Love-bombing to gain an advantage is flattery which is clearly condemned by God and even a form of witchcraft. This is what the devil did in the garden with Eve when he flattered her that she could be like God by disobeying Him. The devil wanted Eve to do what he did, that is to rebel against the Most High God. Evil always likes to have companions who follow them.
Proverbs 29:5
"A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet."
Encouragement cheers on and inspires one to keep going in the right direction or make the right choices.
Correction with the desire to help is encouragement that redirects someone who is open to changing their behavior.
Those who resist all correction resist encouragement. They have been trained by our culture to believe praise is encouragement but it is really the building up of pride, which God hates. Praise is for God alone!
God sees flattery and praise as deceitful because it tends to elevate the one praising and the one receiving the praise. If we cannot do the right thing without praise then we are manipulative ourselves.
Proverbs 26:24-28
"Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling. A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin."
Praise is for God alone and when administered to people it becomes manipulation.
It is my belief that most people who "praise" others regularly are those who would like to be praised themselves.
I love encouragement in the form of agreement about what I believe and correction to learn more as I grow in wisdom. It is not useful or valuable for me to have my "feelings" messaged, just as the Bible says, flattery disarms a person taking them down the road of self-exaltation, this is not helpful to our Spiritual growth, all it does is cause us to focus on ourselves instead of God.
Those who need praise are still self-exalted and self-focused. Those who love God and do what they believe is right have no need for praise.
Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."
Phrases like: "I'm so glad you did that", or "I appreciate your help" or "You might want to change what you did because...." or "that way will harm you" or "can I help you accomplish this", or "keep going it is the right thing to do", are not phrases of praise, they are encouragement that motivates people to seek the right way.
Our culture likes anything that makes them personally look better than the next person, this is competitive and destructive to relationships. Competitiveness toward others should not be a part of the Christian walk. We compete with ourselves to become better but not against others to be higher than they.
Those who are competitive with others and need personal praise will never be able to suffer for Christ. Their pride would not allow them to be rebuffed without fighting back and destroying whatever influence for Christ they may have had if they had humbly accepted persecution.
1 Thessalonians 2:1-20
"For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming to you was not in vain. But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much conflict. For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness."
Those who are competitive are acting this way to be seen as superior by men. These people are addicted to the superiority in their own mind not in accordance with their accomplishments.
Here is what God calls these kinds of people:
Jude 1:16
"These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires; they are loud-mouthed boasters, showing favoritism to gain advantage."
Competitive people always show favoritism, they only accept those who elevate them as special and are rude and mean to those who are confident, not bowing to their combative ways.
Proverbs 26:28
"A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin."
Psalm 36:2
"For he flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated."
Competitive people are boasters, if we find in ourselves any of these traits it is good to go to prayer asking the Lord to expunge them from our hearts so that the desire to be superior would be gone so that we can witness the gospel to the unsaved and teach good things to the brethren with a pure heart.
May we all learn more about what is in our own heart to grow and learn to walk as Christ walked. Hallelujah!
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