Forgiveness is for restoring a relationship when someone is repentant. Without a change of the heart, we are not required to forgive. However, we are required to love our enemies by praying for them.
Luke 17:3-5 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent, you must forgive him. 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”…"
"IF he returns to say, 'I repent', is part of the verse everyone seems to ignore.
When we forgive hoping to feel better about ourselves it is not for the sake of the offender. When we forgive before there is repentance then we are enablers, helping the sinner to continue acting in ungodly ways.
Relationships are not based on letting everything go. Yes, sometimes the offense is minor and happens rarely, then we can let those things go. But when a person is continually offensive, has been told, and will not stop, then we are obligated to remove ourselves from them unless we live with them.
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
God only forgives us "if we confess" to be cleansed. Without confession of sin there is no change of behavior. Those who will not admit they have sinned will not grow nor will they restore a friendship.
Our desire above all else ought to be to please God more than to feel better or keep a relationship that is destructive to our walk with Christ.
Every command of God has a purpose and that purpose is to help us and others to stop sinning and obey Him in all we do. When our focus is self we will do the "easy" thing that makes us feel good rather than the hard work of reconciliation His way.
Acts 17:30
"The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent,"
Because of our modern idea that we should not require repentance for offenses in our relationships there are many people who believe they do not have to be sorrowful over their sinfulness to be saved. They think God just overlooks their sin without any requirement for a changed life.
God will not forgive anyone who is not broken over their sinfulness. These people who think so are pretenders and were never born again.
We are not saved by obedience, but when we realize we are sinful in our very core and confess that to Christ, He will come and clean us up which leads to a changed life. We do not change ourselves, God changes our heart to want what He wants. This results in a completely different way of life than we had before.
Those who say they are Christian but remain resistant to God's commands are not and never have been born again.
2 Corinthians 5:17 "17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
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