Forgiveness without repentance cheapens the sacrifice of Christ on the cross! Requiring repentance forces an offender to take a good long look at himself. If he does not want to look at himself, refusing to desire change in his own heart, then he is rebellious and should not receive forgiveness.
Many people cry because they got caught, but have no sorrow in their hearts for the sin they have done. Only repentance, a change of mind, produces brokenness over sin, and is worthy of forgiveness.
We must act as Christ acted, desiring to forgive and doing it when there is repentance. When Christ was on the cross and prayed, "Father forgive them they know not what they do", the Father was not forgiving anyone without repentance, Christ was asking the Father to extend forgiveness to mankind, for those who want it.
Matthew 31:22 "32 For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him."
Luke 17:3 "3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and IF they repent, forgive them."
We have seen in our culture what happens when there is no accountability for sin, there is total and unrestrained anarchy against the principles of God. When we have no standard to hold up for honor, then we have no respect for God.
Personal feelings can never take precedence over the ways of Christ. His ways are true, effective and bring permanent change. Human ways based on psychology make everyone feel better but have no lasting real change.
Feelings are unstable, we can feel like we are sorry one minute over getting caught, while in the next moment when we see we are excused so easily, we return to our vomit, doing the same things we did before because there was no brokenness over sin, there was merely an emotional reaction to getting rid of the consequences we didn't want to have to endure.
When are we going to learn that doing the right thing according to God's ways, will bring the lasting and permanent healing.
Let's get rid of the psychology, the humanistic ways of dealing with sin and seek God to understand His ways, be dedicated to knowing Him, being cleansed and change by Him, then and only then will there be true healing.
Not everyone we meet will be fixed, many will remain rebellious their entire lives, no softening of the consequences will make them repent. If someone's heart is hardened because they refused to repent and were not forgiven, then they had that hard heart from the beginning and merely hardened it further because their emotional manipulation didn't gain them anything.
I am reminded of the account of the Pharaoh that would not let God's people go. God said that He hardened Pharaoh's heart, while in that same passage said that Pharaoh hardened his own heart. Both were true, God merely presented challenges that He knew would cause Pharaoh to harden his own heart. Exodus 8
When we require an attitude of repentance it is not for us that we do it, it is for the welfare of the person who needs to do it for his own healing and to be reconciled to those he has offended.
It is a good idea to seek God for His Ways, rather than listening to the secular "experts."
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