Do Not Engage with a Fool (Narcissist)

I notice how narcissists in my life can never ever admit a flaw, they want people to believe they are confident and perfect, hiding their real selves and becoming enraged when they are caught. More concerned about being caught than they are about what they did, they think they are hiding something.

We know they are not confident but are shame-based because of the tactics they use on us to create shame over things that have no shame. They want us to feel shame because they are full of shame over their own rudeness and willfulness.

A confident person can say things like; "I shouldn't have done that" or "I could have done better." Our confidence is not connected to our performance but to our belief in what is right and what is true. We are not devastated when we have to admit a flaw, it actually cleanses those who obey Christ.

1 John 1:9

"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Those who do not confess flaws regularly are building up shame upon shame day after day as they resist confessing. They often regress into child-like responses because of the mountain of shame they carry over their own decaying personality and faltering strength.

Narcissists do not grow emotionally or spiritually, they remain infants in their responses to life because they cannot face the truth if it does not elevate them. Their need to be elevated above others decays their inner soul.

We can only grow in maturity when we can tell the truth about ourselves, and even laugh at our own silly mistakes while being convicted by a wrong attitude. A confident person knows they are not perfect and can confidently say so.

The narcissist wants their targets to be ashamed of things that are not worthy of shame but refuse to admit anything about themselves.

In my personal experience I have seen narcissists make a fight over an innocent comment that most normal people would chuckle over and even agree with.

A narcissist can pick a fight over nothing and blame the other person for it.

Proverbs 19:3 " 3 A man’s own folly subverts his way, yet his heart rages against the LORD."

The fool causes his own downfall, ruins his own relationships and blames those he harmed.

Proverbs 18:6

"6 A fool’s lips bring strife,

And his mouth invites beatings."

I have known men who poked and poked at others with their mouths and were attacked physically by the person they tormented. Afterward, they blamed the person who physically attacked them but took no accountability for the words that started the whole thing.

I have seen women deliberately poke at other women with their mouths and blame the person who dissolved the friendship for walking away.

This phenomenon of poking with one's mouth to demean seems to be a growing concern. Those who think their rude comments and haughty demeanor can be denied are fooling themselves. Yes, they can deny what they did in front of people and even get others to side with them but they can never hide from God.

Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

James 3:5-6 – “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness.”

WHY DO PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE THEY CAN HIDE FROM PEOPLE THEY CAN ALSO HIDE FROM GOD? My guess is that they can't really believe in God as they say or they would be more concerned about Him seeing them than they are about what people can prove.

Matthew 12:36-37 – “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words, you will be condemned.”

May the Lord give us strength to resist the prods and polks of the devil's minions. They would like nothing better than to provoke us into fear and frustration ultimately becoming just like them.

Proverbs 26:4-5

"4 Do not answer a fool according to his foolishness,

Or you will also be like him.

5 Answer a fool as his foolishness deserves,

So that he will not be wise in his own eyes."

A fool deserves no answer at all, to answer a fool is to feed their appetite for argument and folly.

Proverbs 16:24 – “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”