Man's Rules or the Holy Spirit Guide

One of the characteristics of a narcissist, is their ability to take petty simple and very small matters and blow them into monsters for no other purpose than to upset and control their targets. We don't see them getting down on the floor kicking their legs and flailing their arms but that is exactly what they are doing on the inside.

When we say no to a narc because we do not want to do something they want us to do, they will use manipulative language such as, "I know someone else who likes to do it."

LOL, why would knowing someone else who likes what I don't like, make me feel small or guilty? The only reason I would be easily manipulated by a narc to do what he wants, even though I don't really want to do it, is if I am worried about what the narc thinks of me, when the narc has no concern about me at all, they merely want their way.

Proverbs 29:25 "The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted."

One of the favorite tactics of a narcissist is to attempt to make us feel guilty for not doing their bidding. God never called us to give everyone their desires, nor did He call us to provide all the needs of every human being.

We are called to pray, hear God and obey what He tells us and when to do it. When a narcissists places undo pressure on us to participate in their functions, but God has not called us to do it, then we can kindly retort, "God never told me to do that." This response ends all discussion and guilt tripping. Anyone who is attempting to pressure us will stop when we tell them to "go fight with God about it."

When our desire is to please God above all else, it won't matter to us who likes or dislikes us for our decision.

I no longer say yes to people simply because they ask for something. God speaks to me often, He compels me to do some things and compels me not to do other things. How much and how often is not a measure of obedience either, each matter must be given over to God. Often I don't even have to pray about something, I just know immediately that God is not "compelling" me to participate.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 "14 For the love of Christ controls (compels) us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; 15 and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf."

On one occasion in recent years I went with my emotions saying yes to something without thinking. All the next day I was in continual distress over it. I wasn't analyzing it at all, but the Holy Spirit made me so uncomfortable that I had to go back and tell the people involved that I was not having any peace about the event and had to decline after all. Once I obeyed God and declined, the peace flooded back into my soul. All turmoil left me and the joy returned.

We are not called to be available to the whims of others. We are called to be so in tune with the voice of the Holy Spirit that we KNOW when He is speaking to us. I hear Him all the time now more than ever. The more we seek and obey Him, the more we hear Him.

Many people are too busy worrying about man made rules that they can't hear the Holy Spirit, they are content to be controlled by men rather than the Holy Spirit.