Narcissists Hate Our Freedom

Narcissists hate that we have the freedom to chose to be who we want to be.

As a believer I choose to follow Christ. No man made rules that are not in the Bible will control me, Christ controls, instructs and guides me.

As we move into these end times we will find ourselves being judge rashly and unjustly when we make choices that do not adhere to the narcissists view of life.

My husband and I have a great marriage. We talk things out to determine the best course of action or the actions that will be helpful to one another. We have also had our challenges and have worked through those.

My experience with narcissists is that they tend to think they should decide for my marriage what I should be doing and attempt to influence my husband as to our decisions, so that he alone decides what I will be doing.

Our marriage is one of mutual decision. We discuss things and come to mutual agreement on our course of actions. He will do what he feels led to do and I will do what I feel led to do. If my husband disagrees with me we discuss things further. I may choose not to do something he doesn't want me to do, I never defy my husband when he has a concern.

I will attempt to convince him of something when it is a very important matter, but I do not make a decision against him ever.

Those who think the husband is the god of the marriage believe the husband can do no wrong, therefore has all the say all the time. This is not Biblical nor is it wise.

God created man and woman to work together, their decisions together are no one else's business. I also understand that narcissists will often attempt to work husband and wife against one another through favoritism. If they favor one spouse over another they hope to cause that favored spouse to come against the targeted spouse.

Thankfully this does not work in our marriage. Anyone who attempts to interfere in my husband's and my decisions will be summarily dismissed and excluded from our lives.

No one has any business interfering in anyone else's marriage. Nor does anyone outside that marriage relationship possibly know the dynamics of someone else's marriage relationship.

God told the marriage couple to leave their father and mother and cleave to their spouse. That means that the couple alone make the decisions for the marriage and everyone else removes their poky nose from it. When husband and wife cleave to one another no one else, adult children or aging parents have any business inserting themselves into that marriage.

I hate with a passion the doctrine that has been taught in recent years that the woman must say nothing, do nothing and be nothing. She must shuffle her feat while bending over in worship to her husband. There is only one that we worship and that is Christ. We love our husband very much, but we do not make him our god.

We work hard as women to please our husband but we do not allow him to shape us into his image. God gave women and men individual personalities and gifts for a reason, that is to help one another with the weaknesses and enhance the strengths of our spouse.

Those women who always remain silent to their husbands will only serve to enable them in areas that need work as well as husbands who remain silent toward their wives.

No one is going to like these statements very much. The women's libbers will hate me for saying we should work as a team in marriage. The ultra submission crowd is going to label me unsubmissive because I believe we are to be the helpmates to our husband in all that they do. Help meaning in ALL things, including advice.

As women our first responsibility is toward God and our second one is toward our husband. Our husbands are to honor us. If anyone in extended family attempts to remove that honor for wife from the husband, they must be removed and excluded. Wife is to honor their husband as the head of the household.

I am sensitive to those marriage in which the husband will not lead and the woman must carry on for Christ by herself. That is another matter for another discussion.

Ephesians 5:25-33
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

We do not intimidate, dominate and demean someone we cherish. We do not disregard those we love, in fact we seek to help those we love to blossom in the gifts God has given them.

False judgments and accusations based on scanty and spurious evidence are condemned by God. Anyone doing this will be chastised by God.

We see this often in marriages where the extended family hate your freedom in the marriage so they work to destroy what God has joined.

My husband has said it many times, "we are one, you are the other half of me." I am not an extension of him as a slave and master. I am the other half of him, and he is the other half of me. We make decisions together, enhance the individual gifts of the other and leave lots of room for diversity in activities as well as personalities.

The woman works along side her husband with the skillful mind God has given her. She is not merely a robot to be bossed about like an object. The woman is a smart, handy, welcome half of her husband as she helps him make decisions, carries her own load of the household duties as well as whatever the husband needs in his work too.

Both are wrong: 1. the wife merely does the bidding of the husband without input and 2. the wife is independent of the man.

It always astonishes me the way many people tend to take one or two passages from the Word to make their case for their desired view. When often the answer is in the middle somewhere.

It is disturbing when either of these wrong views are not interested in the truth, but will rage against any suggestion that perhaps their view needs prayer and contemplation.

Having been married 47 years my husband and I have worked along side one another, even with all our flaws and warts we got through that which needed work and remain to be there for one another.

There have been times when extended family attempted to insert themselves in our marriage, jealous of our growing together. Do not allow anyone else to judge your marriage, they have no business and they cannot see all the nuances of another person's life experience.

I praise the Lord for those couples who understand that marriage is work and that both parties matter in the marriage. One is not more important than another, both are cherished by God and both have a job to do within the marriage.