Grace is for the Repentant

Forgiveness requires both sides of the same coin, that is confession of offense and forgiveness when it happens. The purpose of forgiveness is to reconcile a relationship.

We are to forgive the way Christ forgives, that is when there is repentance.

Luke 17:3-4 "…3Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” "

Because of the teachings of psychology, most Christians believe we should forgive for ourselves even if the offender is not sorry. This is not Biblical. We are to forgive when someone is sorry.

However, we should not treat people badly just because they are not sorry but the relationship remains broken until the offender repents. Just as with Christ. Those who will not repent from their sinfulness will not be forgiven by God. He is our example.

Also, just because we "say" I forgive them, does not mean their heart will soften to be sorry. Enabling does not fix things for those who are not sorry they harmed someone.

Isaiah 26:10-11 "10 Though grace is shown to the wicked man, he does not learn righteousness. In the land of righteousness, he acts unjustly and fails to see the majesty of the LORD. 11 O LORD, Your hand is upraised, but they do not see it. They will see Your zeal for Your people and be put to shame. The fire set for Your enemies will consume them!…"

Grace is for the repentant, it is not given to the unrepentant.