who practices this.
This culture calls this excessive and nauseating praise "love", but it is not love, it is flattery, clearly what God condemns.
Proverbs 29:5 "5 A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps. 6 By transgression an evil man is ensnared, But the righteous sings and rejoices.…"
When we love someone our expressions of gratitude and honor are genuine, they are clearly coming from the heart.
Flattery to gain advantage is nothing more than self exaltation.
Jude 1:16 " 16 These men are discontented grumblers, following after their own lusts; their mouths spew arrogance; they flatter others for their own advantage. "
May we as believers learn what the genuine love looks like and stop all the arrogant play acting that serves only to elevate self. May we ignore flattery and enjoy the genuine expressions of kindness, may we learn to discern the difference.
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