The Narcissist in the Church Gathering

The narcissist tells on themselves by accusing others of what the narcissist is doing and the others are not.

When a narcissist accuses you of something they are revealing they are the ones doing that thing.

When a narcissist does not believe your account or story it's because when they tell a story it is either a lie or so embellished that it becomes a lie, in other words, a half-truth that makes a whole lie.

When a narcissist accuses you of being controlling they are describing themselves. They are deeply invested in controlling others. Even the slightest boundary of yours will be perceived as controlling. Narcissists hate the boundaries of others because it is a loss of control for them.

When a narcissist accuses you of not listening to them because you disagree with them, they are talking about themselves. Narcissists do not listen to understand, they listen to pull apart what you are saying to be superior to you.

When a narcissist accuses you of being selfish it's because they didn't get what they wanted from you. They have a tendency to use people and value things, when you have a boundary they interpret that as selfishness to deflect from their own entitled mentality.

In short, never take seriously what the narcissist says about you, it is always tainted with their own desire to control you while they never allow anyone else to tell them what to do. Narcissists are all about power and only power, they are hypocrites on a regular basis.

I have heard narcissists accuse others of being stubborn for not doing what the narcissists wanted. Accusation is a tool on their belt of lies. They use intimidation, rudeness, and shunning to control the emotions of others.

The key for us to remain Christlike in our walk is to see the antics of the narcissist for what it is, which is a tantrum by a person who displays the maturity of a bratty six-year-old, controlled by the devil.

When we remain calm ignoring their overt and even covert attacks we will not be drawn into a fight with them, which is their goal.

Satan loves to cause division and fighting.

Romans 16:17-18

"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive."

Titus 3:9-11

"But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned."

Narcissists love to argue, our marching orders from God are to avoid those who cause division. In order to avoid them, we are to be clear about how they operate and the results of their division.

Jude 1:16-19

"These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires; they are loud-mouthed boasters, showing favoritism to gain advantage. But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, “In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.” It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit."

We see the mentality of the narcissist described in 2 Timothy.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult (ragingly insane) times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

We notice that in verse 5 God said; "they have a form of godliness", meaning they are in the church, they may even be influencers in the church gathering who are narcissists attempting to control others through worldly means. They deny the power of God through their attitudes and actions while claiming to be a Christian. And, we are to avoid them, stripping them of power over us or others.

God tells us to get away from them. The danger of remaining with them is that eventually, our flesh will respond as they respond, in fleshly frustration we will become like them. Those who do not become like them will learn to remain silent, quenching the Holy Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 5:18-20 "…18 Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not extinguish the Spirit. 20 Do not treat prophecies with contempt,…"

We quench the Holy Spirit when we go silent out of fear of the retaliation or fighting the narcissist might cause. Many church gatherings today have been dominated by narcissists who have little interest in the Bible except to use it to further their own agendas. Many if not most churches today have become blatantly social gatherings to further political or social agendas rather than a desire to worship God and equip the saints for evangelism.

Notice too in 1 Thessalonians that we are to give thanks in everything. When we do this we do not allow the devil to turn us into angry frustrated control instruments that detract from Christ.

When we become angry and frustrated about the world around us we are distracted from the joy and peace that leads us to share the gospel with those who are perishing. The mentality of the narcissist in a politically driven gathering is an “us against them” mentality which has no place in the heart of someone who loves God and wants to share the gospel with the lost.

We ought never to have an “us against them” mentality when it comes to the brethren or the unsaved. When we love people we give them what they need, whether it be support for the brethren or the gospel to the lost.

The born-again believer ought never to have a spirit of contention over things that do not matter just to be superior.

Romans 14:19 “So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification. If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men.”

Romans 14:17,19

“For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.”

Pride is at the root over everyone who fights to be superior or fights because they enjoy the battle. It is the same problem of pride that got the devil thrown out of heaven and that will cast most people into hell.

Think about it!!!!