There are almost too many unbiblical ideas floating around in the Christian church today that it is hard to recognize the truth when it comes along.
The modern Christian church has bought into a very damaging belief coming out of the teaching of psychology, that is that love means expressing oneself carefully so as not to offend the hearer.
1 Timothy 5:20-21 "20 But those who persist in sin should be rebuked in front of everyone so that the others will stand in fear of sin. 21 I solemnly charge you before God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels to maintain these principles without bias, and to do nothing out of partiality.…"
Many people who say; "we need to be careful how we say something so that it will be received by the hearer do not understand some basic principles of scripture.
The Holy Spirit has many expressions for the many different personality types, He knows what each person needs to hear and how they need to hear it.
There are no commands in the Bible that tell us to be careful how we say something. There is a command to speak in love, unfortunately, the interpretation of love is faulty in our day. There is also a command to speak from the Holy Spirit, not our own words but words from the Holy Spirit Who lives in us.
We speak out of love, meaning with the desire for the hearer to realize their need for God and to impart wisdom that will help them to resolve things in their lives. Our concern is for the well-being of the hearer and their relationship with Christ, not for their temporary feelings.
Love is many things depending on the need of the hearer. Some people need us to weep with someone when they are repentant, as we help to restore them to fellowship with God.
Galatians 6:1-2 "1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him with a spirit of gentleness. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.…"
The tenderness here is to help a broken and contrite spirit to become whole again, free from condemnation and guilt. But it is vitally important that the person admit their sin, repent while desiring to correct what is wrong.
Love may mean a harsh rebuke to turn a stubborn heart back to obedience to God.
Titus 1:12-14 "…12 As one of their own prophets has said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” 13 This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sternly, so that they will be sound in the faith 14 and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the commands of men who have rejected the truth.…"
Often when someone in our culture becomes angry because we had to tell them a hard truth, onlookers will say we must have done something wrong to make the hearer angry. This could not be farther from the truth.
There is also the false idea that we should build a relationship with someone before we have earned the right to correct them, or even preach the gospel to them. This is counter to the Bible, since the Apostles were told to preach to strangers in towns and if they were not received they were told to shake the dust from their feet as a testimony against that household. They had no time to "build a relationship as a right to speak into their lives", this is blatant psychology that negates the work of the Holy Spirit.
People choose to be angry because they are prideful and stubborn. People choose to reject Christ because of their own hearts not because of the one who brought them the gospel.
I have seen people correct another person mildly and with compassion in their heart and yet are accused by the hearer and the onlookers as having been mean or rude because of the negative reaction of the hearer.
Remember narcissists will interpret our delivery in terms of how they feel not in how it was genuinely delivered.
Our culture thinks people make one another angry, the truth is that a person chooses to be angry. For many people, anger is a defensive mechanism to control perceptions. The reactions of people tell a lot about their hearts. Anger shows us there is anger in the heart before it ever came out of their mouths and before they ever heard the correction.
When a stubborn person does not like to hear the truth they will accuse us of unkindness to manipulate us into feeling shame for telling the truth. It happened in the apostle's day and it happens today.
Galatians 4:16-17 "16 Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth? 17 Those people are zealous for you, but not in a good way. Instead, they want to isolate you from us, so that you may be zealous for them.…"
2 Timothy 4:3
"3 For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires,"
The more emotionally sensitive a culture becomes the more that culture reacts in negative and even violent ways to correction. The reason for the sensitive emotional nature is pride. Whenever there is pride there is hypersensitivity to correction, rebuke, and admonition.
Those who are hypersensitive to criticism are demonstrating self-worship. "How dare anyone suggests they are in need of correction."
Since they are the god in their own eyes they will become volatile when confronted with their frail humanity.
Proverbs 14:13-15 "…13 Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in sorrow. 14 The backslider in heart receives the fill of his own ways, but a good man is rewarded for his ways. 15 The simple man believes every word, but the prudent man watches his steps."
In these last days, we will hear more foolishness coming out of the apostate church than truth. We cannot let it discourage us, perhaps we must even work harder to remain faithful to the truth even if no one will come alongside us.
When we leave this world, when Christ takes us out, we want to be found faithful no matter if anyone else around us comes alongside us.
Proverbs 12:14
"By fruitful speech, a man is filled with good things, and the work of his hands returns to him."
Jeremiah 2:19
Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts."
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