Needing to be seen as "nice" is more about appearances than authenticity. Kindness is associated with truth. Nice is superficial, and kindness is deeper with purpose.
Nice is associated with keeping the peace at the expense of truth. Kindness is driven by the truth that deepens character.
Ephesians 4:32 "32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Niceness cannot sustain a relationship; without depth, the relationship cannot grow. Growth depends on two people being honest and authentic to resolve life issues with the well-being of others in mind.
"Nice" care only about getting along, even if it compromises truth to keep a sense of peace.
Nice very rarely helps fix relationship problems. Assertiveness with kindness grows individuals and makes the relationships deeper and more long-lasting.
Ephesians 4:15 "15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ,"
Growth rarely comes without facing things we would rather not face. The things we avoid in our character are the things we must admit and confront. IF we love one another, we will seek to help one another grow.
Christ was hated for being openly truthful, and so will we be hated for speaking boldly. Yes, we share with others to help because we love them. If they do not receive the love and fight and argue to do whatever they want to do that may harm them, we are no longer responsible to continue the attempt to convince them.
Prayer is necessary so that we will be bathed in the Holy Spirit as He guides us.
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