Husbands should lead by example and loving persuasion, not harsh rules and demands.
When a husband acts loving and kind, the wife is far more likely to want to follow him.
Husbands should not make rules and demand that they be followed, there is a difference between a dictatorship and a benevolent leadership. He also has no business dictating the wife's role over the household. God gave that domain to the wife, not to the man. If a man dictates how the household will be run, then he usurps the authority of God. God gave that job to the woman and the man must trust her in her job.
Men who dictate and punish when things don't go his way, is one who is selfish, only desiring his own way. This is not godly but devilish.
How many husbands do you know who train their children to love God and make their wife someone they respect and uplift? Not very many.
Wives are not to be intimidated, coerced or trampled on by the husband to obey. The husband has not been given any mandate to force their wives into submission. They are commanded to love them, the choice to submit is the wife's. The husband bears the responsibility to nurture and love the wife and the wife is given the responsibility to follow. The husband will be held accountable for leading in a Christ like manner and the wife is responsible to follow when he obeys God. No one is responsible for the other ones choices. The wife should not badger the man into leading and the husband should not badger the wife into submission. Both are ungodly responses to disobedience. Each should pray for the other while doing their best to obey God.
A husband who badgers, coerces or demeans a wife in any way will be in sin!!!! Did you hear that? Sin!!!!
A woman who will not obey her husband when he is not disobeying God, will be in sin....Got that? Sin!!!!
Christ never forces His children, nor does He demean and mock. He leads with loving truth.
Ephesians 5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;
8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),
10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
14 For this reason it says,
“Awake, sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you.”
15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;
21 and be subject to one another in the [p]fear of Christ.
Marriage Like Christ and the Church
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church [q]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
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