There is a terrible teaching that appeals to narcissistic husbands. There is a movement that makes the husband the god of the wife. There is a big difference between being a leader and being a god.
When a woman obeys a husband who is telling her to disobey God then that husband is the god over the woman usurping the authority of Christ in the woman's life.
Any woman who allows her husband to be in place of God has an idol in her life. As born again believers we desire to please our husbands everywhere we can, except when he asks us to dishonor God.
The function of the wife in obeying her husband is her choice to obey Him in obedience to God. If she disobeys God to obey a husband then God is not the authority over her, she places her husband in the place of God.
Leading is not the same as the function of a Holy God. Any man who dictates to the wife through intimidation and force is in sin against God.
1 Peter 3:7-9 "7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;
9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing."
This post is about the treatment of men toward their wives because of the wrong doctrine that is becoming popular in the church. The idea that women are treated with contempt and dishonor simply because they are women. This is what the pagans do not the born again believers.
I could write all the scriptures about women submitting and obeying, but since that has been almost overdone to the point of placing nearly all the onus upon the woman for a good marriage through her hyper-submissioin, even as a child to a parent. It is in error and in need of correction.
Women should pay close attention to the mandate God has given her to obey and please her husband and men should pay close attention to his role of protecting, encouraging and honoring the wife. Each one must pay attention to the mandate given to them to be sure they are personally obeying God.
It is not for the man to beat the woman over the head with submission when the man is disobeying God through dishonoring the woman.
It is not for women to beat the man over the head with what God gave to him when the woman is not obeying God in the area that belongs to her.
If each spouse is obeying God then they will be living out the marriage as God instructed with great joy and peace. It is wrong for a spouse to focus on the duties of the other one, each one must focus on their own mandates from God.
If the husband will not obey God then the woman must speak of it and then leave it to God through prayer. If the woman is not obeying God the man must speak of it then leave it to God through prayer.
When each of us is looking to our own responsibility then it is less likely for there to be discord in the family. We are less likely to mistreat our spouse when we are focused on what we should be.
Adding to all this, if a child is judging the marriage of the parents that child is overstepping, inserting their nose where it does not belong. The child is not responsible to evaluate the marriage of their parents nor are inlaw children.
Each one must take care of their own business without judging what does not belong to them. There are so many nuances to relationships that onlookers cannot possibly know exactly what is going on with anyone.
The responsibility of the children is to honor and love their parents, not to judge their business.
Proverbs 1:8-9 "8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother. 9 For they are a garland of grace on your head, and a pendant around your neck.
When each person pays close attention to their own stuff they will be less likely to have time to evaluate what everyone else is doing.
I have noticed in recent years that those who are in rebellion in their hearts are the ones looking to dominate and judge things that are none of their business.
Wise people understand they do not know everything about someone else's marriage or interpersonal relationships. Those who insert their nose into business that is not theirs ends up with a bent and twisted nose.
Proverbs 26:17
"17 Like one who takes a dog by the ears
Is he who passes by and [a]meddles with strife not belonging to him."
1 Thessalonians 4:10-12
"10 for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more, 11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you, 12 so that you will behave properly toward outsiders and not be in any need."
2 Thessalonians 3:11-13
"11 For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies.
12 Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread.
13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good."
Exodus 23:1-2
Sundry Laws
"23 “You shall not bear a false report; do not join your hand with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.
2 You shall not follow the masses in doing evil, nor shall you testify in a dispute so as to turn aside after a multitude in order to pervert justice;"
When someone makes judgments about others when they could not possibly know all the nuances of a person's life, they are in sin.
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