My personal testimony about the permanency of marriage and God's will in a difficult marriage.
We have to remember we chose the person we married and probably without much prayer. I believe God would have warned us and we would have listened if we had asked Him.
Most people base their desire for someone on physical attraction and on how friendly they are before the marriage. Everyone is friendly to the one they want to win. It is very hard to discern a person's character when we are busy desiring them. The clues are always there, we just ignore them to focus on what we want to believe about them.
In my case, I was a cultural Christian who became Catholic to marry my husband. I was 16 years old when we became engaged. We married when I was 18 and no we didn't live together as people do now.
After we were married I became a Christian while my husband was an unsaved Catholic. It was rough, he was angry at me all the time about everything because of my "radical Christian thinking." I prayed that God would save him, and eventually, he did. My point, I was so convinced by God that I was to stay married no matter what that I agonized in prayer for his salvation. Yes there were times when I threatened divorce but God did not allow me to carry it out, He gave me His love to be able to see the value in the marriage even if I had to live in difficulty the rest of my life.
So often we ignore the clues before marriage that are blatantly evident after marriage. We don't seek God for our marriage and we rely on attraction rather than the important character qualities.
Bottom line: we must stay married, focus on prayer for our spouse and allow God to do work in us as we become more Christlike. Our focus cannot be on our trials, it must be on our own character building through the trials. Just some thoughts I learned that might help those in agony in a difficult marriage.
My children still treat me the way my husband did before he became born again. They do not love me nor do they want to hear from me. There is constant irritation at any mention of God as well as rejection toward me. I know this is because of the influence of non-believing family members who treated me with contempt during their up-bringing. They passed their stories about me to their spouses and I get the same treatment from their spouses.
I pray for my children regularly but have no expectation that things will be different between us because of the cultural influence of self-worship so deeply entrenched in this world. I no longer look for validation or love from family, all of that is fulfilled by Christ in me. It would be a happy day if this all changed and the family repented and became new creations in Christ, however, if that never happens I remain full of joy and love through Christ Who lives in me.
We have to remember we may never experience love in this world as the world grows darker, but we always have Christ who loved us more than any human being could. Many who would say they love and honor us do not know what it looks like because they do not have Christ. Christ's love is clearly evident to those of us who have experienced it, there is no question that it is far greater than any human love.
Matthew 10:35-37 "…35 For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ 37 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me;…"
Matthew 10:21
"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death."
Nehemiah 8:10
"Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
This passage was written to Israel but the lesson applies to all those today who love the Lord. He is our strength, if we have no one else we always have Him and He is enough.
Philippians 4:4
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice."
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