God told us to forgive when they come to confess. Confession and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin, they must both happen for the relationship to be reconciled. We are not reconciled to God without confession of sin and a desire not to repeat the offense. God will not change a person who does not want to be changed. Also, nowhere in scripture does God say we are to forgive those who are not sorry.
Luke 17:3-4 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”…"
When someone will not be sorry we are not obligated to forgive them. However, this does not mean that we treat them disrespectfully, we are to bless those who curse us and in some cases remove them from our lives if they are constant offenders.
I am not pleased when Christians pressure victims to forgive unrepentant offenders. The purpose of confession and forgiveness is to reconcile a relationship, the relationships cannot be reconciled when someone believes it was alright to offend, has no inclination of caring enough to work out the problem, and even continues the offense.
2 Timothy 3:5 "from such get away." is the command God gave us when abusers will not stop their abuse. When people demonstrate their hatred for God and us we are not to forgive them. God will not forgive anyone who is not sorry they are sinful.
2 Corinthians 7:10
"For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death."
Mark 1:15
"and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.”
Acts 2:38
"Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."
Also, we feel frustrated and remain angry because nothing has been resolved with unrepentant offenders. We don't need to be angry we just give it to God and walk away. We do not have to forgive to remain godly without bitterness.
The idea that we will automatically become bitter and angry when we don't forgive an unrepentant offender comes from psychology, it does not come from the Bible.
No one who refuses to repent will be saved by God. He does not hear their prayers and will not take them to heaven if they die without trusting in Him.
Sadly so many ideas that Christians teach today are not Biblical and leave offenders and the unsaved thinking they will go to heaven whether or not they have trusted in Christ. This is causing many people to end up ultimately hearing this most frightening passage written in God's Word.
Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Please, brothers and sisters, stop saying; "forgive even if they are not sorry." Allow an unrepentant sinner to feel the consequences of their sin, this may cause them to see that God will not forgive them if they are not sorry and neither will we, it could save their soul. God has a reason for obedience to His word, that is doing things His way is vitally important to our witness here on earth.
Coddling sinners does not cause them to trust in Christ, it only solidifies the excuses in their own mind that justify sin.
Remember the devil says the opposite of what God says, psychology came from the devil based on Darwinism, in which people are nothing more than animals to be manipulated. Of course, psychology gets some things right just as the devil adds wrong ideas to right ideas to fool those who are not discerning.
We must be careful not to add to God's word things that are not written there, they sound right, they sound kind but they do the opposite of the purpose of God. It is more important to maintain the integrity of God's Word than for someone to "feel" good about themselves.
It is when we understand our own fleshly evil that we can confess to be born-again. No one who thinks they are good and special without God will be saved. Everyone must be crushed by their sin to confess and be changed by Christ.
Acts 3:19
"Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,"
In order to repent (change our mind), we must see ourselves as sinners in need of a Savior. Every time we forgive someone who is not sorry we are leading them to believe they need no forgiveness from us or from God.
The kindest thing we can do for anyone is to lead them to the truth so they can make an informed choice to follow God or to reject Him. Their choice will determine their eternity, either heaven or hell. Do not hold the truth from them, give them an opportunity to confess their sinfulness and trust in Christ.
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