There is also a big misunderstanding in today's' Christianity, the idea that forgiveness should be passed out to those who are not repentant. God clearly said:
Luke 17:3-4 "3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”…"
God never said anywhere that we automatically become bitter if we do not forgive an unrepentant person who has offended us. That thinking all comes from psychology that is born out of Darwinism.
God told us to pray for our enemies, at the same time telling us to remove ourselves from them so that our lives will be at peace.
Forgiving an unrepentant sinner is thinking we are better than God.
He doesn't do that and we should not either. Psychology says that if we forgive the hearts of the offender will melt and like Jesus. the Bible does not teach this anywhere.
Isaiah 26:10 "10Though grace is shown to the wicked man, he does not learn righteousness. In the land of righteousness, he acts unjustly and fails to see the majesty of the LORD."
Pretending someone is forgiven even if they are not sorry is the same as enabling. We are never to be mean or rude to these people but that is not forgiveness. Forgiveness is for the purpose of reconciling a relationship. A relationship cannot be reconciled when there is only forgiveness without repentance.
Confession of the sin and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin, one cannot be separated from the other.
We pray for our enemies but we do not remain close friends, until and unless they become repentant for their offense. We are not talking about silly things like parking their car in our space, those are things we let go, but offenses that can destroy a relationship, such as abuse, theft or adultery, must be resolved by confession of sin and forgiveness, that one coin.
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
We are to forgive the way God forgives, this is His plan for the greater good. Letting offenders off does not change them any more than punishment does. They must see their own sinfulness through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, then God can work on them. We punish people who have committed crimes to keep them from harming society or even families, but ultimately they must be dealt with Biblically, that is withholding forgiveness and requiring accountability that they may see themselves in truth, which is sinful.
Acts 3:19
"Repent, therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,"
Confession of sin and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin, one cannot be separated from the other.
Isaiah 26:10-11 "10 Though grace is shown to the wicked man, he does not learn righteousness. In the land of righteousness, he acts unjustly and fails to see the majesty of the LORD.11 O LORD, Your hand is upraised, but they do not see it. They will see Your zeal for Your people and be put to shame. The fire set for Your enemies will consume them!…"
The reason for forgiving the unrepentant is to make ourselves feel superior. If we love people we help them to achieve what God wants for them, that is growth in holiness and true reconciliation in which the offender no longer offends us or anyone else.
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